This is going to be a strange blog – well stranger than usual. Haha.
As I write, at this exact moment, what is planned is a point by point bulletin with no cohesion as there are some situations which need greater explanation. A wrong impression may have been left, quite accidentally. So this is correction time.
The first is the failed marriage with the Pakistani man. Muslim women have free will, more so than their male counterparts. I could have met the guy and said No and that would have been fine with Allah. Although marriages might seem to Western eyes to be coercive, they are not. Certainly it would have been a NO when the situation was revealed to me – in fact it was a NO in the beginning as it is too risky to travel to Pakistan these days. So there is no feeling of rejection – now, some anger as the father of the intended was just using me with the idea of having his son discard me after the green card was achieved – but revenge is being heaped upon him from other sources, so I can let it go. A vast feeling of relief is the emotional state and it was a learning experience. No husband from Pakistan is being contemplated, not now, nor in the future. Too complicated and there is a need to stay right here within walking distance to all of my major wants and needs – doctors, hair stylists, mani and pedi person, bank, Rite-Aid and and increasingly, restaurants and the other joys of shops at Town Center. The Container Store is an absolute treat, they have everything it seems. From lavender sachets to help defeat the clothess moths to a microwave container which allows the cooking of eggs for breakfast sandwiches. (And somehow I get a discount).
There will now be a transition to the clothes moths. Sometime last week my apartment seemed like the landing strip of either Heathrow or Frankfurt airports (they used to be the world’s busiest, who knows what is going on these days). Winged creatures were flying about. I called in the marvellous Maintenance Man who called a terminator guy and the problem was diagnosed. Clothes moths was the diagnoses and the remedy was to wash everything fabric in hot water and traps (which were provided). But the remedy has been totally ineffective even though it was augmented by a great deal of self help from the Internet. Freezing gets rid of the larvae better than hot water. The ironing of clothes kills the larvae clothes it is very expensive to have to go to thee dry cleaners, it can be avoided. (I have SO many clothes). Clean out drawers with vinegar and then place lavender and other natural product sachets in drawers. (Those purchased at the Container Store). But even with all of that the winged creatures fly about. But they are getting more passive and lay about on walls, and baseboards, occasionally rugs. So I murder them and do a count. Yesterday 42 were squished. The good news is that it is not contrary to the Islamic faith to preform this form of genocide, as they are clearly pests and have no useful function. Phew.
It is actually put me in touch with the fact that, during most of my life, I have been surrounded by parasitic people who served no useful function – neither to me nor anyone. But worry not former friends and relatives, I shall not murder you with great gusto, there might be repercussions. Justifiable homicide would be a defence in a court of law (so handy it is to have been an attorney) but it would take a lot of effort, not worth it and just bring up bad memories.
Repercussion can be the word of the day: an unintended consequence of an event or act. Synonyms are: consequence, result, effect, outcome, by-product; reverberation, backlash, ripple, shock wave; aftermath, footprint, fallout. So a fallout, an aftermath, a backlash, a by-product and a consequence of murdering people who harmed me by being a parasite would be, at the very least, a lengthly court battle and serving some time. I do not think so. Now if only Trump had my powers of rationality and an understanding that there are consequences to bad acts. The reason why he , and does, not is because of the terrible rearing practices imposed by his father. He got everything he wanted as a child and there were no consequences for bad behaviour. How do I know all of that? Learned it from Wise Man as my recent life included two prime examples of atrocious rearing habits: Joo Kim Tiah and the Crown Prince of Dubai. I sure know how to pick them – well they both had money. Joo Kim is now following in Trump’s footsteps and declaring bankruptcy – when I met him in Vancouver, he was a multibillionaire of great renown.
Now, neither the Crown Prince of Dubai (nor his father nor City State) has declared bankruptcy but the effects of the pandemic will probably lead to that. The economy of Dubai is not diversified, relies solely on tourism and their airlines. Whereas, the economy of Qatar is most diversified – there has been some effect but it is minimal (so says the Emir but he did not provide any figures – he does not have to I guess).
So back to the clothing moths. I am not a victim and do hate victimhood (more about that later). I left a further maintenance request (in writing) saying that the problem with the moths still existed, that an exterminator needed to be called but not the same company as the representative does not appear to know what he is doing. Perhaps a clothes moth specialist needs to be called in. Hahaha. Personal Driver and I laugh that we should open up a business specializing in Clothes Moth Removal, however, it does seem that I would be doing most of the work and that is not particularly appealing to me. Well, I would have to go on line, Google everything, speak in a charming way to helpful staff members in stores and then pay for the supplies. That, is most of the work, as I see it.
The relationship between ‘Care Giver’ and Alexis McBride is changing, therefore, he is being reduced to his Personal Driver status. It does describe what he does and, really, all he ever did. He has been MOST, undeniably superbly helpful to me during the down days of this pandemic but with my move to Marin with resultant proximity to everything and everybody, transportation is not the necessity it was, hand holding (not literally but figuratively) not needed because I am out in the world to a greater extent and surrounded by supportive individuals. I can now walk some distance whereas before with knee surgery and sciatica, it was impossible. He and his family laughingly called me Baby – but this Baby is growing up.
Now a formal announcement. I decided to cease the wearing of a head scarf or hat. A covered head has two purposes – neither of which are required (or worked in the first place). One is to mark the woman as a Muslim woman – that did not work. It is entirely conjecture but people may have thought that I had breast cancer and the chemotherapy caused my hair to fall out. Conjecture the second word of the day. The definition: an opinion or conclusion formed on the basis of incomplete information. Used in a sentence: conjectures about the newcomer were many and varied. Synonyms are: guess, speculation, surmise, fancy, notion, belief, suspicion, presumption, assumption, theory, hypothesis, postulation, supposition; inference, extrapolation, projection; approximation, estimate, rough calculation, rough idea; guesswork, guessing, surmising, imagining, theorizing; guesstimate, shot in the dark. So do admit that it is a shot in the dark thinking people may think that my covered head is a result of no hair; but in the long run, who cares?
The other reason for wearing a head covering is to discourage men – that the sight of female hair causes attraction to take place in situations where it should not. But that has not worked f either. Guys are still coming onto me, those of the young and handsome persuasion, head covering or not. I tactfully tell them (twice this week).
Me: You are an attractive man but I must inform you that I am a Muslim woman and cannot have sex outside of marriage and it must be to a Muslim man.
He: But cannot I give you a ride to your apartment?
Me; No thanks, I can easily walk and it would not be fair to you.
That conversation actually did take place. The photograph is Alexis (aka Ayla) after a blow dry by Kim, just this very morning. No hat, it was removed for the shampoo and blow dry, then not put in place for the walk home. One must start (or stop) somewhere.