Speaking of Sass; A Found Document Written in June of 2017 to Joo Kim Tiah; Sass and Impudence Defined; Muscular Arms

Faithful readers will know that sassing is a way of life for me. I sass very rich and very important men – beginning in June of 2017. Apparently I applied for the position of General of Sass and Softness – Joo Kim was into Generals, it was rather complicated but it had to do with authority and the running of his business. I cannot recall the details at the moment, but here is a document entitled a Definitive Definition of Sass Part One. I do laugh when I read it. So Joo Kim is in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada at this time and I am for some reason, or another, in San Rafael, California, USA.

“This study is taking place in San Rafael, California in a Hilton Hotel. I NEVER watch television but nonetheless it is on and tuned to a wonderful program called The World’s Worse Cooks. It is a ridiculously funny program and is preparing me for the fact that in sixteen days I shall have a kitchen. Although I usually do not multitask I guess I am because I am working on the definite definition of sass at the present time.

I shall begin with the strangest definition I found. To thoroughly appreciate this you need to appreciate the fact that 100% Scottish. All of my ancestors on both sides of the family come from Scotland. You may be 100% Malaysian, I do not know. Are you?

This is the strange definition. “A Northern Scottish word meaning the period before you go out with a person. For example:
Person 1: Are you and Lisa sassing?
Person 2: Yes, we’ve been flirting a lot recently. I think I might ask her out.
Person 1: Go for it man.

What makes this more than just unusual is that we can be said to be in a sass period, but to the fact that we have never gone “out”. I do admit, however, that I did not have that in mind when I applied for the position of General of Sass and Softness.

The definition of sass that is most to my liking is this one: a sass is a chugged out girl, devoid of colour, white even, often in a cheerleading uniform uttering the word “pshaw” I do not know what chugged means but the cheerleading uniform and ‘pshaw’ I can definitely relate to.

I just found out that my USA cell phone plan is not working so I have to go and solve the problem. I do not have Generals, or even soldiers, for that matter.”

I almost faint when I discovered and read that. He was a multibillionaire, a man of much status and power. He was so well respected – even revered by all around him and there I was, sassing him. I sassed the General Manager of the Trump International Hotel and Tower as well. The hotel staff were amazed and could not believe my impudence, which is the same as insolence, effrontery, cheek, audacity, temerity, brazenness, shamelessness, immodesty, pertness; presumption, presumptuousness, disrespect, insubordination, irreverence, flippancy, bumptiousness, brashness, boldness; rudeness,,informal freshness, cockiness, brass neck, sauce, sauciness, lip, mouth, face, nerve; North American informal sassiness, chutzpah, nerviness.

So definitely I have a great deal of chutzpah and cheek and pertness and flippancy. Faithful readers will know that it continues and, if anything, I am being audacious with a man of much greater power, influence, money. I do not know but this is sort of a mess. I do laugh.

So what happened between Joo Kim Tiah and Alexis McBride? People told him lies about me and he would believe them, not just once but three times. He doubted my veracity which is so important to me. Veracity is truth, accuracy, accurateness, correctness, exactness, precision, preciseness, realism, authenticity, faithfulness, fidelity; reputability, honesty, sincerity, trustworthiness, reliability, dependability, scrupulousness, ethics, morality, righteousness, virtuousness, decency, goodness, probity. ANTONYMS falsity.

After the vitriolic email and the severance of communication I learned that Joo Kim would go to meetings and talk about me, a great deal of the time. How was I supposed to know that? I cannot read minds. Why was he not more direct with me? I was absolutely astonished to hear that – but I guess – the soft eyes gave it away. He would look at me with such adoring eyes whenever he say me. Oh well, it was not to be.

It is so interesting, Alix Residences, being built in Malaysia has, as its slogan, Brazenly Authentic. Look it up on Google. I became tremendously angry at Joo Kim, and, an email told him where to go adding the phrase, and the horse you rode in on. With that wealth and the fact he had been raised by nannies – no one had said NO to him, his whole life. So that was IT, he refuses direct communication with me although, of course, he knows how to reach me. It seems to me that he is being a cowardly lion, and I laugh. He is apparently back in Vancouver, according to CPI. It is a short flight Joo Kim and you do have a private jet. Just one and not an airlines.

For some strange reason I have undertaken sassing another man. Why? Why? Why? Who now you ask – the Sultan, SSS, Fazza, the Crown Prince of Dubai. A man who also I met in a hotel and looked at me with soft eyes. November of 2019, in London England. It is so improbable but true.

An interesting thing happened during water aerobics this morning. I looked at my arms and saw that I had well defined muscles. I was rather amazed, never noticed that before. It will mean that I can wear sleeveless dresses and tops when I go to Dubai to recuperate from my left knee replacement. Oops, perhaps another portent.

March looms, the month of my left knee replacement. PHEW. I am beginning to be in pain, but I will be fine. An incredibly competent Dubai Doctor suggested a brace and a painkilling medication that is most effective. I want to get the surgery over with so I can begin my life again, free of pain and immobility. Yes, indeed I do. Who knows what the future will hold? I am very brave and strong and sassy.

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