Anne and I had the best conversation about relationships. What is so interesting is that we agree on so many things and that is most improbably considering the following.
I am 76. He is 39.
I am 100% of Scottish descent; he has a mother from the Philippines and an Arab father.
He is gay; I am straight.
He is married, in a committed relationship that has lasted 17 years. I am thrice divorced. My third marriage lasted for 18 years but I should have left sooner. I stuck around for the grandkids – there were eight of them. They are no longer in my life. More about that later.
He lives outside of Sacramento; I live in San Francisco itself.
I am not sure who initiated this conversation, but total agreement was reached. A relationship between two people should be one based on wanting to be with the person, not needing the other person. Too often, women enter into relationships because of need. They need the financial support, the need to have a father for their children, they need to have someone around because they fear being alone. It is not altogether their fault – most societies pressure women to have children, in most societies women do not have the financial resources that men do. They also very seldom have role models of independent women who exist alone and on their own. What happens is that at some point the husband (or lover) begins to feel used, economically or for their sperm. So subtle hostilities enter into the relationship and it is not a happy place for anyone to be – not happy for the man, not happy for the woman, not happy for the children.
Whereas, if two people are in the relationship, not based on need, but because be with each other the relationship will flourish. What is flourish? Its definition: grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as the result of a particularly congenial environment, Alternatively: • develop rapidly and successfully. Synonyms: are: thrive, prosper, bloom, be in good shape, be in good health, be well, be strong, be vigorous, be in its heyday, make progress, advance, make headway, develop, improve, become better, mature; evolve, make strides, move forward (in leaps and bounds), move ahead, get ahead, expand; informal be in the pink, go places, go great guns, get somewhere. ANTONYMS decline.
Would not you prefer to be in a relationship that is vigorous, that blooms and is in the pink and is going great guns? Of course, everyone would!
There are times in everyone’s life that desperation may creep in and any kind of relationship is preferable to the present life. But at this moment I am in the cat bird’s seat. “Sitting in the catbird seat means being in a superior or position or a place where one has the advantage. Sitting in the catbird seat means one is in a position of power. The term sitting in the catbird seat originated in the American South, and was popularized by a sports announcer named Red Barber.” I am stable financially, do not want for anything. I am surrounded by love from so many people. I have Personal Driver, now I have Anne. I belong to the YMCA and do my exercise of choice. I have my left knee replacement surgery scheduled and I have enormous confidence in Dr. Elizabeth Dailey, my surgeon, based on my successful right knee replacement. I am not in particular pain at this moment. However, no one to meet my sexual needs.
So if I were to enter into a relationship with a man it would be because I want to be with him. So the relationship would be vigorous , would bloom and prosper and be in the pink. Well, particularly since he would have to take the steps mentioned in the February 22, 20202 blog.
So if the individual does what was suggested, then fine. But if not, then I will continue in my satisfactory life here in San Francisco. The only problem is – I have no one to meet my sexual needs but with my count of 117 – there must be some relief to be found there.
There are so many bargains on YouTube. Look at these and laugh and cry.
It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.”
💡” It is better to be envied than pitied.”
💡” It’s harder to conquer one’ own ambitions than it’s to slay a dragon.”
💡” To accomplish great deeds one must have knowledge as well as courage.”
💡” An empty hand is no lure for a hawk.”
💡” Hair by hair you will pull out the horse’s tail.”
💡” Better to be the head lf a dog than the tail lf a lion.”
💡” Half a loaf is better than none.”
💡” He who would eat the nuts must first crack the shell.”
💡” Never judge a book by its cover.”
💡” Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched.”
💡” A real king is greater than his crown. A real man is more than his clothes.”
💡” One swallow doesn’t make a summer.”
💡” Don’t cross a bridge until you come to it.”
💡” Be not afraid of growing slowly Be afraid only of standing still.”
💡” No man is happy who does not think himself so.”
💡” It’s never too late to mend.”
💡” One good turn deserves another.”
💡” The harder the storm the sooner it’s over.”
💡” A change of pasture makes fat calves.”
💡” Don’t wash dirty linen in public.”
💡” If you can’t bite better not show your teeht
They utterly kill me and there are more. My goodness I am beginning to love YouTube. Someone told me that what I should do is go on YouTube an read my blogs. Not a bad idea but it seems it would be necessary to get off of Instagram because it would be too onerous to do everything. The Sultan should learn that concept. Hahahaha