So this is going to be a short and sweet blog. The Official Announcement is that I have the best life of anyone in the whole world. Well, I do admit that I am being a bit ebullient but everything at this moment seems to be going right and it is best to celebrate those moments because, God knows, they are going away – sooner or later. Probably sooner.
I am still in bed and it is ten o’clock. Now I have been up and about, hung pictures (more about that another time), made several telephone calls and kicked ass. I am good at kicking ass as I was a California lawyer and I put up with s**t for awhile but then I am a person very unlike most Canadians. If my mouth is full of feces I can say: Feces!
I got an email from the Equinox Gym here in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada that announced to any and all (not just me) that if one brings a friend to the celebration tomorrow they will be gifted with $250.00. WELL – I fired back an email to the boss lady.
Me: I am going to clone myself and therefore get the $250.00. It is either that or a homeless person. You are being unfair!. Alexis
She: I would advise you to re-think that strategy! Clone of self means TWO paid memberships and TWO trainers to work with…I think cost-benefit analysis says $250 wouldn’t cover that!
I’ve often thought how smart it would be to be homeless and pay for an Equinox membership. Nice showers, comfy couch…
Me: You are killing me!! I am so laughing! I am dying laughing and worse yet – I have an appointment to come and see you guys later today. Be prepared!! I have to pay money – what is this?? Oh well there is no such thing as a free lunch. Alexis, of the Equinox.
She: Lunch on ME!
Me: Can I blog this? You are funnier than I am but I still want to blog it. Queen Alexis of the Equinox.
Prior to this email conversation I had a telephone conversation with my cousin Gail. I constantly intersperse our discussions with two stock phrases: 1) I am crazy OR 2) I was born in Saskatchewan. But another one occurred to me.
Me: So I have another phrase to add. I have a weird sense of humor – very weird
She: Well, yes you do.
Me: I am so laughing (as you can tell).
So Gail faithfully reads my blog and did provide the cute picture pictured in yesterday’s blog that captured all of your hearts (hahaha) But this is what she said:
She: I looked at that picture – your shoes are scuffed!
Me: Really?? Oh my goodness, I just found the picture and you are right.
She: And there is a picture of me, taken at about the same age and my shoes are scuffed as well.
Me: Wow! What do you think that means?
She: Well, I think we used to play outside all of the time and we probably did not have play shoes and dress up shoes.
Me: That is fascinating!
And would all of the above take place without this blog. For various complicated reasons I do say with certainty – NO WAY.
For some strange reason I woke up this morning and hung my own damn pictures. I guess I was waiting for a husband (either full or part time) to come and do it.
Alter Ego: Get a grip Alexis. You have a hammer, you have picture hangers, Do it yourself!
Me: Yes Ma’am!
The attached picture is of a mirror that now hangs by my bed. I purchased it at the car boot sale in London, England. It says: IT’S ALL ABOUT ME. That is supposed to be my mantra and that is the truth and I always tell the truth (exaggerate once in a