I am back at it, going through two file boxes brought from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada two and a half years ago. Such treasures are being discovered. One is a handwritten note; the other is a Christmas card as interior of the card promises the recipient: Season’s Greetings. The handwritten note is written to me: “Alexis – if you are only going to have relationships with those in your own social class , who are you going to have a relationship with? You are in a class of your own.”
It is not signed, do not recognize the handwriting – but it is obviously one of my admirers.
The printing on the Christmas card is not cursive but it is barely legible (now that takes talent). There is a translation of some words provided by my cursive writing. “If you decide , in the future, that I am not the devil incarnate, then I would be very pleased to hear from you, despite the commentary, sometimes laced with with vitriol, they are fun/exciting. Bye X. Then there is a P.P.S. 623 R.
Who is this? Again, no idea, but deductive reasoning comes to play. It is obviously someone who is extremely literate, in the English language; furthermore, has to be British because of the X – (Canadians and Americans sign xoxoxo which means hugs and kissed). Brits only do X. The greeting card is a painting an oil on board by Winifred Nicholson, Cyclamen and Primula (1923 (circa). The back of the card explain:s Cyclamen and Primula was painted by Winifred Nicholson in Lagano, Switzerland. The painting is one of the most important in a group of of works made in the early 1920s. About half a dozen were completed by the beginning of April 1923, when a letter the artist described them as “sunlight in white paper.” The series explores the theme of flowers wrapped in paper on a window-ledge and seen against the Alpine landscape.”
It is an absolutely perfect greeting card for the following reasons: 1) the mountains in the background resemble the Canadian Rockies and 2) Ikebana flower arranging which has been my passion for over twenty years 3) a series of close-up flowers I photographed in the style of Georgia O’Keefe
By the way, I googled incarnate to learn that the author indeed has a vast command of the English language. Its synonyms are: in human form, in the flesh, in physical form, in bodily form, made flesh, made manifest; corporeal, physical, fleshly, embodied.
So if this is the guy that reasoning brings, I was his bright light at the end of a tunnel What does that expression mean? It is the the solution a difficult problem. The author? Ada Adams”There is a light at the end of every tunnel. Some tunnels just happen to be longer than others.” It is an idiom that dates back at least to the 1880s. My imminent departure from the shores of the UK allowed him permission to ‘indulge’ once again in exciting/fun activities, which had dulled during his forty odd years living with his ‘partner’. I would magically disappear upon the cessation of my student visa as off I would go to the New World. Somewhere, he did not really care although, to be kind to him (and to me) he suggested that I go ‘home’ – which we both supposed was Marin. But it was not all that simple, neither for him, nor for me. He clung tenaciously, came back repetitively but not offering anything new nor any commitment. Thank goodness, as we were so basically incompatible. After about three days, (perhaps two and a half) despite glorious rolls in the hay , he would be so glad to leave and I so glad that he was leaving. It does not mean he did not love me – he did. He was obsessed with me – once in a moment of weakness told me of pages of Pulitzer Prize winning book by Richard Flanagan: The Narrow Road to the Deep North. The moving story of a man captured by the Japanese and put in a concentration camp during WWII. He was totally obsessed by a woman married to his cousin, they had an illicit affair but never got back together even though it became technically possible. He was absolutely, totally obsessed.
Me: But I do not want to be that! I do not want to be an obsession! I never asked for that and hate it.
He: Oh, I did not really mean that.
But he did, just did not want to confess. I was that for him and will, in all probability remain so. Our physical relationship ceased, although I did return to London in 2018 and it was alive and wel,l at that time. I returned to London in October of 2019, purposively did not see him. Instead met the Crown Prince of Dubai aka the Sultan, aka Fazza. His real name is Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid al Mockton. A chance encounter at the Pestana Chelsea Bridge Hotel in London. Two days later he approached in western clothing announcing he was the Sultan of the blog and we had an utterly involving conversation – I remember each and every word.. But never saw him again. Perhaps shall, at some future time, but he is not the same man,met back then, for some reason. I do divine the cause of his misery. Divine in this usage is defined as: discover (something) by guesswork or intuition. The synonyms of this usage are: surmise, conjecture, suspect, suppose, discern, assume, presume, deduce, infer, work out, theorize, hypothesize, intuit, perceive, recognize, see, realize, appreciate, understand, grasp, apprehend, comprehend; figure; figure out, latch onto, cotton onto, catch onto, tumble to, get, get the picture; twig, suss savvy. So I have cottoned onto, sussed, and got the picture for his unhappiness, admittedly with the help of Wise Man. I pity him for so many reasons. Of course, should I ever meet him I shall be polite and respectful, he is after all Royalty. Hopefully, we might laugh together again as we did in the lobby of the London Pestana Chelsea Bridge Hotel, in Londontown.
It was back to London again, arriving on December 25, 2019, again staying at the Pestana Bridge Hotel. No London Lover, by design, instead met a huge congregation of the Royal Family of Qatar. At that time, due to the blockade, Qatar and Dubai were enemies. How was I to know that? I was, after all, born in Saskatchewan, If I was ‘seeing’ London Lover, I would have never met members of this wonderful Royal family, whom I thought at the time, were members of the Royal Family of Dubai. It was later clarified, much to my delight, for various reasons. Unbelievably it all led to my embracing the Islamic faith. None of this possible if London Lover in my life as I would be in my room most of the time.
Love ‘em and leave ‘em and let them be lonely seems to have been my motto for most of my life. I am definitely going to give up that stance should I marry again. It will have to be “until death do us part.”
Recently, I have been knee deep in men. Not sexually these days due to Covid and the faith, but my friendships have been with men. Formerly I had many women friends but they did not tolerate the changes London wrought. Found the text of one, a friend of over ten years, who said:
She: This is not Alexis
Me: It is Alexis, but a new Alexis. New and powerful. VERY! I am Alexis but a powerful one this time. With the same sense of humor.
Never heard from her again, though she lives in Marin and has the same Primary Care Physician. I guess I did see her at his office quite recently but we did not reconnect.
There needs to be constant contact in order to sustain a friendship, of any sort. This is most strange and unusual. I do have a girlfriend, who lives in the UK – we met in Iceland – her nickname is Flower Girl’s Wife. We remain in contact due to the auspices of Instagram. I made a Reel yesterday announcing that my trip to Expo 2020 would be delayed until December. The weather is cooler at that time and the opening ceremonies and early crowds would be diminished. The Reel was a selfie, with my hat stand in the background.
She: You turned into a hat stand!
Me: It is not easy being a hat stand! Hahaha That is funny! A Muslim woman is to wear head coverings but, as usual, I overdid it! Hahaha I am now laughing SO hard.
Me: I cannot wait to see you again! I promise to leave the hat stand at home.
This blog was begun with the intent of talking about my two new found girlfriends discovered on Friday. Oh well, there is always tomorrow. Stay tuned!
The photographs will be the greeting card and Alexis, as Hat Stand if I can recover it.