Today a certain man, who shall remain nameless, declared that his admiration was based upon what he called my panache.
Me: I love that word. I do not know it – me of all people. I am going to look it up and put it on my blog!
He: Thank you Alya, that is a compliment.
Me: I am so impressed with you. English is not your first language but your vocabulary is impressive, as well you grasp complex concepts and catch my strange innuendos. You do not inherit these gifts from me – as at the moment you read the blog but have not for years and back then only read once or twice when you were mentioned – apparently in a derogatory fashion. I was ( justifiably) angry but your were not named, so I am unable to use the search engine to discover (yet again) your wrongs.
For some reason he got in touch with me after an absence of about two and a half years. Why I do not know, guess I might find out some day (or not). This has been a very long introduction to your daily vocabulary lesson. Panache, its definition is flamboyant confidence of style or manner, The most gorgeous synonyms: flamboyance, confidence, self-assurance, style, stylishness, flair, elan, dash, flourish, verve, zest, spirit, brio, éclat, vivacity, vigour, gusto, animation, liveliness, vitality, enthusiasm, energy; pizzazz, oomph, zip, zing. Hmmm, He thinks I have pizzazz, oomph, elan, flan, dash, flourish, spirit, vigour and animation. How could a woman remain angry at a man (no matter his sins) when he comes back with those synonyms? This is my word to him, innuendo, its synonyms show how difficult it is for an individual who was not originally English speaking being able to pick up on and respond to an implication, hint, suggestion, intimation, overtone, undertone, whisper, allusion, nuance, reference, imputation, aspersion. .
By the way, his permission was obtained for entry into the blog as long as he remains anonymous. Almost everyone in this blog remains anonymous as it is one thing to invade my own privacy but quite another to invade someone else’s. Another advantage to this man is that he is super safe as he works in a far away land and, with this pandemic, who knows if it will ever it be possible to see him. Proactive Alexis volunteered to compose a pdf advising him how to keep safe. It is copied below.
A GUIDE TO AVOIDING THE CORONAVIRUS
I hate to admit this but rather than beginning the morning with my promised PDF instead I wrote the blog. I must be forgiven, after all writing to one (you) if fine but I can write to thousands. What would you have done? So here is what I said in blog and is copied here:
During this hibernation period I sleep like a bear. Hours and hours and hours. It works wonders for the immune system, hence one of the best things a person can do fo themselves. Type immune system into the search engine of this blog and you shall find about 25 articles, almost all scientifically researched. The plan was to rescue a friend, actually in South Africa, sending him tips on how to keep safe. But the task is simplified upon the discovery of the accessibility of already written wisdoms. But here goes for the rest of it, meant for you. .
Wash your hands
You are out in the world – so AT LEAST five times a day, more probably. Saw a video about how to do it. Use bar soap and warm water, Go between fingers and up to elbow and do it for a long time. Guide is to sing Happy Birthday twice. I do Happy Birthday to you, You live in a zoo. You look like a monkey and you smell like one too. More interesting than the usual version. Then dry hands with paper towel and use it when getting out of the bathroom door.
Wear a face mask – invest in a cloth one as it is easier to breathe and it can be uncontaminated by washing in warm or hot water and then drying probably in dryer. It can serve more than one function as people will shy away from you and that is what you want, social distancing and all.
Develop an obnoxious personality, then people will shy away from you for sure. The easiest way to social distance.
Do not know your living situation but do fear for you. I live alone, solo, so am safe. You may be living in communal housing, in close quarters.. That is dangerous but do not know if you have an alternative.
Keep up your immune system
MOST IMPORTANT! Read first article when you use search engine of blog – it is the most incisive and science driven. Many of the other 25 entries are good but that one is the best. Laughter, joy, and calm are the most important tools to keeping yourself healthy and alive. Not a bad way to live.
My secret weapon is the Islamic faith for many reasons. It does boost the immune system as it fills one with hope, erases the fear of death and provides inner peace and happiness. I guess I could provide you with some clues on how to convert but only if you are interested.
That is it (pretty well). Hope this finds you well and that you do not get it too late. That would be a real drag. .
He: Thanks for taking time out to type every word. I appreciate it.
Me: Thanks luv! I am a super fast typist This iPhone stuff with one finger takes forever.
So a great deal of Saturday was spent ‘conversing’ with this man, to both of our delight. Most unlikely, Extremely unlikely. It was raining outside and so ‘speaking’ to a man across the world (in strange intimacy) was a good way to spend the day. It was fun, it would be for anyone, but particularly for a seventy-seven year old woman.
The photograph pictures another aspect of my life. Hugging my four poster bed wearing a a gorgeous Pakistani dress made expressly for me in Pakistan. Care Giver’s Wife and Daughter spent two and a half months returning with gifts for me. I am blessed. Most unlikely. Extremely unlikely, particularly for a seventy- sevenyear old woman. I giggled with my Canadian cousin by e phone chatting about my new found religion, my life and the man spoken of in early paragraphs of this blog. She knew of him, remembering that he had children. We laughed.
Me: How unlikely for this to happen to a woman born in Saskatchewan.
She: Very unlikely! Please remember I was born in Saskatchewan as well.
Me: Brag, brag, brag. .
I had sent her a picture of the screen prior to it being shown on the blog. Receiving admiration I promised to leave it to her upon my death. She expressed fear when she learned that many would see the blog and make claims upon it.
She: I am afraid I will not get the screen, you will give it to someone else. .
Me: I am a woman who keeps her word. I will inform the trustee tomorrow of the gift. But remember, you will have to outlive me, and is that likely?
We laughed and laughed and laughed. Her family is well, her spirits are upbeat. So, all in all, a great Saturday, although living in self isolation, home shelter or, as I say, being in solitary confinement for a crime that I did not commit.