My Lord, My Life is Weird;Bated Breath; A Will Word; Throwing Down the Gauntlet; Ending With an Inappropriate Daggson Cartoon

I tried to call friend Jennifer but was unsuccessful as she did not answer. I left a long message. We still communicate by email which is rather ridiculous now that our phones are both within the 415 area code but if it ain’t broke – do not fix it. We communicated by email (of course) when I lived in London but now I do not. I called her to laugh about how weird my life is. As faithful readers will recall I am going to Las Vegas for Grandson’s wedding which is weird enough because he is not my real Grandson and we have never met. There is no way I am ever going to pass as he is extremely black and I extremely white with blue eyes. I called to make airline reservations today and had the best conversation ever. The agent told me about a fabulously funny show called Penis Puppetry. I googled it and I am going – either with or without the “boys”. The boys are Grandson and his future partner. Faithful readers will know that was a bit of a surprise – the “boys part” as I assumed Grandson was marrying a girl, but I am fine with it and will meet him too. Such a strange threesome that is going to make- I mean partying not anything else. I am the only white in that crowd – definitely I will be in the minority being both a woman and white. But I will be older than their combined ages – that will give me some advantage I guess.

Then the other funny thing is that I am gong for a special Hayes Valley neighbourhood event at the Fatted Calf at 4:30 today. They butcher an animal and everyone gets to watch and drink free wine. I do admit that it sounds weird but I am looking forward to it with baied breath. Goodness I HAVE to look that up. Bated breath is a phrase that means to hold one’s breath due to suspense, trepidation or fear. Bated breath is a phrase first mentioned in Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice. The word bated is an abbreviation of the word abated, meaning to lessen in severity or amount. Bated is rarely used on its own as an adjective or verb anymore, but it lingers in the English language in the phrase bated breath.

So I did not know that – it is another Will Word – it comes from Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice. What would we do without that guy?? Now I have spent some time in London, in the theatre and went to Stratford on the Avon, to Ashland (in this country) and to Stratford, Ontario.. So it is not as if Will is a stranger to me. Not at all. However – I did not know that he is responsible for bated breath. One has to love the guy (and I do, and several others as well). Hahaha. The guys I love are handsomer and younger than Will. Perhaps not wordsmiths but one cannot have everything. Besides that, I am making them wordsmiths.

He: Every time I get an email from you I learn a new word.

Me: That is the sweetest thing you have ever said to me. (or words to that effect.)

This is something that makes my world even weirder. I, the vegetable hater, move into this apartment that is very well equipped, it even has a cookbook: Love Real Food. It is a hardcover book and looks promising but upon more examination, this is on the cover, the following sentence: More than 100 feel good vegetarian favourites to delight the senses and nourish the body.

Yes, how inappropriate is that under the circumstances. But this is going to surprise you.

Me: Fasten your seatbelts.

You: OK. The shoulder strap is in place.

Me: You will not believe this but I am dying make Black Bean Tortilla Soup with Sweet Potatoes.

I guess this amounts to a religious conversion. Someone once was trying to covert me but I was resistant. I am consistent in my ‘belief’ system that Jesus is a prophet and he existed but he is not the Son of God. However, me the vegetable detester does look forward to making a vegetarian soup. I am throwing down the gauntlet. Of course, I look up the phrase. “Declare or issue a challenge, as in The senator threw down the gauntlet on the abortion issue. This expression alludes to the medieval practice of a knight throwing down his gauntlet, or metal glove, as a challenge to combat. Its figurative use dates from the second half of the 1700s, as does the less frequently heard take up the gauntlet, for accepting a challenge.”

If the person to whom I am throwing down the gauntlet (and therefore challenging) does read this blog – he will perfectly well know what I am talking about. If he does not read the blog and/or refuses to accept the challenge then Too Bad, So Sad. I think sad for him but not necessarily for me.

The poor guy, one has to feel sorry for him, such a dilemma. Yet again a word. Dilemma: quandary, predicament, difficulty, problem, puzzle, conundrum, awkward situation, tricky situation, difficult situation, difficult choice, catch-22, vicious circle, plight, mess, muddle; trouble, perplexity, confusion, conflict, uncertainty, indecision; informal no-win situation, sticky situation, pickle, fix, spot, tight spot, tight corner, poser, facer; British informal sticky wicket.

So such a sticky wicket. I am a fighter, he is a fighter. Can we make peace between the two of us? Perhaps but it is up to him to make the peace offering and directly.

Attached to this blog is an extremely funny and rather inappropriate cartoon from my favourite Icelandic Cartoonist, Dagsson. It cannot help but make you laugh. Perhaps not, it is obvious that I do have a weird sense of humour. I shall never surrender it! Throwing down the gauntlet!

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