While I was in Dubai my dearest high school friend CPI (or CPO) sent the following question.
She: It suddenly struck me last night – what do these men wear under those spotless white robes and how do they pee when every dribble could show?
Me: They wear an undergarment under the spotless white robes, rather like a slip. One can sort of see through the robes when they are walking in the sunlight. As to the other, some research shall be necessary.
So I undertook research – asking at least two men in white the indelicate questions.. I conveyed the information to CPI in the following manner.
Me: I guess they lift up their dresses, in the manner of women. The laundry bills must be astronomical. But the women in black are blessed with smaller laundry bill and their dresses underneath are free of dribbles. Much love ❤️
Me: I utterly howled in laughter about the urination. Was not going to put it on the blog but shall. My goodness you are funny?!?!?
She: Oh dear, not too irreverent?
Me: Well, perhaps I will wait until I am home. I thought of something further. Perhaps with the dribble problem they wear jock straps. Did you know that jock straps were invented in Guelph, Ontario? I learned that when visiting Bruce and Nancy in Guelph. Travel is so broadening.
Me: So I have employed a spy – a man – who will go into the men’s when an Arab in a dress goes in and tell me what goes on. I am quite serious. I works outside the men’s and so he will have ample opportunity.
She: I look forward to the results of such reconnaissance.
Me: Something happened to reconnaissance man – he is no longer around or about.
She: I wonder if their practices result in long lines such as encountered in women’s restrooms. How awkward. I shudder when thinking of jump suits. How did I ever manage that?.
Me: YES. I remember I had a royal blue one – most sexy. But it took hours to urinate and I always was afraid it would get wet.
Me: My everlasting gratitude for you support. With much love,
CPI is such a good and faithful friend and is there when I need her. Our value to one another is enhanced because we are opposites.. She is solitary and I am the antithesis of solitary. Antithesis: opposite ,converse, reverse, reversal, inverse, obverse; the other extreme, the other side of the coin; informal: he flip side. But we are similar in these ways – we are smart, college educated and we did not have children. We have also been able to maintain our friendship through emails without much personal contact – this has been scientifically proven, to not be the norm. I have seen it take place with so many former friends. One has to take the time and the effort to see one another or the relationship fades. It needs personal contact to keep the sparks of friendship alive. And that is so true of those Instagram ‘romances” – where guys from distant parts come onto you with promises of love and friendship. They get cut off very quickly if there is no reason why I would ever go there. They usually do not have the freedom to live elsewhere .
But speaking of that; I was approached through Instagram (I think) by a man purporting to be the Crown Prince of Dubai. It was enormously funny. He began by introducing himself, giving facts – some of which were wrong.
He: I’m sheikh Hamdan the Crown prince of Dubai, chairman of Dubai executive council Deputy Ruler of Dubai and UAE Minister of Finance.. but preferred to be called fazza. Fazza means courageous. I’m 36 years old and 5.6 ft tall. I’m a Muslim by religion, I’m the third of my father’s 30 children Sheikh Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Crown King Of Dubai..my eldest brother Sheikh Rashid bin Mohammed died of a heart attack in September 2015, at the age of 33 Then i was appointed as the Crown Prince of Dubai ,do you know me?
Me: But you have already met me, in a hotel in London. And you are 37, you are the second of your father’s children, (23 by the way. You were made Crown Prince before your brother’s death. Fazza means one who cares – not courageous
He: Am really Proud to meet you here Alexis, one of the main reason why man here we fighting against some imposters who claim to be me and deceive innocent people for money, am disappointed my name and my family name is being disgraced..So am here to talk to my fans to be wise.
Me: But it is you that is the imposter!
He: I just hope you understand my point
Me: I do not understand your point. You are practically illiterate and Fazza is a poet with marvellous command of the English language.
He: I also hope our friendship don’t end here
Me: I never had a friendship with you – it never began.
He: How did you know so much about my family and tell me which country are you from?
Me: Because I met your family! None of your business what country am I from. Look it up on the blog.
He: Hello are you there?
Me: No I am not and I never will be. You lying creep and phoney.
Well another imposter bit the dust. You are welcome the real Crown Prince of Dubai. Now if I had never met your family I would not know all of the facts and know the real you. So thank you for introducing me to your wonderful family. They are jewels (and have a lot of jewellery by the way). Hahahaha
I always tell the truth (except sometimes I exaggerate a little) It never occurs to me that others do not, so I start out trusting people. But truth tellers can spot a liar immediately, can tell who is phoney and who is not. I am authentic – brazenly authentic. Google that – it has something to do with Alix Residences in Malaysia. Alix is my diminutive, by the way.
The photograph is a framed article from the Gateway, the University of Alberta student newspaper. It was written by a young woman called Lexy Dryburgh,(19) which was of course me. I always could write I realized but I listened to others who put me down. You know who you are. Curses upon you and your children’s children. It is from the Bible but there also is, apparently, an Arabic version. Google It yourself, lazy. Hahaha