It is not easy being me, that is for damn sure! I hate this enforced immobility and having to depend on people – who inevitably might prove to be undependable. They invariably do in my life.
But then, just when I have given up for good, I get a sweet, precious, comforting, loving and caring response to an email. I sent an email to the UK with the subject line: Learning To Know What It Is Like to be an Aristocrat.
Me: And not liking it. I have a caregiver for a week and quite hate it! Perhaps even a husband would be preferable.
He: look on it as a pretrial for the heavenly experience which your life style will inevitably lead.
Is not the sweetest, sexiest response one could ever imagine?? This is a man who says he loves my brain, that is my biggest attraction – that, and my ability to change my opinionated views by listening, and then admitting I was wrong. He indeed sees me, in every sense of the word What response did I send back? Always having to have the last word:
Me: A perfect response! Xoxoxo xoxo ? Canadian and American form of this expression ***
One could say that my relationship with this man is true love – as it has certainly not run a smooth course. Do let us look up that expression. The quote “The course of true love never did run smooth,” means that even if two people are in love, some things or people might get in the way. (Like how Egeus is keeping Hermia from marrying Lysander) This happened often in ancient times and even now there are arranged marriages.’”
But further research revealed that “this course of true love” is actually attributable to (of all people) William Shakespeare, appearing in Midsummer’s Night Dream, the cause and effect is analyzed on Google. “Throughout the play, the love and romantic desires of the Athenian lovers are frustrated, at least until the end of act 4. At the beginning, Lysander and Hermia both love each other but cannot get married because Hermia’s father Egeus has promised Hermia to Demetrius and does not approve of Lysander. Demetrius has Hermia’s father’s approval, but not her love. Helena loves Demetrius, who once loved her as well, but abandoned her when he met….” So is that not amazing considering the fact that the UK guy is into theatre and we actually met at the National Theatre.
But here is an additional observation made by me. Most marriages wither on the vine because there is no outward conflict, the couple pretends to be happy and content with the other and never gets a foul word or anger is spoken to the spouse. For various and sundry reasons that sort of behaviour characterized my three marriages. What is sundry? Its synonyms are: various, varied, miscellaneous, assorted, mixed, diverse, diversified, motley, random; several, numerous, many, manifold, multifarious, multitudinous, legion.
So for various, diverse, motley reasons my previous marriages were dead – there was no spark, no real intimacy, no sense of equality and respect. I suppose one could say – that was then and this is now. But at the moment I do not have a husband.
I think I am going to go back to sleep – I am tired. I have eaten my yogurt, taken my pills and it is now time for a little nightie -night. (again). It is about eight in the morning.
Later. CPI has written:
She: Let me know how you feel when you can. In the meantime happy mobility dreams.
Me: Doing very well today. I guess it is the happy mobility dreams.
Slightly later FOCP arrives, she is given a new nickname.
Me: I have a new nickname for you. It is Miss Philippines.
She: Thank you. I am from the Philippines.
Me: I knew that! That is why I called you that.
She: Did you know that the Philippines is near Malaysia?
Me: I know that as well.
I am in the bed (of course) and she tidies up and removes some of the objects that litter the bed:
FOCP: What are you doing with a fork in your bed?
Me: I guess I want to get forked.
Then we go on to talk about breakfast.
Me: I want Jimmie Dean.
She: You can have Jimmie Dean. I will heat him up for you!
She: Here is Jimmie Dean, nice and hot for you.
Me: Perhaps too hot. I will wait until he cools down a bit.
Me: I have eaten Jimmie Dean.
She: Did he eat you?
Me: No. You cannot have everything.
In case any of you are wondering, Jimmie Dean is a breakfast sausage that is microwavable. But it sure was a great joke – we enjoyed immensely and we hope you did as well.
She: I like being here with you.
Me: I like you being here with me. We laugh and have such a good time.
So at this point not sure what the day will bring. Definitely some physical therapy. The physical therapist came but spent most of her time writing down the extensive medications that I was taking. That was a stupid waste of time because she has nothing to do with my medication regime. There was little time left for physical therapy which is why she was there. I guess it is the stupid protocol of Home Health Care. It is an example of what FOCP and I call Standard Operating Bull Shit, Oh well, that appointment is over, perhaps the next session we will get down to doing some physical therapy. I am determined to get well – life is too short to be immobile!