Loving the Apartment; Loving the Neighbourhood; Loving My Life; And More About Love; Ending with a Banana Joke

I awake and calculate – I have been living here, in this glorious apartment for a week, this is Wednesday, I moved in on Wednesday. I am fast on my feet although in bed. The bed is spectacular l- great mattress, sheets that feel sensuous to my skin, lots of pillows. Last night had the best of sleeps waking up to daylight, so probably at least ten hours. The halls and common areas outside the apartment hold different delights. It seems that they rent exclusively to young, handsome, professional men. This is what happened yesterday. After writing the blog and sending off to Chris it was time for a bagel at nearby Wise Sons, a discovery of the day before. Making my way to the elevator I encountered a handsome young man clutching a coffee cup – we got on the same elevator.

Me: You must work and your are on your way to work.

He: Yes, how did you guess?

Me: The coffee to go, the way you are dressed and the hours. I do not work anymore because I am retired.

He: That is nice for you.

Me: Yes, I earned it, as I worked all of my life and then got old. What do you do?

He: I am a cardiologist.

Me: Wow! Good for you! I have a heart. It is in very good condition says my doctor.

Now someone later suggested, upon hearing the story, that I blew it. I should have ripped open my blouse and asked for an examination. However, that is not a good idea even though I am quite well equipped with the real things. For one thing, I was wearing a dress and would have had to pull the entire dress over my head – that would commonly be known as TMI. Besides, this was the first elevator ride and one cannot become too familiar too soon. He does live on this floor so I am bound to run into him again – if I ONLY remembered what time it was that was – perhaps he leaves for work at the same time every day. He was going to the garage so he must drive. It is difficult to be a stalker – I am new to the job as usually it is me that is getting stalked. This was not my first encounter with a young , handsome professional man. The second day I was here I met M. who hailed from France, just completed Stanford Business School and was interning at Google. So the essential criteria was met twice: handsome, professional and young (32). I know someone that works at Google, I texted that person and told him about M. I have not heard back, that guy is in trouble.

But from far away I am fighting with a similarly equipped individual.

Me: You did not respond to my funny article about the dogs. All you have to write is haha

He emailed: Ha

Me: I insist on HaHaHa. I am a demanding woman.

What will happen now? Who knows? Men can be so controlling, or try to be so controlling. As one guy of my acquaintance wrote:

He: Control you? Might as well try and stop the wind!

Me: You have a point. So why do you keep trying.

Well I know the answer – it is genetic. Yesterday I listened to Ted Talks, a podcast. It was entitled What is Love? It was altogether rather fascinating, its basic premise is that love is instinctive. They are talking not just about romantic love, but love in general, between family members, friends and all. Give it a listen. It was all very scientific, based on brain research. There are two competing forces: one wants adventure, spontaneity, fun ; but the other desires stability, predictability, assuredness. But somehow in this society, this culture we expect one person to meet both of these needs. It is difficult, if not utterly impossible. As the scientist concluded: “We expect one person to do what it takes an entire village did in the past.” At this moment my notes are missing and locating them has proven impossible. But if you want the lowdown – you must listen.

Now this is funny. Someone close to me objected to my interest in a certain man because of a rather huge age discrepancy. Of course I had to share this dilemma with my friend CPI or CPO.

She found this hilarious cartoon and emailed it. It involves bananas and it is hysterically funny you do have to admit. Am I obeying the admonition? Now we have a word for today. Admonition: exhortation, warning, caution, caveat, piece of advice, admonishment, recommendation; injunction, monition, enjoinment, instruction, direction, suggestion, lesson, lecture, precept; advice, counsel, guidance, urging, encouragement, persuasion, pressure.This is the word used in a sentence: The frequent admonitions of his anxious parents. What makes this true story even funnier is the underlying situation involves a complete role reversal. But are you going to hear about the underlying situation. Nope – I do tell the truth but not the whole truth. I do have secrets, in place to protect people from scrutiny.

I am, by the way, not completely obeying the guidance, urging, persuasion and pressure put upon me. But it is not harmful in any way, and just plain funny.

Me: How old are you anyway?

He: 33

Me: OMG I thought you were 35. But 33???

He: Alexis, I cannot help when I was born.

Me: Well, you do have a point.

Then great laughter ensued. Ensue: follow, develop, stem, spring, arise, derive, evolve, proceed, emerge, emanate, issue, flow; occur, happen, take place, surface, crop up, spring up, present itself, come next, come about, transpire, supervene; be caused by, be brought about by, be produced by, originate in, accompany, be attended by, be consequent on, come after.

And all of you disapproving people, it is not immoral or improper to laugh with a younger man when it was his joke that caused the laughter to spring up, to transpire, to be produced by. The banana joke will produce laughter in you – gentle reader. So is anyone harmed by all of this? NO, in fact joy is brought from this. Where is the harm? But you have gotta feel sorry for the guy. He usually (probably always) gets want he wants. He is horrifically successful having made a great deal of money and legitimately and himself.

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