Those Were the Best of Days, The Worst of Days, Meticulous Defined; Nasty Nurse Navigators; Temerity Defined; But Cheerfulness with FOCG

So yesterday I was released from the hospital. It would have gone incredibly smoothly and effortlessly except for the presence of one person (a ‘nurse navigator’ and the Security Department. The excellence of everyone else was undermined by that person and that group. I had given my wallet to Security and when I was to be released they had shut down for some reason and my release was delayed by over an hour. A wonderful woman ran over to retrieve it and arrived all sweaty and out of breath. Then I was finally able to get going.

Where would I be without Personal Driver? He arrived on schedule and waited and waited and even came to my room where we joked about. So finally I was wheeled in style and got in my personal chariot that is disguised as a Yellow Cab and off we sped. But the anxiety and the heat built up and I threw up – because and fortunately not in the chariot and Personal Driver found a plastic bag in the nick of time. We stopped at my precious Chase Bank so I could pick up money and they ran out is I could sign the withdrawal and then brought the cash. More heat and sickness but then a coordination of epic proportions found me with the administrators of the Home Care Assistance personal and then my caregiver. You shall hear about her in few minutes. We are a perfect match, which is mightily unusual.

It would have been seamless if not for the ‘nurse navigator’ who did not return calls, denied she got them and then tried to remedy the situation which only confused matters. Then she had the temerity to say that I was on drugs and could not remember certain events. Temerity: boldness, audaciousness, nerve, effrontery, impudence, impertinence, cheek, barefaced cheek, gall, presumption, presumptuousness, brazenness, forwardness, front, rashness; daring; informal face, neck, brass neck, brass; North American informal chutzpah; She had the effrontery, the nerve, the gall to say this because she deals with older people in the midst of crisis and they take the blame. She took no responsibility for her behaviour.

But she is not my problem as I am released from the hospital and I did complain to those in authority.

But, back to the good moments and the good times and the good people that surrounded me that day. I have a care giver and we do get along so well and laugh all of the time. She and I are not exactly alike in any way – but her expression has become out motto – meticulously shit, many things in life are meticulously shit. Meticulous: , conscientious, diligent, ultra-careful, scrupulous, punctilious, painstaking, demanding, exacting, accurate, correct; thorough studious, rigorous, detailed, perfectionist, fastidious, methodical, particular, strict; pedantic, fussy; North American white-glove; archaic nice, laborious. ANTONYMS careless, sloppy, slapdash.

There are often perfectionistic, demanding, exacting and perfectionistic people and situations but usually they are, underneath it all, shits.

She has a nickname – it is FOCG – Fantastically Outstanding Care Giver. Instead of Standard Operating Procedure, we speak of Standard Operating Bull Shit, because it is one and the same.

The medication regime is unbelievable and takes a pharmacists degree to figure it out and there are, of course, more than one set of instructions given to patients. One takes a different pill according to the pain level one experiences or two different pain pills according to a self assigned number. It is sheer insanity. This is the problem – if one stays perfectly still with the ice machine on – then no pain whatsoever. But the whole idea is to be moving. More than a little contradictory. The wondrous physician explained that the very best way to to exercise and then do rest with ice otherwise my leg will end up looking like a watermelon. The hospital’s rules and regulations tend to infantilize patients, making sure that the patient does not fall and sue the hospital.

I am most appreciative of my medical care but am convinced that this is not a medical care system but a medical care industry – which it is. But give me an industry over Canadian medical (so-called) care. Sometimes the profit motive is not a bad thing.

So things are on the upward swing and they are only only going to get better and better as times goes on. Have certain people not been there for me in the midst of this trying time? Yes, they have not been. Are they going to get a second chance. Highly doubtful tending towards absolutely not.

The physical therapist is coming to my home, which is quite wonderful. But somehow she does not know when and I later discover that it is an entirely different agency.. This is not at all helpful. Oh well, I shall just finish this blog and go and hug my bunny. Perhaps include a picture of me and bunny.

Me: Alexis is now sitting up getting ready for breakfast.

FOCG: It will be there in a minute.

Me: Alexis is now putting frozen peas on leg to prevent swelling

FOCG: Good girl!

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