Strange Song Comes To Mind; I Never Shall Marry; Thrice Married and Then Not; Sundry Defined; Wise Man Urges Caution; Comfort Defined and Found at the Marriott; Home with my Aggressive Self; Photo of Towel Turkey

I suppose it was one day by the JW Marriott pool that a strange song echoed through my mind. It was I Never Shall Marry and here are the lyrics.

They say that love’s a gentle thing
But it’s only brought me pain
For the only man I ever loved
Has gone on the morning train
I never will marry
I’ll be no man’s wife
I expect to live single
All the days of my life
When the train pulled out
The whistle blew with a long and lonesome moan
He’s gone, he’s gone like the morning dew
And left me all alone
I shall never marry
I’ll be no man’s wife
I expect to live single
All the days of my life.
Well there’s many a change in the winter wind
And a change in the cloud’s design
There’s many a change in a young man’s heart
But never a change in mine.
I never will marry
I’ll be no man’s wife
I expect to live single. All the days of my life.

There is a wonderful rendition on YouTube sung by Johnny Cash and Linda Rondstadt, use a little initiative and find it yourself.

Admittedly that is a strange song for me to identify with as I have had three marriages, but, it must be realized that we are talking, at the moment, about my current situation. When one converts, becoming a Muslim in one’s later life, all sins (and marriages are obviated. Therefore, technically, and under the faith, I have never been married. PHEW

Before my conversation to the faith I always told folks upon first meeting that I had been thrice married – that, and my age. Get it over with was my motto, no one could complain.
Hes: You have been married three times. Why did you not tell me? Good bye!
The same thing with my age.
He’s: You are 78 – that is old. Why did you not tell me? Goodbye.

I let everyone know in the very beginning that I am damaged goods, so to speak. It serves to immediately scare off the cowards. I do not view my three divorces as a failure – the failure was in marrying unsuitable men in the first place, however, when realizing the error – escaping. All of that made possible as there were no children to consider, no severing of a parental relationship for children in need of two parents. Two parents, at least, are needed for child rearing. It must be remembered that extended families were the norm until the conclusion of the WWII. (in Western society)

These days are radically different and I do occasionally entertain the thought of a first Muslim marriage for various and sundry reasons. Sundry is an interesting word, Its synonyms are varied, miscellaneous. Ass miscellaneous, assorted, mixed, diverse, diversified, motley, random; several, numerous, many, manifold, multifarious, multitudinous, legion; diverse.

A diverse, random and motley reason to be married for the ‘first’ time is that there is not a tradition of dating in the Islamic faith. Well, I suppose there might be dating but certain activities are forbidden until marriage. So if one were attracted to a man it would prove rather difficult to keep one’s hands off of him until he popped the question.

Very recently, I met an altogether very interesting man, texted Wise Man to tell him of my ‘find’.
I extolled his virtues – Wise Man opined in all of his wisdom.
He: Careful. Go slow.

Ordinarily, this might be wise advice. Going slow has led to the demise of several relationships – one very recently when it became apparent that the man was not, at all, who appeared to be. More about that later when I can write from safety. But in this instance the advice was not helpful – so I texted back.
Me: I have no choice but to go slow. And besides sex out of question because of faith. No idea how this works. None whatsoever. Wait until you hear his voice and accent -by the way. PHEW His name is (name withheld) by the way.

I shall see Wise Man next week, perhaps in person he could suggest a better game plan.

But realistically I see that marriage would get in the way, unless the poor man was very tolerant. Strange sleeping patterns, my need for solitary writing time coupled with my extreme sociability (when not writing) would drive any man insane.

In the midst of this writing this an example occurred. There was a knock on my hotel room door and two men blossomed forth. I had met them at the pool and they were great fun. Here on business from India with wives and children back home. One of them asked for my room number and I told him – not, at all thinking that he would come knocking. But it was late, I was ready for bed and moreover, I am certain that women are not to be entertaining men in their rooms in this Muslim country. I carefully explained the rules, they politely left, promising to see one another at the pool in the early hours. I cannot imagine how a husband would react to such a visit. Then another situation would occur because, when encountering children I get into serious play with them, ignoring everything and everyone else around me. How would that work? He alone and desolate? Therefore, I expect to live single the rest of my life. Or at least until asked. However, a Muslim woman can say NO to an offer of marriage, no matter from whom it comes.

Quite frankly I have other things to worry about. My life at the moment is in an utter turmoil and having a man’s arms around me would be most welcome. I leave this hotel tomorrow morning very early to return to California. Not the place of my dreams, but recently the place of my nightmares It is no place for a single Muslim woman to live for various and sundry reasons. Multitudinous and multifarious reasons.

I am so incredibly comfortable at the JW Marriott, in both senses of the word. One definition has the following synonyms: at one’s ease, relaxed, reassured, confident, secure, safe, serene, tranquil, unworried, contented, happy. Antonyms to this are: vulnerable, threatened, unsettled; tense. Another definition has the following synonyms: snug, warm, pleasant, enjoyable, agreeable, congenial, plush, well furnished; sheltered, secure, safe, restful, home-like; homely; comfy, snuggly.

I feel most snuggly, comfy, secure, safe, serene and tranquil at the moment. I laugh with staff saying that when the car comes to take me to the airport I shall cling to the concierge desk and say.
Me: I am not going! I like it here. Go away!
They: Alexis, it is just for a little while. After you go to California and kick ass you can come back to the UAE and live.
Me: Ok. I guess it will be fun to reassume my aggressive lawyer personality – they deserve the mean me.

It shall be needed. I return armed with nineteen days of being surrounded by care, humanity and respect – those are in short supply in Marin County at this present time.

Photograph is of my ‘present’ – my towel turkey given to me by the men from housekeeping. It has been an interesting morning, so far. As I conclude this blog I am dressed in an abaya and hijab, ready to go to Abu Dhabi. Then home to finalize packing. With MAD’s assistance bought a huge new suitcase which shall be filled with the summer clothes brought with me. Empty suitcases will accompany my return to California to be returned with clothes and treasures to accompany the next stage of my life.

Reminded myself that I do have the ability to adjust to my surroundings, no matter where they are or what has happened. When I came to Dubai – some nineteen days ago – I felt that a different situation would greet me. It did not and, for that, I am eternally grateful.

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