On Saturday morning my Juno “acceptance award” speech was aired on the blog. Cousin Gail and I were talking on the phone.
Me: So this video got posted on the blog. I sent it to Chris and he immediately posted. There is no explanation and you know what?
Me: It looks like I am drunk, honest to goodness it does. But I wasn’t – it was morning and there was a wine stall there at the event but I did not know it and had not made it there when the video was taken.
She: Well, that’s good.
Me: Well not really – to look like you are drunk when you are not. I confuse people.
She: Confuse people?
Me: Yes. People might try to cut me off booze and I just say to them. “I get quieter when I drink.” They don’’t believe me but it is true. I have never been a crying,, slobbering drunk but it does tone me down a bit.
She: It does?
Me: Well yes, alcohol is a depressant.
So now, gentle readers, you have an explanation. This is the other thing that happened. Chris was having a difficult time posting the video of the Star System so I just said something about referring them to Instagram. I went to my blog and my gosh – my Instagram is now on my blog. It does rather seem like an invasion of privacy as I had two separate selves – my Instagram self and my blog self. I am laughing actually. – at the ridiculousness of it all. It is really easy to put an Instagram on Facebook so I do it sometimes. My Instagram self and my FaceBook self is therefore the same person. Thank goodness for that. I am not real sure where and when the Real Self makes its appearance. I suppose when you see me in person, which few do. It is not that I am a recluse but I have a rather large public. It is dirty work but somebody has got to do it.
Very unusual things happen to me and to others that are around me. I faced a moral dilemma a couple of weeks ago and my deliberations reminded me of a book – off to the VPL and with the able assistance of a librarian I was able to retrieve it. The book, by Daniel Jonah Goldhagen is Hitler’s Wiling Executioners: Ordinary Germans and The Holocaust. The book, published in 1996 was a “work of the utmost originality and importance – as authoritative as it is explosive”
which radically transformed thinking about the Holocaust and of Germany during the Nazi period.” Succinctly the book’s premise is that the killers were not primarily SS men or Nazi Party members but perfectly ordinary Germans from all walks of life – “men (and women) who brutalized and murdered Jews both willingly and zealously”. Moreover they did so not because they were coerced but out of a” widespread, profound, unquestioned, and virulent antisemitism.” It was possible for me to distinguish my ‘situation’ from that found in the book and was able to find peace. But then this happened. Walking on Robson Street on the way to the Equinox I encountered six men dressed in identical blue jackets. I laughingly spoke to them.
Me: Did you guys call each other this morning and decide you were all going to wear your blue jackets.
They: (laughingly) No we are here skiing and these are our ski jackets.
Me: Oh, I see. Where are you from?
They: We are from Germany.
Me: Where in Germany?
They all responded naming different cities.
Me: You are lucky! Once, when in my late twenties, I was stuck in Hannover of all places, not a very interesting city.
They all nodded in agreement.
Me: But I had an interesting experience. A woman took me to see Bergen-Belsen – the concentration camp of old before the memorial was built. She told me her father was the major of a nearby town but he knew nothing of what went on there.
One man: I know of Bergen-Belsen.
Me: But when I was living in London there was an exhibit – a recreation of the sight. It was absolutely huge with rail lines bringing hundreds, if not thousands, of Jews to their death. It would be impossible not to know of its existence. But where have you been skiing?
Me: I have been there. Welcome to Canada – I have only been back a year.
It was not an unpleasant interchange but I thought of the improbability of it all. The book and running into the German men. I seriously said to Hottie:
Me: Sometimes strange things happen – it eerily makes me think that I was put there to remind them of what was done during those days.
Hottie: I see why you might feel that way but there is no way of knowing.
Me: You are right about that. No sense worrying about it. But you know what?
Me: I forgot to give them my blog card or even mention it. That was stupid as I could have gotten at least one or two readers.
Hottie: That is unusual. I guess you were distracted.
Me: I guess so. I wasn’t trying to make a point of it – it was just so unusual what that woman said. I was very naive back then I guess.
Coincidences happen. I left an Apple video editing class as it was utterly irrelevant and ended up at the ‘Juno’ concert – danced to a rock and roll band, ate a hot dog and had a glass of wine. The picture attached to this blog is one of my dancing partners – both of them were Chinese. We had so much fun but most Canadians just stood around, looking rather bored. I met an interesting woman from England and a darling little boy by the name of Cameron. He was so sweet and was trying to cheer up his younger brother who was pouting.
Me: I am proud of you Cameron. You are such a nice little boy and you are going to go far.
His Mother: Thank you so much for saying that.
Me: And I am convinced it is true.
I think I might have given the mother my blog card but I cannot actually remember. The woman from England was smart – we talked about our recent experiences with gay men. It was strikingly similar. We made plans to talk about the subject further and I will probably blog about it.