Andy Borowitz in his amazing way did it again. This: In an unexpected turn of events for the former New York mayor, a poll of legal experts has determined that Rudolph Giuliani is no longer the worst lawyer in America. According to the law professor who supervised the poll. Davis Logsdon, the University of Minnesota Law School, Giulian’s dethronement from the worst-lawyer championship was all the more shocking because his claim to the title had remained unchallenged for so long. Giuliani had faced worthy competition from the likes of Michael D. Cohen and Michael Avenatti and dispatched them with ease,” Logsdon said. “But this new challenger left Rudy in the dust.” The new titleholder as the nation’s worst lawyer, who won in a nearly unanimous vote, is so egregious that he many cause some legal experts to reassess Giuliani’s career as an attorney. “Compared to our country’s new worse lawyer, Rudy demonstrated the utmost respect for the Constitution and the rule of law,” Logsdon argued. Reached in the makeup room at Fox News where he was about to make an on-air appearance, Giuliani took news of his ouster philosophically. “I had a good run,” he said.
This is, again priceless. I thought for years that the world worst attorneys were collected in Marin County Counsel’s Office (where I was employed for over twenty years). Of course, they were the bosses – THE County Counsel – all men of course. They were pretty bad – the whole lot of them. But in my usual subtle fashion – shall not call them by name. I guess I could think up nick names but they are not worth the trouble. I do love the phrase: “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” Definitely, the exploration of the proverb took place: “ The popular expression “revenge is a dish best served cold” suggests that revenge is more satisfying if enacted when unexpected or long feared, inverting traditional civilized revulsion toward “cold-blooded” violence.” Where did this expression come from? “This expression originated in the 1800s from French. The idea behind this is that revenge is more satisfying when one has had time to prepare vengeance that is well-planned, long-feared, or unexpected.’ Why do I seek and deserve revenge? Because they did not provide the tools for me to excel, they devalued me and my contributions, they evaluated a woman who did little or no work and lied about her work habits. Oh well! I am returning to Marin to live and did need to get this off my plate. What does this mean? “Can I take something off your plate?” That’s a polite and empathetic way of offering to do something without seeming threatening. You don’t want to steal a job or a responsibility from that other person.”
I do admit to angry with the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia – why not??? He killed and dismembered a journalist, it is a fact. There is a video on You Tube, watch it if you dare. He has never been punished or called to task, well except for me who issued him a warning to repent, believe and perform a charitable act. He has not done it and so could be zapped (not a word in the Quran) How embarrassing, Royalty having to be put down by an old lady, born in Saskatchewan of MOST humble birth. Yes, s, most humble birth. Look what I did with my life? And you???? I was born into a poverty, but none the less was able to overcome such circumstances by the ago of 24. I went from lower, class to upper class because of my own efforts, I graduated from the University of Alberta when only 10% of women attended University and then, I married a Doctor – so I did it. Hardly anyone in my massive extended material and paternal families did that. (University and doctor marrying) I did that . Divorced the first husband but went to law school at night while working full time. Hence, have sufficient retirement income to live comfortably, having the courage to reject multibillionaires which have appeared in my life during the past three years. I do not need income from this blog which is one reason it is so popular – ads do not flicker through making reading impossible.
I do find this amusing. Al Jazzers has these ‘words of warning’ “Al Jazeera is funded in whole or in part by the Qatar government.” It is dizzying to read with jumbles of ads flickering on and off. Everyone knows that the one thing the Emir of Qatar knows how to do is make money, fortunes in clever, diversified ways. Would be interested to see an El Jazeera profit and loss statement – that going to happen? Nope.
But onto something less serious. When packing (such hell) I came across an interesting ‘book” which shall be pictured. It is the Writer’s Block Book and so funny. As I say to any and all:
Me: I do not have writer’s block, I have writers’s diarrhea
Alter Ego: You do, Alexis. It is amazing to me that you are able to contain yourself and write once every two days instead of every day.
Me: Hahaha I am amazing all right. it is an effort but freeing. The move is probably helping with all of the chores, almost completed. The time spent not writing does allow other avenues of pursuit which we will address later.
So here are some rather funny ‘suggestions’ from The Writer’s Block: 786 Ideas to Jump-Start Your Imagination.
Write about a near death experience. (Well that does not sound like fun. Besides, I had one, hit by a motorcycle in London on September 13, 2014 – have explored the topic extensively)
Describe your most embarrassing on-the-job experience. (Again, hardly an uplifting topic, probably the most embarrassing thing was to have to show up at work, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year.)
Lust (Just one word I would think it would be better to experience it rather than write about it, but that is just me.)
Fertility (Again, just.a word. I have spent a lifetime avoiding fertility (having no children on purpose) so that would be a difficult jump-start to imagination.
Describe a time when you’ve settled an argument between two close friends. (What is this? How can to close friends be having an argument in the first place and why should I intervene in the second place. Let them duke it out, it just might be amusing.)
Describe a character who sees a phone number on a rest room wall. Describe what happens when he or she calls it. ( Who would want to write about a creep like that, pretty desperate if you ask me. Personally I have Never, in my whole life, ever called anyone who puts their telephone number on a restroom stall. And I have occasionally been desperate – very occasionally actually)
Describe the most boring job you have ever suffered through. (Now that is going to make for some very boring writing, if you ask me).
Flirting (Again, one word. Well I have had much experience at that through the years. But now am on the sidelines because, as a Muslim lady, I can only have sex with my husband and I am currently not married. Not exactly sure how I am going to get married if unable to flirt)
Pillow Talk (Two words but not sure that I would want to share those intimate words and deeds with strangers. Besides, at this point in time with the pandemic, and all, it would be necessary to rely on memories.
Write an argument between two characters that begins in bed. (Now this has some possibilities I guess. “You stole all of the covers from my side of the bed.” “No I did not!” “Yes you did.” I guess not a wonderful possibility.)
The photograph is the ‘block” so that you can see that I did not make this whole story up.