I Have Had a Fantastic Day Ending in a New Haircut; I Look the Same Now as Fifty Years Ago; Photos To Prove It Will Come Later; Scruffy Defined; Again a Tingly Head; Two Handsome Men Find Me Attractive; One Rubs My Head in Sheer Delight; Hallowe’en Jokes from Andy: Photos of Me in Towel, Me as Sheika and Avocado Toast

Began the day with breakfast at Kitchen 1 in the JW Marriot. It was most peaceful and serene as no one was there – lazy people – waiting until the rush began. Perhaps they enjoy the rush, thinking that they are where they are supposed to be because everyone else is there. It just means that they are standing in line for ages and getting tired food and tired waiters and cooks. But who cares? At this time of the morning it is peaceful for me and that is all that counts. Hahaha

Then it was off to the pool in the early morning hours. I always have so much fun when I am there. Always, always, always. Met Michael and we laughed as we always do. Then a group of men from India were in the pool. They are chemical engineers, doing agriculture and business. Here for a week of conferences (apparently). This was our conversation, taking place at the pool’s edge. One was taking a photo of another who was in the pool.
Me: Why are you taking a picture of him? I am much more attractive.
He: Come here and you can be in the picture.

So, of course, I did, I shall appear in photographs and their wives will ask them who I am.
She Theys: Who is she? Who is the woman in the photograph with you?
He Theys: She was an old lady from the USA – she is 78.
She Theys: She does not look it!!
He Theys: Look at her blog. She always tells the truth and she says she is 78. Why would I lie?

No plans for the day but I got hungry at about 10:30 so I went to my favorite French restaurant Le Farina on the ground floor of this hotel. I debated between coconut pancakes and avocado toast – texted MAD for advice, He was non responsive – the waitress advised avocado toast. It was an excellent choice and the best avocado toast I have ever tasted in my whole life.

Then to the concierge desk to inquire about a hair cut – my hair is beginning to look a bit scruffy. What is scruffy? It has the best of all synonyms: shabby worn, down at heel, shoddy, ragged, tattered, mangy, sorry, run down, disreputable; untidy, unkempt, bedraggled, messy, disheveled, ill-groomed, sleazy, seedy, slatternly, tatty, the worse for wear, scuzzy, grungy, yucky; grotty; raggedy. Antonyms: smart, tidy. So my short hair was looking a bit down at the heel, ragged, tattered, and mangy.
Me: Excuse me. Could you recommend a hair dressing salon as I need a hair cut.
He: There is one here at the hotel on the third floor.
Me: I did not know this! I will go there immediately!

So I did and had the best of experiences – the very best. My hair was washed in a most superb fashion. I have no feeling on the top of my head, a result of being hit by a motorcycle in London, the second day of my stay in 2014. The woman was so thorough so professional that, for the first time I could feel a tingling. My head became alive again It was thoroughly amazing. She massaged my neck and I realized the enormous tension I had been carrying (well, no wonder). She wrapped my head in a towel – a photograph of the too of us will accompany this blog.

Then a man from Jordan who well-equipped with scissors came to me and gave me the best haircut I have every achieved. I brought a photograph taken in 1967 sporting the style and manner I wished to return to. He worked a miracle. I have it! It is beautiful.

I went down to the lobby with the photograph of me in 1967 and the me of now, some fifty years later and it is truly amazing. Scores of people were amazed. I accosted a man with an English accent, who had grown up in Vancouver. We laughed – he lives in Dubai. He is 44 years old, and is a Muslim. We laughed, went to Le Farina and shared Covid stories over a glass of wine. (I have a wine exemption from the Muslim prohibition against drinking, he joined me to be polite – I guess). He said he would text me, was exhausted from his travels. He seems most successful – diamonds, gold, multi media. We did so laugh – the handsome waiters in the restaurant were jealous of him they said – I had previously come to the restaurant alone.

Later in the evening I went to the pool At night it is cool, friendly and there are no screaming children. I sat with three men who were not discussing boring business. One, a thirty-three year old was celebrating his birthday. He decided that I was his birthday present. He was amazed by my hair – kept rubbing my head in delight, much to the embarrassment of his two male companions (both from the UK).
They: Stop rubbing her head, it is embarrassing us!

I was laughing so hard I could not speak. There are many women in this hotel, scantily dressed in high heeled shoes getting no attention from men at all. I was modestly attired in the Muslim fashion getting a head rub from a handsome thirty-three year old man who had other things in mind.
Me: Sorry but I am a Muslim woman and cannot go to bed with a man who is not my husband.
He: I will marry you!
Me: You are being silly! Are you a Muslim.?
He: No, but I will become one.

He and his friends left for a celebratory dinner at a hotel Thai restaurant. He left me his room number and asked me to call. I did not and shall not but it was most amusing.

I return to the USA reluctantly on Hallowe’en of all days!! Home to problems and horrors – a decidedly different environment than the one here where respect is given and taken. A place where I can speak to people of the faith, where humanity is practiced. Not by everyone of course, but by so many people.

But again Andy Borowitx provides some humor. This time about Hallowe’en. It is about a topic known only to the USA, but most amusing. “Signalling his opposition to a storied tradition, Senator Joe Manchin said that he will agree to Halloween only if candy is completely eliminated. The West Virginia senator, arguing that the “big Halloween giveaway is over,” said that billions are wastefully spent on candy each year.”

As usual Andy saves his best for last. “People seem to think that children going from house to house to get candy for free is fun,” Manchin said. “I call it something else: socialism.”
Manchin’s neighbors said that his opposition to candy on Halloween is long-standing. “Kids skip his house, because he just gives out coal,” one neighbor said.”

How priceless is that? “The kids skip his house, because he just gives out coal”

I return, jet lagged, on the afternoon of Hallowe’en. I will not give out coal. I will hide under my four poster bed and wait until it is over. Will re-emerge and get on with the task of leaving the USA for good – to live in a Muslim country. How unlikely!!!

The photographs are ones of me at Amaro Ladies Salon and of my new abode in Abu Dhabi. The young man pictured says that he is the Sheik and I am the Sheika – we laugh and laugh. I shall be well taken care of at my new abode but have to get out of the United States first. Also a photograph of the most delicious avocado toast ever encountered.

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