I sent an email to Son, the Crooner who is still in the Philippines with his kids – the children in his day care. Me: Good morning son. I realize that it is not morning to you! So I woke up and I am getting stuff together, packing for my trip to California. But I opened a book and found this quote – “My optimism wears heavy boots and is loud” – it was said by Henry Rollins. Is not that funny, Oh Optimism Man? Maybe that should be your new nickname. hahaha.
This has special meaning between the two of us because this exchange took place at Mott 32 Restaurant possibly tens of times:
Son, the Crooner: Mother, I am being optimistic!
Me: No you are not, you are just stupid.
Son, the Crooner: Mother, you make me laugh!
Me: Me too!
So perhaps I will change his nickname but probably not. He is my ‘son’ and he does sing to me – or did. He is going to sing “My Way” at my funeral and promises to cry during the rendition.
Quite seriously some people fear for my life – all of the money and my sass. But I do not particularly. Everybody has to die sometime, I escaped that fate on September 13, 2014. If I were to die under mysterious circumstances everyone would know who was responsible and I know that at least four people would kill with their bare hands.
The tale of the near death experience can be found in my blog of April 23, 2017. It is accompanied by a selfie. Trust me PPP, I do not look cute in that one. I am tuff though, read it and you will make that discovery. I was all alone in London, knew no one, recovered and even started school on time. I guess it was that event that changed my life, but in a good way.
The story of Son, the Crooner’s day care can be found in the September 27, 2017 blog and the September 29, 2017 blog. I asked whether there had been any contributions and Son said:”No”. I was shocked – not at the lack of response from strangers but the lack of any and all of those at the Trump, those who know him? Just when I think that the cravenness of that bunch has reached an apex, then I learn of even more. I am so thankful I am not there any more. I did send Son encouraging words just as any worthwhile mother would. A portion of that message appears below.
Me: You are optimistic in the finest sense. It is so interesting – you are wealthier than ANYONE can ever be and your riches will give back – today, tomorrow and forever more. Those who horde their riches, try to grow the riches, but with all the money (possibly because of it) they will live a miserable existence, so richly deserved. (hahahaha).
Son: Enjoy your trip, Mothership. I miss you.
This is going to be unbelievable but it is true and it occurred at the First Class and Business Class Air Canada Lounge at the Vancouver International Airport. Two look alike women appear on the scene.
Me; Are you two twins.
She: No actually we are sisters, two years apart. Sometimes I say we are and ask can we have two for the price of one.
Me: You know what you should do? You should say: No. not twins. I had her cloned.
She: Not a bad idea.
Then I tell her my hilarious story – the one where I say to a man looking for a wife and children that he should just clone himself, provide the clone a sex change operation and then the wife would be perfectly suitable. But then I realize that the eggs (ovum) must come from somewhere, so he is back looking for a woman. But then I go to a doctor, explain that I have had a hysterectomy but kept my ovaries.
Me: So do I still have eggs?
Doctor: Well, yes but they would be pretty old.
So I email the man telling him of this exciting discovery. He politely declined: “No thank you.” I graciously wrote back.
Me: I will give you some time to reconsider. The little girl would be cute. Perhaps with a sense of humor but it is positively sure – she will be sassy.
So we are not going to get married, have six kids, all of whom go to Harvard but……
Well the conversation went on with the woman and honest to goodness, great balls of fire, this is the truth. Her friend is the cousin of Joo Kim Tiah – her friend’s father is Joo Kim’s uncle. How likely is that? This conversation in an airport? The woman lives in Dallas, I am not sure where her friend lives. I know it is weird but it is true. I got so discombobulated that I lost my boarding pass and then my passport but I did make the plane and now I am in California. I sat in seat 1-A which is the same seat I sat in when I traveled to Vancouver from London, England on March 15, 2017. This time Jasmine sat next to me, a charming 24 year old woman. She graduated from Berkeley and has a successful career, her second job. I said: “Wow! I so admire your accomplishments.” But then I thought of what I was doing when I was 24. I had graduated from the University of Alberta, I was working at Alberta Hospital, my second job. I would soon leave for San Francisco with Husband No.1. Wow! Alexis Janice McBride. I so admire your accomplishments.
My day today is golden. Lunch with Jim, a friend since I was 24 and then an appointment with one of the heroes of my life. My primary care physician, the man who has been there for me for at least forty years. Wow! Alexis Janice McBride. You are blessed!
The photo is a selfie of me located on seat 1-A. I previously put it on Instagram. I did a live video this morning on Instagram. Check it out! alexismctwit.
I have a date tomorrow night. You know, a guy takes you to dinner. You don’t pay. How cute. This is our second date. He is young. You may hear nothing more about this. I do need my privacy.