A new song comes to mind, It is a Johnny Mathis song, When Sunny Gets Blue.
When Sunny gets blue
Her eyes get gray and cloudy
Then the rain begins to fall
Pitter patter, pitter patter
Love is gone so what can matter
No sweet lovin’ man comes to call
When Sunny gets blue
She breathes a sigh of sadness
Like the wind that stirs the trees
Wind that sets the leaves to swayin’
Like some violins are playin’
Weird and haunting melodies
People used to love to
Hear her laugh, see her smile
That’s how she got her name
Since that sad affair
She’s lost her smile
Changed her style
Somehow she’s not the same
But mem’ries will fade
And pretty dreams…
Hurry, new love, hurry here
To kiss away each lonely tear
And hold her near when Sunny gets blue
Well, I am. Blue that is. Its synonyms are depressed, down, sad, saddened, unhappy, melancholy, miserable, sorrowful, gloomy, dejected, downhearted, disheartened, despondent, dispirited, low, in low spirits, low-spirited, heavy-hearted, glum, morose, dismal, downcast, cast down, tearful; informal down in the dumps, down in the mouth, fed up. ANTONYMS happy, cheerful..
Considering what has happened to me in the past month I would have to be insane not to feel melancholy, dejected, morose, dismal cast down and down in the dumps. I can put on a happy face so I do not freak people out but it is phony. I kept it together when I was away in London and Dubai but now I am home and safe. I can be who I am and who I want to be. It is a huge relief.
I am watching The Tudors on Netflix, a well produced, intriguing tale. In many ways I resemble Anne Boleyn – at the moment she has not mistepped and is still around, but we all know what is going to happen in the end. There are ways we are not similar of course, I had no powerful family backing and encouraging me and I did not sleep with my my brother – either one of them – goodness knows. Well come to think of it I did not give birth to Queen Elizabeth the First, the Virgin Queen. So I just made myself smile but I am still blue.
The photograph is sunset on the desert – before I fell and hurt my knee and had to go to Rashid Emergency Room – not usually considered a tourist destination. Well, as I said to someone – here in hospital probably not fatal. It was not.