I am officially in love, but here is the good news. Unless he reads the blog it is unlikely that the object of my affection will know and be affected by my massive charms. He is at least a Canadian (although probably lives in the East). He looks like he is age appropriate. Applying my ever faithful formula, CHASED : he is Charismatic Humorous (definitely) Available (don’t know) Sexy Empathetic Dependable. The man’s name is Rick Mercer. Poor foreign folks may not know this – but he is the icon, the star and the instigator of the Rick Mercer Report, an amazingly hilarious Canadian television program to which I am addicted. He is a Canadian Political Satirist, I don’t know much about Canadian politics but I am a quick learner. I just DIE laughing watching the Rick Mercer report playing the program again and again On Demand. But Rick does need to change the name of his show to Mercer and McBride. He is fantastically funny but I would be an excellent partner. He is outrageous, I am outrageous. He has massive energy, I have massive energy, He is East Coast, I am West Coast. He is weird; I am weird. He does bizarre things; I do bizarre things. It is a match made in heaven. But in the meantime, I got him On Demand and I do know how to operate the remote. Greater fame may be mine; I have enough now for my humble tastes ,but more must might be fun..
i definite myself as a born again Canadian and have the traits of all born agains: devoted, rabid, rather iconoclastic and unwavering. Please do not forget my painted face on Canada Day so illustrative of the passion felt to the land of my birth. Don’t you mess with my Canada. My ardor is fed by Canadian television populated by my Rick, my William, my Julia and my Alexis et.al. of Schitt’s Creek. But I am not just a casual fan. The other day at VPL a book caught my eye, Michael Adams’ newest: Could It Happen Here: Canada in the Age of Trump and Brexit. To those sitting at the edge of your seats I shall quickly jump to the conclusion: “Could Canadians suddenly find themselves seized by the rage-fueled politics of exclusion and enthralled by a tough-guy autocrat? I suppose anything is possible. But if we go beyond the fleeting politics of the day and look more closely at those underlying values the answer becomes clear: we have had our flings with with polarizing populists, but when the buzz wears off, we always seem to muddle our way back to the middle. (pg.153). Now, is that not profound writing? Muddle our way back to the middle? But the sheer joy of the book is that it is based on science – extensive studies by the Environics group of research and consulting companies. Michael Adams is the founding president, has authored six books and lives in Toronto. Let’s see – Rick lives in the East, as does Michael and there is always good old G.W, of Ottawa. What in the world am I doing here in Western Canada? My original plans upon returning to Canada:
1 Begin in Vancouver.
2 Work my way to the East Via Rail
3 Settle briefly in Toronto
4 Hop back to London for extended visits. It is not so much that I got side-tracked – for interesting reasons the train never left the station (so to speak). Wait until you hear that story! So I was led astray, found myself living in the Trump International Hotel and the rest, they say, is history.
I was rushing down West Georgia Street to the Equinox – my home away from home as I am a certified gym rat. Who should I spy but the Emperor of Olde. The Emperor was, it seemed to me, trying to avoid me and almost got himself killed trying to cross to the other side of the street but yelled in my loudest lawyer voice. .
Me: Emperor! Emperor! You cannot You Cannot Get Away From Me!
Caught in his tracks he dutifully stopped and smiled.
He: You have a sharp eye.
Me: Not necessarily, that is why I wear glasses. Here let me give you a hug.
He: So are you on the way to the gym?
Me: Of course! I am very loyal to Equinox
He: Do you still train with the same young man?
Me: Yes, I am very loyal to my personal trainers.
He: Are you enjoying your apartment?
Me: Yes, I absolutely love it! It is so well located, it is furnished and is equipped with EVERYTHING, even a vibrator.
Well, to be honest, I lied about the vibrator. But one must take this into consideration:
1 I have no filter (according to CCC)
2 It did make for a very funny line.
3 The Emperor almost fainted from shock. He is not at all used to sass as he has not seen me for five months. I guess he will either gird his loins (whatever that may mean) or, in the alternative, never walk on West Georgia Street again. What a horrible choice to have to make! I do have a lot of pent up sass with no Emperor and no Joo Kim Tiah around to sass. I remember once, months ago, saying to the Emperor that what Trump needed was someone to sass him. The Emperor said that his children did – I differed with him and does not the apparent FBI investigation prove I am right? Ivanka would not be in the trouble she is in today if Trump had someone to sass his rear end. Perhaps I should volunteer to give Ivanka sass lessons. This would be the scenario: Ivanka after the Alexis-McBride-Extensive Crash-Course-In-Sass: “Are you kidding?? if I take on that responsibility I will have to submit myself to a security clearance and that did not go very well for my dear husband!” Now that is sass and everyone’s life would be a whole lot easier. So there! So there! So there!
The snowy photograph is taken from the window of my well equipped apartment.