I have no idea how the man does it – but he did it again. Andy Borowitz turned a totally serious situation into something that is totally funny. Here we go: WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a development that could upend American politics, Volodymyr Zelensky has emerged as the front-runner in the 2024 U.S. Presidential contest. A new poll conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute shows the Ukrainian President leading both Republicans and Democrats in the race for the White House.
Now that is not particularly funny as yet but wait, wait there is more (that used to be a come on for sleazy advertisements). According to the poll, Zelensky is the first choice of fifty-one per cent of Americans, followed by President Biden at twenty-three per cent, Donald J. Trump at seventeen per cent, and Senator Josh Hawley at half of one per cent. Davis Logsdon, who supervised the survey, said that Zelensky’s showing in a U.S. Presidential poll was the strongest ever for a Ukrainian politician. “The fact that Zelensky was not born in the U.S. was not seen as an obstacle to his becoming the nation’s President,” Logsdon said. “And, though he does not speak fluent English, that has not historically been an obstacle either.”
The last line is the one that sent me into howls of laughter. “He does not speak fluent English but that has not historically been an obstacle.” Of course, the person that immediately comes to mind is Trump but those two Bush fellows were not exactly linguists either. I am trying to think back further but am rather stumped at the moment. I am so old that I forget some of the presidents of the past. I just remembered Nixon, now, how could I forget him? He was not exactly known for his silver tongue either. Silver tongued is the ability to speak in a way that makes other people do or believe what you want them to do or believe. Some synonyms are: articulate, eloquent, fluent, well-spoken. Antonyms certainly describe Trump and Nixon: inarticulate, ineloquent, unvocal.
S.A.D. and I laugh and joke ALL of the time. He has developed the strange habit of talking to my right foot while driving. I put it up on the console of his cab and he speaks to it – not to me but my foot. One day we had a slightly serious conversation.
He: I used to be a little tiny bit crazy but then I met you and I became REALLY crazy.
Me: That is so funny! I had this friend Bruce who was an educational psychologist and had known me since I was 18. I once asked him: Why do I drive men crazy??? He had the best answer: “Alexis they were crazy to begin with.” I still laugh when I think about it. So with you it is a slightly different version of the same thing I guess. People have no idea about us – we laugh all the time, sometimes hold hands and sometimes he pushes me in a wheelchair. It has to be one of the strangest relationships I have ever had and trust me, that is saying something. Yesterday we stopped to get money in a gas station minimart – I purchased an ice cream treat called Double Chocolate. Rashid was in the taxi as well.
Me: Look you guys I got double chocolate because I am in the taxi with two chocolate guys.
Rashid just shook is head in wonderment but S.A.D. howled in laughter.
He: Alexis you are crazy. Funny but crazy.
Rashid is a very funny texter but not as much in real life. He is quiet and respectful and tries to calm me down. The poor man is going to give up one day when he sees that it is Mission Impossible. He acts like the adult and I act like the kid – our age discrepancy is enormous, I, of course, being the old one. He cares for me psychologically as does S.A.D. – never in my whole life as a person have I been so loved.
Like everyone I sleep and dream. In my prior life used to do dream analysis, writing the dream upon awakening and free associating to the words. Free association in psychological terms is the mental process by which one word or image may spontaneously suggest another without any apparent connection. Put another was it is a psychoanalytic technique for investigation of the unconscious mind, in which a relaxed subject reports all passing thoughts without reservation. Then later had input from Wise Man learning that is one’s unconscious that kicks in during dreams and that the unconscious cannot tell time. So old stuff can re emerge that has noting to do with one’s current existence. That is so true of my dreams very recently – it is old stuff using taking the form of disapproval and rejection and carelessness by former people in my life. Now I just wake up and have the following conversation with myself.
Me: Well, that was unpleasant that dream. A young woman consumed with jealousy striking out at me and her father doing nothing to protect me.
Alter Ego: Yes! That was your life about twenty-five years ago.
Me: Then the arrival of people who really loved me but unable to get away with them as I lost my car keys.
Alter Ego: And now you do not need car keys because you have a taxi driver who takes you where you want to go and waits for you.
Me: Yes, I am so blessed and he is a Muslim too. All praise to Allah.
Summer is descending – it is going to be 92 Fahrenheit today. My plans for the future are changing slightly as Rashid is fasting for me – All Praise to Allah. We joked by text yesterday.
Me: I blogged that you volunteered to fast for me for Ramadan. I said really nice things about you . I used your Muslim name so other woman cannot find you. Hahahahah
He: I actually do not see other women. I am stuck on you my baby.
Me: Swoon, Swoon. You are so romantic.
I wake up every morning to greetings from him.
He: A good morning to you my dear. Rise and shine.
I responded in a caring way.
He: Wow Glad you are up this early You gonna blog? The brain is still fresh.
Me: Yes! Pray and then blog.
Then a message from S.A.D.
He: My dear! Good morning. How are you this morning. Are you okay?
Me: I am very fine. Are you? I am thinking of going to fine police at airport and then going to the Louvre a little later. All after breakfast of course. So perhaps come and get your Sheikha about 10.
Then tested Blooingbrooke my great friend from Texas, met at the Louvre and gave her a copy of my book about the Tate Britain.
Me: Lots happening. The Louvre is considering my book for sale in their bookstore. I gave Rashid a copy and he is earnestly reading it. Says he shall finish at the end of the weekly
She: OMG your book is being considered.
Me: There os a great review of it on the web but the woman did something with her web site and I cannot retrieve it.
She: It is in incredible book.
Me: Thank you. And rather timeless as some of the paintings date back to the 16th century.
So this is being written from the breakfast table. I a photo of my healthy breakfast, put it on an Instagram story saying: I am having a healthy breakfast for the baby well not quite yet the babu. Also sent it to Rashid who shall give an hysterical response I am sure. I will blog about it with his permission of course.