Well, I do have an obligation to bring cheer, joy and happiness. I have the wonderful gift of a sense of humor (which is inherited by the way). Allah commands that if you have a gift you are supposed to use it. In these trying and miserable times it is so needed. I made a magnificent recovery from my booster vaccination. I slept from Saturday afternoon until Monday morning, almost continuously. Sleeping, of course, boosted my immune system which is most powerful, due also to my sense of humor and good attitude. Therefore, I was able to get out of bed in the early hours of Monday morning, preform morning prayers and then drive off to Marin Jewish Community Center for exercise. Soon I shall describe that day in all of its glory, but, at the moment I shall borrow humor from the August 9th edition of the The New Yorker, entitled Left Behind, written by Zoe Pearl. It makes one laugh about these troubled times. I shall quote from the first and the last paragraph.
“Lately, I’ve been starting to feel as though my friends are so much further ahead of me in life. Every week, someone gets engaged, or announces a pregnancy, or complains of having a slimy alien parasite drawl down her throat, attach itself to her brain stem, and take over her body as part of a wide-scale invasion. Meanwhile, I am still going on first dates.”
I feel I must share a portion of the second paragraph. “It seems like just yesterday that we were all carefree twenty somethings with entry-level jobs, kissing strangers in bars at 2 a.m. But now my friends all have responsibilities, mortgages to pay, a planet to overrun and strip of natural resources until Earth is a lifeless hull. I see my friends a lot more infrequently than I used to—everyone’s so busy now, with work and the aforementioned alien invasion and all. When we do get together, it is a lot harder to relate. The only thing my friends want to talk about is their kids—at least Th’s what I assume they are talking about. It’s hard to tell, since they mostly communicate telepathically via alien hive minds, Talk about feeling left out!
Pearl ends this hilarious article in the following fashion. “So, for now, I’m just going to focus on myself, maybe travel or take a pottery class, really use the time I have out here in the woods alone, hiding from the invaders, for some self-discovery. Because someday I just might meet one of the few other human survivors, and we lock eyes, knowing that we may well be theist two of our species. I’ll know that I’ve found my person, and see that the long journey was all worth it.”
Is this not both priceless and poignant? What is poignant? It is touching, moving, sad, saddening, affecting, pitiful, piteous, pitiable, bitter, painful, distressing, disturbing, heart-rending, heartbreaking, tear-jerking, plaintive, upsetting, tragic. Pearl is touching, moving, heart-rending and, in a way tragic. But she is also funny and so spot on. Spot on is chiefly British, informal : exactly correct : completely accurate. Other words are accurate, precise, proper true and bang on. This pandemic has altered lives, there is no two ways about it. Pearl has captured this phenomena that we all she around us. It has here, in this Tam Ridge complex in which I live. But interestingly not, at the Jewish Community Center. The women and I discuss the pandemic in the past tense, relieved that it is over. If I had not joined the JCC I would never have learned of the possibility of a third vaccine – one woman spoke of it and told me what to do to get it. I would have never heard about it at this place, the place where I live, for various reasons.
But let me tell you of my wonderful yesterday. I drove to JCC arriving ten minutes before class. Laughing and conversing with my new found friends. I had thought that Labor Day was yesterday and with the High Holidays of the Jewish faith – surmised there would be no class. So I laughed at my mistake, caught two elevators as my knees cannot navigate stairs as yet, went to my tested and true locker (the same one as last time so I will not forget). Put on my black strapless bathing suit, wrapped myself in my pink robe and headed toward the pool. A different instructor, so many helpful people surrounding me and helping me with the life belt thing one wears. I am not brave enough to go into deep water as yet, but I shall get there. Lasted the entire class, then to the jacuzzi for some conversation of like-minded intelligent older women. Got dressed and went to find my car. I am always loosing the thing. A security man volunteered to help me find it.
Me: My goodness you are tall.
He: Yes, I am six foot nine.
Me: That is tall for sure. I am short but I am a Muslim, but I do not look it.
He: I am a Muslim as well.
Me: You are??? I thought there were none in Marin.
He: Well I do not look it either being black and wearing an earring, but I am.
Me: I may have need for Security. You would be just the man I would be looking for. You are SO big and fearsome looking that you do not need a gun. They would just look at you and go hide.
The Lexus located, drove to Lexus of Marin, met with Junior who placed my permanent license plates on the Lexus of my desire, ran the car through the wash, fixed the scuffed tires and THEN miraculously arranged for automatic payments as I am planning to be out of town. He may caretake my car when I am gone – better than leaving it here. As yet no indoor parking place, and even if that takes place there are rumors of bird doo doo on cars.
I was SO hungry at this point – drove to my Marsala Kitchen ordering the absolutely delicious shrimp egg foo young. It was so delicious I asked to speak to the chef.
Me: I always do this. When food is so good I ask to speak to the chef and tell them why I like their food. I can cook, taken tens of cooking lessons and so can describe what I like.
So I told him of the delicious taste, the perfectly cooked shrimp and vegetables. The noodles with their intense flavor. There was so much of it that I took a box home.
Me: I realize it is silly. Congratulating the chef on the food and then not eating it. But I shall have your delicious dish for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Then to Trader Joe’s located in the same shopping center. Laughed with San Rafael High students on their lunch break and was treated with such care and understanding bu the staff. One young man introduced me to a star – a man who advised my selection of a clear liquid. It was most delicious.
Then homeward bound. But there made an enormous mistake. Saw Jennifer, a charming young girl who has an evil care giver. Terrible woman who said she would inform management of me – I had done nothing at all but silly management will try and hassle me about it. They will not anymore as Allah has instructed me not to talk to them – ever. They will have to evict me and they cannot evict me. They have tried to ‘protect me’ – but all they did is disarm me. They have an evil cancer in their midst by the name of Eva – the most passive aggressive individual who ever walked the face of the earth. They say the staff and residents like her – it is a lie, everyone talks to me and they despise her. But I no longer care. I have a blog self, I have an Instagram self, I have a JCC self. That is enough selves. I no longer have a Tam Ridge self. There are new owners, perhaps a change will take place, but I am not counting on it. It is not, and never will be a community for several reasons. It is a place to lay my head at night and that is all. JCC has a warmer pool and indoors, classes, a better equipped gym. I no longer need this place. Well I do have to sleep at night and I shall continue to seep here at night, on my four poster bed which I once fell out of. But I gave my enormous unicorn to a little girl who loved it. It will give her comfort and now I have the whole bed to myself. Phew.
If I can manage it you can see evidence of my separate selves. My JCC card, my driver’s license (I look SO Muslim) and my passport photo (decidedly cute). I am the same me, you would never know it.