No Need to Develop Decorum; An Eligible Husband Found and Then Lost; Decorum and Impropriety Defined; A Surprise Call from a Valued Caller; A Joke About Revenge; Walking Away When Duped; The Attack of the Clothes Moths

These last three or four days have been filled with momentous events. Most of them quite horrible, they will be slowly explained. But, in the long run, everything has turned out Ok – I am bruised but not beaten. The first, shall we say situation will be presented, the disappointment and despair revealed but then the solution found.

Care Giver arrived with news of a lifetime. An eligible husband had been found – the potential groom’s father approached Care Giver’s brother, responding to the known Pakistani search , for a husband for Baby. The young man, the son, sounded rather ideal. Ambitious, a graduate of university (even though his family was not educated and rather poor) He had viable credentials and could work with Care Giver’s son as they shared professions.

He was not fluent in English BUT would come to the USA, immigrate to this fair land. The tentative plan was a voyage to Pakistan accompanied by Care Giver – some time to get to know the young (and did I say handsome young man) probably marry in Pakistan and then back would I come to the USA and when immigration plans were realized and formalized then he would join me. Distantly related to Care Giver’s family, all would be fine. We would be a big happy extended Pakistani family.

Well, it did not work out for several reasons. Research was done on the status of the virus in Pakistan. A vaccination program was not in place, Chinese vaccine had been acquired two days before but not nearly enough to vaccinate the entire country. Moreover, the intended is he not in any group to receive the vaccine first – due to his youth and not being an essential worker. If I went to Pakistan for the meeting and marriage, I might never get out of there. No man is ok with that.

But at the exact same time things had fallen apart there. Care Giver spoke to his nephew, the nephew, acquainted with the ‘intended’ said the ‘intended’ did not want this, he was in love with a Pakistani woman and wanted to marry her. But his father, sensing a Green Card and upward mobility was pushing him into me. When this was discovered everyone was appalled. CG’s brother will never have anything more to do with the father upon learning of the duplicity. So the father’s life on this earth will not be easy as the entire family is shocked by the lying and treachery. The father, a Muslim will not be going to Paradise, in all probability.

So got my hopes up and then they were dashed. The dream, a trip to Pakistan, fantastic Muslim wedding dress, attentive young groom, an extended family. Such fun. Oh well – I was saved in the nick of time, no actually early on, come to think of it. when the discovery made. . A duplicitous father-in-law, a mourning groom and possibly being stuck in Pakistan for ages because when this country reaches a high level of vaccination for its citizens, people travelling from countries with high levels of the virus, will not be accepted. So there was some disappointment but then some glee thinking of the revenge that shall be heaped upon the father. Former friend Colette told the greatest joke. It centered upon a poor, rural, rather uneducated man who wanted to get even with another.

A man of God: Revenge is mine sayeth the Lord.

He: But only if I get to watch and it takes a really long time.

I always have loved that joke, Colette told it years and years ago and it is easy to remember.

Besides, with this young guy and his traditional family, it would be necessary to develop some decorum. The word shall be defined so you can see the inherent problems. :properness, seemliness, decency, decorousness, good taste, correctness, appropriateness, It shall be defined, to aid all of us, not just you but me as well. The definition is behaviour in keeping with good taste and propriety. Used in a sentence: She had acted with the utmost decorum. Synonyms are: propriety; politeness, courtesy, good manners; refinement, breeding, deportment, dignity, respectability, modesty, demureness. Antonym: impropriety. To say the very least this is going to be most difficult considering the fact that impropriety best defines Alexis McBride (although perhaps not Ayla, my Muslim name). But upon examining the definition of impropriety, I find that it is not true. I am not not guilty of misconduct, dishonesty, corruption, unscrupulousness, illegitimacy, unprofessionalism, irregularity; inappropriateness; unseemliness, indecorousness, indiscretion, indelicacy, injudiciousness, indecency, immorality, unwholesomeness, immodesty, indecorum, bad taste, impoliteness.

I am occasionally impolite but only to those who are rude to me first. This is a conversation with a rude person.

Me: How dare you speak to me like that!

They: You are rude!

Me: Who started this?? You were rude to me and I responded in the same way. I am most polite to those who are polite to me. You rude people think that I am nice to everyone but you are dead wrong. I used to be a lawyer and I am powerful. Please do get out of my way and get out of my life.

Admittedly, I can be injudicious at times, but quickly get over it. I tend to trust, initially and intuitively. Do not lie so expect the other to tell the truth. That is not always true as has been recently discovered. But upon finding out that I have been duped, I walk away and do not look back. When I am done, I am done. Found out another guy lied. More about that later. He frantically emailed but the mail went to the garbage heap unopened. Blocking will be a possibility but it takes time and effort.

This is the truth, sitting about in moderate despair about the Pakistani guy, when the phone rang.

He: I miss you! I miss you so much.

Me: I miss you too! I might be able to come and visit as I got the vaccine and your far away country is safe.

He: I will pick you up at the airport when you arrive.

Yes, and two families in this far away country are vying for my presence in their very palatial, (shall be say) homes.

Honest to goodness, that did happen. For many reasons, that call may have been most timely. Time will tell – hahahaha

The photograph is of a painting near by bed. It is so sweet but has being attacked by clothes moths – they have invaded my apartment. More about that and they in a subsequent blog. .

I do present a picture, somewhat intentionally, that my life is jus a bowl of cherries. That is a marvellous idiom and do specialize in idioms (and idiots occasionally) The meaning? Something that you say that means that life is very pleasant. This phrase is often used humorously to mean the opposite.” But believe me, and you shall in these next blogs, things do happen that are not altogether pleasant. Generally the problem is solved, but it does take a great deal of effort.

Fortunately, I am surrounded by the most helpful people, both known and unknown. I am not just liked, but loved by many, if not most. All the folk are viable. What is viable. It is workable, feasible, practicable, practical, applicable, usable, manageable, operable, operational, possible, within the bounds/realms of possibility, within reach, within reason, likely, achievable, attainable, accomplishable, realizable, reasonable, sensible, realistic, logical, useful, of use, serviceable, suitable, expedient, effective, valid, tenable; sound, well advised, well thought out, well grounded, judicious, level-headed, wise.

So those that surround me are sensible, realistic, within reach, attainable and accomplished. Also well advised and well thought out. So there! So there! So there!

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