A Moment of Truth; Washing A Man Right Outa My Hair; Apt Defied; David Brooks on the Nuclear Family; Thoughts on Childlessness

I have forced myself to look at reality and actually after a period of sadness and mourning it feels fine, A certain song comes to mind – it is so funny with me and my songs. Here are portions of the song, the song that is so apt.

I’m gonna wash that man right outa my hair,
I’m gonna wash that man right outa my hair,
I’m gonna wash that man right outa my hair,
And send him on his way.
If a man don’t understand you,
If you fly on separate beams,
Waste no time, make a change,
Ride that man right off your range.
Rub him out of the roll call
And drum him out of your dreams.
Oho! If you laugh at different comics,
If you root for different teams,
Waste no time, weep no more,
Show him what the door is for.
Rub him out of the roll call
And drum him out of your dreams.
You can’t light a fire when the woods are wet,

It is most apt which is suitable, fitting, appropriate, befitting, relevant, felicitous, congruous, fit, applicable, judicious, apposite, apropos, to the purpose, to the point; perfect, ideal, right, just right, made to order, tailor-made; convenient, expedient, useful, timely; spot on.

So the song is spot on. What caused this abrupt shift? I took off the blinkers, and looked at how I had been treated and how I had been betrayed and faced the awful truth that it would always be this way for characterological and cultural reasons. There was a period of sadness but I picked myself up, dusted my self off and started all over again. It seems like a new chapter in my life has begun.I visited a new and different YMCA – one more convenient and with classes and hours more convenient. Also a different mix of people – perhaps younger and more vibrant. Then to Saks to get beautified, photograph of the glamorous me will be attached. Then to the Rotunda for lunch where I made a new friend. He is gay, living in a committed relationship for seventeen years. He is half Arab (Jordan) but was born and raised in San Francisco. He has a distinction – he has more pairs of glasses than I do. Then to my favourite store to order a new pair of glasses – I can occasionally be most competitive. Then to Chez Maman for onion soup and chats with waiters who said they missed me. Today shall be a quiet day, waiting for the delivery of a book case. I am settling in.

How will the man in question react when he reads this? I have no idea but he could look at it as a cost saving measure – no need to have people here to watch over me. I am funny because money is not exactly an issue with this individual.

David Brooks, writing for the Atlantic discusses the demise of the nuclear family. That 1950s vision for the family-a mom, a dad and their two (or three kids-is outdated. Statistically speaking, most Americans don’t grow up that way. And yet, the image persists. “We take is as the norm, David Brooks a contributing writer at the Atlantic and a columnist for the New York Times, argues :even though this wasn’t the way most humans lived during the tens of thousands of years before 1950, and it isn’t the way most humans have lived during the 55 years since 1965.” Brooks suggests that it is time to look elsewhere for new models of kinship. “For decades we have been eating at smaller and smaller tables, with fewer and fewer kin. It’s time to bring back the big tables.

I think of this issue often – children were raised in extended families until the 1950s, then along came the nuclear family but then women were in the work force and no one at all was at home raising the children Why have children that you never see? And think of your poor child, often with nannies who do no speak English or in a poorly funded day care centre. It makes no sense at all to me. I chose not to have children and I have never regretted that decision. My life is far from empty. For awhile, not in the very distant past, it was going to be most full. Why did I ever imagine I could do that? Be Granny Alexis to tens of kids. I laugh when I think about it. I would have been good at it, no doubt about that, but it would have been a little overwhelming. My balance of 60% social time and 40% alone time could probably not been accommodated.

The photograph is of a glamorized me. I do love Saks.

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