I have not blogged for days – usually when I do not get my daily fix, fretfulness descends. Fretfulness is the feeling of not being centered. Fret is a state of a state of anxiety or worry. Used in a sentence : Why would anyone get themselves in a fret over something so simple? Synonyms are also descriptive: be anxious, feel uneasy, be distressed, be upset, upset oneself, concern oneself, feel unhappy; agonize, anguish, sorrow, sigh, pine, brood, mope; fuss, make a fuss, complain, grumble, whine, eat one’s heart out; informal stew, feel peeved. So if not writing I am grumbling and feel peeved. But not so much in the past few days of non communication. In part it is due to my activity on Instagram, which is a social media forum that is markedly different than this blog. Purposefully I receive no feedback on this blog – my blog master protects me. It was a decision made at its inception. The only way I know it is read by getting my statistics done on an irregular basis. They are always reported on the blog – go to the search engine and type statistics and they will pop up. There is not the immediacy of communication as emails are sent to computer guru Chris who exists in a UK time zone.
Video is a possibility on Instagram, so there are regular chats which begin: “This is Alexis”
There are certainly down sides to Instagram – scammers and bottom fish that come on to vulnerable women and take their money. At least four or five came onto me but needless to say no money passed from my hands to theirs It is very doubtful that a relationship commenced on Instagram ever comes to fruition but there might be rare occasions. Definitely enjoy the attentions of the Ozzie guy but it is going nowhere. Here is a recent conversation:
Me: Could you arrange to be a Muslim?
He: Me Muslim?? My Italian family would have me wear concrete boots and dump me in Sydney Harbor. LOL
Me: But if you were a Muslim you would good to Paradise forever, if you were a good boy, And I will be there if I keep on being a good girl. So it would not be necessary for me to travel to Australia. Hmmmm. Hmmmmm Think it over! LOL
Now an Australian visit is not out of the question. There is another Instagram pal, Emily who lives there. I have always wanted to travel to Australia after reading Bill Bryson’s book – to follow in his footsteps. And last, not quite least, I have several Dryburgh relatives that live there. Not met them. I have a cousin who lived in Australia during her marriage and we travel well together. So it is not an impossible dream. Who knows? Despite numerous invitations Qatar is not a possibility due to the immense inattention paid to a vaccination program. Have further thoughts about the Emir of Qatar’s dropping the ball – so to speak. That is funny because of the location of the World Cup 2022 and the Asian Games of 2030. I do have a rather magnificent theory based on my experience with men. But do need to refine my thinking before emerging with profound knowledge. Perhaps a consultation with Wise Man is in order to supplement my own wisdoms.
I was OFF Instagram for about a year – did not close out but did not participate one iota. I do have 507 followers – not bad for someone who does not really give a shit. The other day a wonderful poem came my way. “My Foreign Mastruz filled with milk. I love you and need you. It came from a far away place . That in fact I have barely heard of. A fascinating smile, And a beauty in that lock. With a foreign accent Such complicated phrases. I do not know what I was talking about. But it blew me away My foreign. No I understand almost nothing. But I am in love. What matters is my heart. I don’t forget the day we understood one another through the language of the heart. I am learning a thousand words, phrases. For you when you come back. I love you. I need you. Come to me soon.”
Now I admit to being excited when I first read that. It could be me that is the subject of such attention. I come from Canada which is far away and it could be he barely knew of it. My accent is foreign to him but not to me – that is always the way. Hahaha It was an extremely unique meeting which ended in a fist bump with mutual understanding taking place. However, this went to several others – perhaps over a thousand. Realism has set in. And then, believe me, I am not going there soon. Nope. He would have to come here. He would have to abdicate. I have no desire to be Wallace Simpson as the Duke of Windsor was most unhappy if one is to believe The Crown. Lia Williams played Wallace admirably. I was a special fan of hers in London, we did enjoy a friendship. So fear not all, I am fine. Admittedly temporarily smitten – but landed on my feet. Smitten has such amazing synonyms: infatuated with, besotted with, in love with, love-struck by, head over heels in love with, hopelessly in love with, obsessed with, enamored of, very attracted to, very taken with, devoted to, charmed by, captivated by, enchanted by, enthralled by, bewitched by, beguiled by, under someone’s spell; informal bowled over by, swept off one’s feet by, struck on, crazy about, mad about, wild about, very keen on, gone on, sweet on, into; British informal potty about; North American informal twitterpated by; literary ensorcelled by. ANTONYMS indifferent. So I might have been bowled over by, mad about, wild about, bewitched by on a temporary basis. But no longer enamored, taken with nor charmed by. I am not counting on seeing the whites of his eyes in the near future;
The photograph is me in a face mask gifted by Kim at the end of the blow dry. I walked home and spoke to a fellow resident.
Me: Look at my new face mask. It is so pretty and I can breathe.
He: Yes you can. I can see your mouth.
Me: You want to kiss it.
He: No I am married.
Me: I cannot imagine I said that. I have no filter. There was a joke. What is the difference between Ms. McBride and a coffee pot? The answer was: The coffee pot has a filter.
I am a Muslim and cannot kiss you. So do not fret.
We then had a marvelous conversation about languages and travel and my huge statistics. He has worked all over the world, He speaks eight languages, but not Arabic. Told him of my blog statistics.
Me: Only one in Zambia. But probably that is 100% of the people that read English in Zambia.
He: Not so! I worked in Zambia and there are many, many English speaking Zambians.
Me: Well I, therefore, will have to work on getting my numbers up in Zambia.
There is another Instagram conversation with a woman who followed me previous in days of olde. We were speaking of negative people, those that drain your life.
She: yupppp leave those people in the pandemic, Queen
Me: I have but unfortunately that did not die.
She: omg hahaha yeah I feel the same way. Waiting for the day
Me: I did become incredibly self reliant during the days of the lockdown. Well – not exactly. Relied on one man – not a romantic interest. He turned into slime and no longer around but he did keep me safe.
She: ugh Men always turn into slime.
Me: Yeah but they are SO replaceable.
She: yes for sure, That is why we always keep a few in the line up.
Me: Loved our conversation. I will put it on the blog. Protected your anonymity but could spell the beans if you want.
Photo is me in mask with blown dry hair. I am still fasting during Ramadan. Saw PCP yesterday, he is most pleased with me for many reasons. To be divulged.