There is no other way to describe it – other than lazy, crazy, hazy. My brain has apparently left my body but I am not missing it. I am attracted to the strangest of things, some of which shall be enumerated.
Received my usual ample number of New Yorker articles but focused on this unlikely choice. It features a woman reading a bool “I ’m overwhelmed by the simple elegance of that girl with her book. I have the urge to tell her a secret or buy her a lavender-scented candle.That girl strikes me as someone who has moderate to advanced knitting skills, but isn’t weird about it.I’m very attracted to that girl. Not in a creepy way. But she is objectively hot.That girl, over there—the one with the book. I’m positive that all of the art in her home is framed.That girl must look very beautiful when she criesThat girl surely woke up at 7 a.m. and baked a strawberry tart “just because.”Look at how gingerly that girl grasps her book. Her hands seem soft but not sweaty. I would like to hold one. That girl could explain the Electoral College to me in a way that isn’t patronizing at all……That girl has the kind of calming presence that you would want around when taking the LSAT or birthing a child. Seeing that tranquil girl reading her book just reminded me that everything is going to be O.K. That girl is definitely reading that book. This is not a performance. Although, it is strange that after fifteen minutes she’s still on the same page.” My favorite reflection is: “That girl could explain the Electoral College to me in a way that isn’t patronizing at all.” How extremely funny that is. You can look it all up for yourself, here is the link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/what-i-imagine-strangers-think-about-me-when-they-see-me-reading-a-book-in-public?utm_source=onsite-share&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=onsite-share&utm_brand=the-new-yorker.
But here is something completely different but even more unusual. I emailed Former London Lover asking for help as I was facing a difficult dilemma. His response was most enlightening and thought provoking. hello alexis,I cant help in understanding why human beings feel the need to believe in something/one which helps them make sense of the world without using their god given intellectual capacity. I have a scientific background which basically says how do i test this proposition? is it falsifiable? if not,, then its over to the faith box . My faith box is empty apart for a faith in individual human beings.If you want to get a feel of how they may be seeing the world try and have a look at a bbc film called death of a princess. but don’t tell your correspondents.” Some stuff in between, ending” “Sorry, no jokes today.”
Wrote him a lengthly return email thanking him for his thoughts which led to further thoughts and reflection of my part. But as I typed the response, , realized that this is, almost to the day, our five year ‘anniversary’. We ‘got together’ in London, five years ago. We have not seen one another in, perhaps, two and a half years and we had a most rocky relationship when we ‘saw’ one another but that is a long time to be, in a strange way, involved with one another. The poor man has the patience of Job – I broke up with him at least one hundred times, in person and by email. What does that mean, the patience of Job? Googled that one: “The phrase “patience of Job” originated from the Bible. Job was a man who steadfastly believed in God and always kept his faith and patience no matter what troubles Satan thrust upon himself or his family. Since the time the Bible was written, this phrase has been used widely ever since.” The moral of the story of Job: Job shows us how to keep the faith, no matter how grim the circumstances of life may be. Sometimes the stakes are enormous, In the unseen world, Satan and the armies of darkness will be defeated because of our faith. How can a person maintain faith in God in the face of apparently meaningless suffering?”
I guess London Lover had the faith and patience that I would ‘come around’. He once patiently wrote that he remembered the good times we had exploring London together – he is an excellent historian and took me places far off the tourist maps. He was like a little boy on those excursions – bringing me snacks. And being most excited. On a more mundane level, he awakened my dormant sexuality, before I met him I had been chaste (not chased) for ten or fifteen years. The man did unlock a tiger. Mundane has the coolest of synonyms: humdrum, dull, boring, tedious, monotonous, tiresome, wearisome, prosaic, unexciting, uninteresting, uneventful, unvarying, unvaried, unremarkable, repetitive, repetitious, routine, ordinary, everyday, day-to-day, quotidian, run-of-the-mill, commonplace, common, workaday, usual, pedestrian, customary, regular, normal; unimaginative, banal, hackneyed, trite, stale, platitudinous; informal typical, vanilla, plain vanilla, hacky; rare banausic. ANTONYMS extraordinary, imaginative. Do you realize that I just labelled sex as prosaic, tiresome, monotonous and unremarkable? Well, in all fairness, the antonyms do capture the moments.
Now this is the final surprise of the day. It looks as if the Sultan, aka Fazza, aka the Crown Prince of Dubai is back in my life. Not the guy that came onto me a couple of weeks ago, he proved to be a fake. I called him, as he had called me earlier one day, here is the conversation.
Me: I told you where I have lived. Where have you lived?
He: Only Dubai.
Me: You are a fake!! I met the real thing in London and he told me where he lived in the past. It was not just Dubai.
The man was caught red-handed and had to admit to the truth. Upon the request of the ‘real thing’ I gave Fazza his telephone number as he is on a mission to trace the fakes. Or else, this ‘real thing’ is a fake as well. Oh well, as I said to him yesterday
Me: I got over you once! I can get over you again.
If you want to read and understand the history of the Sultan, aka Fazza aka the Crown Prince of Dubai – just type the words into the search engine of the blog. But here is the hysterically funny part. AAA painted my face like the flag of Qatar, that is my most recent Instagram picture. Dubai and Qatar are not exactly friends. So it is akin to waving a red flag in front of a bull, but it was not done for that purpose. Googled that expression: A willfully infuriating or aggravating provocation; something that incites great anger or annoyance. An allusion to matadors’ practice of waving red flags at a bull during a bullfight, though the color of the flag actually makes no difference to the animal.”
In case any of you are wondering I did not go to bed with the Sultan, as I called him not knowing in the beginning who he was. He had a name tag around his neck that said Sultan, prompting a blog on my part from the London hotel where we both were staying (in separate rooms of course). I erroneously though that the Qatar Kids and entourage staying in the same hotel two months later were the Royal family of Dubai. I was most relieved to finally learn that they were not when the truth of the Ruler of Dubai’s atrocious behavior came to light in March of 2020. But I do remember an early question emailed by “My Princess”
She: Are you still in love with the Crown Prince of Dubai?
Me: I am not talking!! But then quickly and honestly answered. NO
Such a strange life. The constraints of Ramadan are of great comfort to me and I am most safe. An announcement by the new management of this complex was most welcome.
“Our community is guarded and patrolled by a security team. They patrol our community after hours and make sure that our common areas are secured. Most importantly, they are available throughout the night for any noise concerns or security issues that you may encounter.” The Central Marin Police Department has, on two occasions, promised to keep me safe and now it looks like they have back-up. An attempt was made on my life in San Francisco apartment on August 18, 2019 so I am a bit wary. I felt safe here in Marin before but now I feel really safe.
The photograph is me, in all my glory in case you missed it. Alexis as the flag of Qatar.