Instagram Guy Warren Zinger posted the following: “We only feel emotions around us that are a match to the emotions inside of us.” It did set me to thinking and does explain, in many ways, the recent changes in my life. My anger is dissipating and I seem to have obliterated the angry folk around me. The first word shall be dissipate, a verb: disappear, vanish, evaporate, dissolve, melt away, melt into thin air, be dispelled, dematerialize; disperse, scatter; drive away, dispel, banish; quell, allay, check; literary evanesce.
The anger has melted into thin air and has been dispelled as, quite simply, I have nothing to be angry about. I am surrounded by good, helpful, friendly people – in real life and on Instagram. None of the withholding individuals that were my ‘friends’ on Facebook. So I do not get angry at their parsimonious likes. My goodness, do you not love that word parsimonious? Mean, miserly, niggardly, close-fisted, penny-pinching, cheese-paring, ungenerous, penurious, illiberal, close, grasping, Scrooge-like, stinting, sparing, frugal; informal tight-fisted, stingy, tight, mingy, money-grubbing, skinflinty; British vulgar slang tight-arsed, tight as a duck’s arse; ANTONYMS generous, extravagant, lavish.
Those Facebook friends can keep their stinting, sparring, tight-arsed Likes to themselves and their close family members and not looking to them for approval is freeing and makes me content and happy. Instead I am surrounded with generous, extravagant and lavish praise from wonderful people on Instagram. We create a positive environment for one another. A song comes to mind, googling it and listening on YouTube: Lookin’ for Love in All the Wrong Places..
I was lookin’ for love in all the wrong places
Lookin’ for love in too many faces
Searchin’ their eyes
Lookin’ for traces
Of what I’m dreamin’ of
Hoping to find a friend and a lover
I’ll bless the day I discover
Another heart lookin’ for love
Then I start to look back at where I looked for love, and thought (once in a while) that I found it. I met Husband #1 at a church group (as unbelievable as that sounds) but most of the others the encounters took place at my (and their) places of employment. After retirement the encounters where the meetings occurred became more esoteric: The National Theatre in London, once. But here is the funniest one and I start laughing uproariously to myself. I met my friend Joo Kim Tiah in the lobby of the Trump International Hotel and Tower in Vancouver. How did I ever expect that relationship would ever “turn out”. I am laughing at the improbability of it all. I have a great sense of humour and it does hold me in good stead. Now the YWCA in Vancouver was a great place to meet men but I formed no lasting unions there. What does that say?
My women friends I met at school, and then at work, at an Ikebana class, recently the YWCA in Vancouver, and most recently on a boring Icelandic tour The song is not about female friendships but, goodness knows, they are sustaining and valuable. My new women friends are vastly different from my previous friendships as well. My new women friends are competent, positive, sociable and have good relationships with those around them. This was not true of my friendships in the past.
Then two wonderful things happened, two telephone calls. One from my beloved Internist’s office calling to tell me that my mammogram showed no sign of cancer.
Me: Oh my goodness! Thank you so much for calling me to tell me that. You guys are angels.
She: Thank you! We like to hear that!
Me: You know, it took the experience of living in Vancouver with the routine horrible medical care to make me truly appreciate your office and all of the wonderful care I receive at your hands.
Although breast cancer does not ‘run’ in the family it was still a relief as a number of my friends have suffered with that malady. I count myself fortunate and I am daily grateful for my good health.
The second call was from an Apple employee, I have daily been taking Apple classes at the Corte Madera store, increasing my skills to make my life easier. I filled out a complex evaluation that asked for feedback on the experience. I gave cheers and congratulations for the instructors but said that the noise level in the store makes learning difficult, if not impossible. The form offered the opportunity for a telephone call and I said one would be welcomed. Patrick called and we had the best chat- I offered some suggestions and he was SO helpful and said he would try to implement my suggestions. We both felt better for the interaction – I was not a complaining uptight fool and I felt that someone heard me. It was a win/win.
In Vancouver I just gave up going to the Apple store – the noise level was deafening, the store small and crowded with rude people. One does believe that you do not deserve any better and just give up. But it is different here. It is so good to be home – on every level and for every reason.
My cheerfulness continues. At breakfast I met a wonderful couple I regaled them with stories of my life, speaking of my favourite T-shirt which is emblazoned with a cartoon of me. The photo attached to this blog shows me in all of my glory. The story of the T-shirt can be found on the blog. Type G.W. Ottawa into the search engine and the February 2, 2018 blog pops up and within are two references to prior blogs written in August of 2017. It is highly amusing and rather unbelievable but true. I did place the same picture on Instagram with the caption.
“At breakfast wearing my favourite shirt. The is obviously me on the shirt and in it. There is the funniest story behind it all, so improbable. It took place at the Trump in Vancouver about two years ago. It involved one of the most powerful men in Canada. But I did not need Me Too to rescue me from his advances. My humour prevailed.” There were 25 Likes (so far) with ScotchandCold Pizza leading the pack.
The couple I spoke with are my age. We laughed, I asked why they were at the Inn, gasping at their answer. Two surgeries in their family today – their daughter giving her kidney to her adolescent son. I apologized for my humour and hugged the mother/grandmother.
She: No, do not apologize. It was good to laugh, listening to you brought me some joy.
We spoke of the almost miracle of a diagnosis which brought to light the severe kidney dysfunction. It was a case of something bad (a broken arm) which led to the discovery of the dysfunction which otherwise would not have been detected. This morning she will be at the hospital but I will breakfast with the husband. She will breakfast with me later and let me know how everything went. The surgeries will be at UCSF – they are bound to go well.
Also attached to this blog is friend Kathleen’s poem on friendship – it is beautiful as you can see. “Here is an attached photo for your Blog of “Tapestry” from my upcoming book “Horizons”. Merchandise, mobile covers, tote bags, towels etc., with my poem prints are available at https://kathleen-tonnesen.pixels.com/ “