The most fantastic news of yesterday came via email – Angel offered my an indoor parking place for my treasured Lexus. Yes, she did! She is my Angel and I noted, for the first time, that she is the Assistant Manager. We have always gotten along so well – she ushered me into Tam Ridge. She helped me fill out the form and an hour later I was a resident of Marin – away from cursed San Francisco – crime ridden and on total shut down. The rent was most favorable and my first month was free. My Lexus shall be most happy to be in out of the sun. I cannot wait to tell Alexus – she is taking me to water aerobics this morning. Then later to pick up my repaired jewelry and then to meet a new friend for lunch. A busy day for Alexis and a lexus.
But (also yesterday) the chore was to sort through stacks of paper work – retrieved from storage I think. The item is on yellow legal paper- and barely readable , even to the author. I almost fainted dead away upon reading because it was ok so long ago and (it feels) far away. I never date things – well men in the good old days – but not notes to myself and others. I will now quote a long ago self.
“We decided to distancing is essential but we’ve been overdoing it. I decided to take the BIG PLUNGE and write to tell you of my human condition. It may be best summarized by the statement by Sandy Emerson at 8:59 on 8/16/76. “Gawd, Alexis you’re so stable, I do not recognize you!” To which I responded that I would wear a carnation in my buttonhole upon our next meeting. She responded by suggesting that I wear it in my navel. The above is a comment upon the difficulty most people have when learning of other people’s changes. My most grandiose news is that I have been accepted to law school and will commence the ordeal in two weeks. Ordeal as I will continue to work full-time, drive to San Francisco four nights a week and sacrifice almost every free moment to the pursuit of knowledge. I am really excited by it all, however ,I only hope that if the grind becomes too arduous I shall have the grace to admit failure rather than kill myself.”
I have no idea who the recipient of these truths were – absolutely none. But this paragraph on the opposite side of the page.I live and work in Marin County which to those of us in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada has to be pure heaven. I have surpassed all of my expectations, become somewhat professional at tennis, cross country skiing and continue to dab in photography (I got paid for my black and white pictures of kids). Thinking of changing my last name to Maykoff. “
No response – perhaps I did not send the yellow lined paper. It was prior to the days of computers. Whomever, it was, we have lost touch. If we ever were in touch. But finding it was profound. I have always been tough, it wasn’t just going to London in 2014. But looking back, my terrible choice in men destroyed my spirit – one followed another. I have been free for years – because of Covid and now the Muslim faith. I do laugh as I write.
I also find scraps of paper with meaningful quotes, for example: “If you follow your passion everything else falls into place.” That is what I did – that is the reason that I have an enormous retirement income stemming from the County of Marin, a defined benefit program. The security of this income has allowed me to break up with three multibillionaires. Now one was only 17 at the time but he was the richest, worth 36.4 billion. Not sure if he got over the rejection – we continued our friendship but it seems to be on hold. His sister called last week to tell me that she loved me. It is the truth. I always tell the truth – I am sure that liars do not believe my life and they lie, so assume everyone else does. When living in Vancouver sent a powerful email to the Emperor (his nickname). At this point in time I did type The Emperor into the search engine of the blog, it turned up 51 entries. Briefly scanned them, not to find the email wisdom but a blog with some shocking presentiments. Presentiment is, of course, the perfect word: premonition intuition, feeling, hunch,, sneaking suspicion, feeling in one’s bones, funny feeling, vague feeling, inkling, idea, sixth sense; presage. I almost fainted dead away. It is copied, most retrievable and when I have the strength shall repeat it. Dp I want his strange feeling in my bones to come true – will repeating it make it happen? At this moment I do not know. It would make my life come totally together, as if there were a divine plan for all of the recent unlikely events. But it would change my very existence absolutely and totally. Do I want that? Am I ready?
As that journey to the past did not meet with any luck as there was no mention of the remembered email. So the, in desperation, remembered to whom email was sent so llooked to Patrick Au’s saved emails, but it was not found there either. But what a trip down memory lane that was. He and I super close, enjoying laughs and so much affection. I have no idea what happened to him but as he was working in the endangered hotel industry, it cannot be good. Last time I knew he was in Vancouver. As hotels open up – who knows if he (and they) managed to survive or whether they moved on to bigger and better things.
I am therefore forced to reinvent the wheel. This written to The Emperor whose real name is Philipp Posch.
Me: I tell the truth. You lie. I always catch you. It is because when one lies you tell different lies to different people about different things. It is a nightmare to remember all of that and hold down a job at the same time. Whereas, I only have to remember one truth which is told to all people and besides that I am fortunate enough to be retired. So I catch you every time, sooner or later.
I decided to Google him just for a laugh. It appears that he is in California. Now that is bizarre. Of course, I knew him in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada when he was the General Manager at the Trump International Hotel and Tower. Will I reach out to him? Doubtful.
Alter Ego: Why would you reach out to him when he is a proven liar?
Me: Well, he did sort of save my life and he was funny and we were once close.
Alter Ego: Do what you like Alexis, you always do. But your life is very full and complicated at this present moment.
Me: You are right about that. But why did I suddenly think of him and look him up?
Alter Ego: I do not know. Perhaps it will be revealed.
Found this in a June 21,2020 blog. “I found this quote somewhere, do not remember where. “She sees the good in people even if it is not there. She fell in love with his soul before she touched his skin . If that is not love I do not know what is.” Lamare” I do definitely see the good in people even when it is not there. I do reluctantly admit to being in love with a man’s soul before I have touched his skin. Yikes!!!!
But back to reality, attached to this blog are two photographs. A man on Instagram, Mr. Old School, a photographer cleverly asks followers to choose between two photos. Such an invitation garners a response, whereas ordinary photographers either post pictures themselves or get an agency to do so. Mr. Old School involves people – he and I have an ongoing conversation actually. So here is my invitation to you, although you cannot respond on the blog. I am planning to gift Wise Man with one of my photographs for his office. Which one would you suggest.? Gentle reader, as you can see, one of them is of two women walking toward one of the most scenic spots in all of France. The other is the interior of the Tate Britain. Which would you choose or should I leave the choice up to him?
This has been a most unusual blog – filled with the past. My current life is so blessed, shall write about yesterday tomorrow. Again one of the best days of my life, again beginning with adventures at the Marin Jewish Community Center. I made two new women friends – yes, women, not men, and in one day. Both very unique, my attraction to them and them to me is most different. I know you shall love to hear about it. Perhaps that adage is true: efore you can open new doors, you must close the old ones. Perhaps this blog is a way of closing old doors. Perhaps not, as one signals presage, a sixth sense. Could be considered an omen. .