So I have found a new space, a new home which is not really a home but a restaurant. It is Ombre and it was quite by accident that I came upon it. I was taking my computer into that wonderful place Yolo to have a new battery put in it and the shift key on the left fixed, therefore walking down Mainland. I happened into Ombre and I SO love the place, everything about the place. The staff are incredible – I am slowly learning their names. But I met the big cheese, the boss, the owner, God himself…Jeffrey. He is a super neat guy, I can just tell. He is apparently a really big deal but he does not act that way at all. He has a great attitude and I just don’t say that because he likes me. Hahahaha. There is going to be a grand opening party on Saturday at nine and you can beat your bottom dollar that I am going to be there. The clientele is OK – some scammers, some would be writers, some hustlers but also nice people. It looks like friend Kathleen is going to be able to display some of her art there – I helped set that up. It would be a great venue as the walls are white, high and barren, but I guess it is up to Kathleen and Jeffrey. Personally, I think it would bring warmth and life to the space and I am sort of an expert because I was in Kathleen’s studio twice – once when I was interviewed and once when Adam Temple was interviewed. (Now that is a weird story!). Kathleen’s name is Kathleen Katon Tonneseen. You look it up lazy, why do I have to all of the work for you????
So after she interviewed me in November of 2018 Kathleen and I became friends. She is a very good friend and I shall tell you why. For example yesterday she took me to two art galleries and it was just what I needed! She must have guessed. After the utter depravity of Kings County Jail and those awful goon guards I needed a lift. I desperately needed hope to rise above and the art provided that. I did cry briefly because I have not altogether recovered from the trauma of that experience and perhaps I never shall. But I did get through it and I did learn a lot. My revenge motive is abating somewhat because of the influence of Kathleen and other friends. It is funny, I emailed to Adam.
Me: The bruises from the incarceration are containable but hurt when I lean the wrong way. I do not jest. It was hell. Oh well, I shall never go to Seattle again as long as I live. Alexis
He: No response as yet, he can be a bit slow on the uptake but is improving.
My close close friend is most responsive and when I sent him an email talking about my feelings he said:
He: Those types of lawsuits, as you know, drag on and on. All the while you are unable to move forward because it keeps dragging you back in. Life is to be enjoyed and London sounds much more enjoyable than fighting.
Me: You are such a great friend! Thanks for your support! It feels right particularly since it have the blog to release the venom, Today’s is a real big wham. I also do not talk about the experience telling people to read the blog – it helps me contain the negativity because I do not speak of it.
My goodness, where would I be without my friends? I suppose with my family and that would be living hell. You shall not believe this but just as I was type, type, typing an email came from David in London containing actual instructions found on labels. It is going in the blog.
On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap — “Directions: Use like regular soap.”
On some Swanson frozen dinners — “Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) — “Do not turn upside down.”
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding — “Product will be hot after heating.”
On packaging for a Rowenta iron — “Do not iron clothes on body.”
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine — “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
On Nytol Sleep Aid — “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
On most brands of Christmas lights — “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
On a Japanese food processor — “Not to be used for the other use.”
On Sainsbury’s peanuts — “Warning: contains nuts.”
On an American Airlines packet of nuts — “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
On a child’s Superman costume — “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
Now where, pray tell, would I be without David and his stupid, silly jokes AND I get to go be with him in London for a couple of years.
So this is an actual truth and true story. I was reporting to David that 41 men (at that time, but numbers have risen) have asked to go to bed with me since April of 2016.
He: Well, little girl! How many did you go to bed with?
Me: I do not know, David, let me think.
He: Hurry up, little girl.
Me: Five, I think. Is that ok?
He: Yes, little girl! But no more than eight!
Me: Yes sir!
I was telling this story to a woman n the loo at VSO on Saturday. She was at the free concert with her mother who was 91.
She: You need a waiting list!
Me: I never thought of that! I thought a simple NO would suffice but that way I could keep them guessing.
She: Yes and then they might not bother other women.
Honest to goodness the 91year old mom agreed and we laughed and laughed and laughed.
I will keep you posted on the mounting numbers. I can see on the horizon a couple of other offers. Later!
The cartoon is from the Iceland cartoonist Hugleikur Dagsson, It is most appropriate.