Becoming Practical; No Longer Enamoured; Hilarious Comments from CPI and Former London Lover; We Have Got To Stop Meeting Like This; Too Few Sheep; Ending With a Stereotypical Joke

There has been an immense change in my inner life. I have become practical. In other words: realistic sensible, down-to-earth, pragmatic, businesslike, matter-of-fact, reasonable, rational, commonsensical, hard-headed, no-nonsense, with one’s/both feet on the ground;. Not sure what caused this switch, becoming a no-nonsense, pragmatic and realistic individual. One aspect is the wisdom of CPI . There is a poem, I believe written about me. That last two lines are as follows:
She has a happy face, wide eyes and she is charming
Her Waist, Breasts Are Like Fruits of the Fig Tree.

CPI was most matter-of-fact.
She: Now you have me laughing – breasts like figs!!! Not terribly original, but the funny part is that ripe figs ooze and that is not quite so appealing, not to mention medically alarming. I hope not!!
Me: Now you have me dying in laughter! Come to think of it, not romantic at all.

New readers may not know but CPI is my high school and Uni friend. She edited my book on the Tate Britain which was written two and a half years ago. Her recent contribution to this blog questioned the urination habits of Arab men in their traditional white garbs. She spoke of this in the recent email.
She: My peeing Arabians stem from long standing complaints about the lineups for women’s washrooms – it seems almost like revenge. I once counted 13 different motions to even get in position with snaps, zippers, tights etc. and then you have to do it all in reverse. Then came jumpsuits and nudity. And now gender free washrooms/change rooms are controversial.
Me: That reminds me of events in the Joo Kim Tiah days. Mott 32 had a genderless loo with stalls but a common area for washing one’s hands. In the early days I walked in and there he was, it was rather startling but I said: “We have got to stop meeting like this.” Then on another occasion he was offering a tour to a group, again I was startled and said while laughing “We have got to stop meeting like this.” But the best time was when he was being filmed along the wall to the loo and I accidentally came upon him and the film crew. I about died laughing saying “We have got to stop meeting like this.” Needless to say, it interrupted the filming.

So, as you can see, CPI and I have hilarious email conversations. I expressed concerns to her that I was being manipulated into humanizing the Crown Prince. This was her hilarious response to that query.
She: Who do you feel is manipulating you? If it is the CP to humanize him, he is beyond humanizing – no one can have that much money, engage in all those dangerous sports, write, kiss that many camels and still appeal to Mohammed Average without some deification. It seems to me that if you know of the manipulation you can counter-manipulate if you wish. And if you continue to write only what you believe, are you still being manipulated? I would think not.
Me: I wish you were here so that you could hear my howls of laughter. Particularly the Mohammed Average moniker. And you are right, I write what I believe and know to be true as is my customary style.

I did send you yesterday’s blog before it was posted. She did not have a funny response to that situation saying:
She: Who believes what comes out of China? If you could have found a picture of the wet market …. Enough to scare anyone in the West.

Another email from Former London Lover and Present Friend. He joked about RTA.
He: Good luck with your cradle snatching ; it will take your mind off the operation to have your sense of fun tickled . Or something.

Me; I dumped him. It was just to bothersome and he was not terribly reliable.

So I am manless – at least for today. Anne disappeared from my life as well. Our last communication concerned the Crown Prince – I had expressed some negative feelings and he was most offended, for some reason. Oh well – we largely communicated on Instagram and that is no longer in my vocabulary.

This blog will end with a joke from Former London Lover and Present Friend;
a stereotype joke
A scotsman, frenchman and a jew are resting after some hard exercise.
The frenchman says, i am hot and tired i must have a drink of wine
The scotsman syas i m hot and tire di must have a drink of whisky.
The Jew says , I am hot and tired, i must have type 1 diabetes

But his email began with this hilarious statement:
He:Sorry to hear that you will not be going to the middle east; perhaps you didnt offer enough sheep? for the bride price. Not that i have prejudices though you should hear me on the subject of belgians ; and as for italians, never mind serbo croats, . we spent a happy drunken evening with some dutch friends swapping national stereo types and found that, mostly, we concurred with the belgians generally agreed to be at the bottom of most scales.
Me: I would think that the Chinese would be at the bottom of most scales, particularly recent.y. I think we should just bomb China – but I cannot be held accountable because I do not have an atomic bomb, nor even a water bomb.

So this blog is definitely a contrast to the one of yesterday and the day before. It is definitely not politically correct.

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