That does accurately describe my mood at this moment. I am feeling frayed, An idiom comes to the rescue, which describes the feeling: to start to fray around/at the edges. It means to start to become less effective and successful. That is me at this moment.
There are other idioms to describe this state of mind; be at your beam’s edge, flog a dead horse, be at the rots end, pale into insignificance. All of those are applicable. Some are amusing.
Writing does improve my mood. Writing, isolation, time with Allah. Therefore, that Is what I have scheduled.
Knowing this was not the first time I felt frayed around/at the edges, decided I might have called it something else but had written about it in the past. Thought of the word discombobulated – typed it in the search engine. There were fourteen entries. The first five had the word discombobulated in the title – the others in the text. What a discovery!.
The first entry, according to date is March 30, 2017. This is the blog title:
Discombobulated To Begin With But Then Tales of the City As I Take My Leave Ending with a Polite Young Man by the Name of Jack and You Have Come a Long Way Baby
This taken from another early entry, June 3, 2017.
“Triple S.’s birthday book supplies this from Garrison Keillor: “I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.” It seemed the perfect quote as I awoke feeling totally discombobulated. The definition first found was not that great so the search for meaning continued.This from Urban Dictionary is priceless: “One of those rare and wonderful words that means exactly what it sound like. There is no word more onomatopoeic to confusion than discombobulate.” Huh? The favorite synonym found eventually – befuddlement. “
The other end of the spectrum. Most recent discombobulated entry. Date is March
The Lowdown on TAR UMT University, Sonny’s Alma Mater; Schools Like This Can Be a Cure for Corruption; This Aligns With Islamic Tradition; Follow Link to Learn What is Really Going on in Trump’s Alleged Mind; Corruption in Saudi Arabia Discussed; Unnerved Described; Photos of Kuching and Me
Closet in time to that one is one written on August 22, 2025.
Disorientation, Despair, and Discombobulation Relieved By Humor: Delicious Breakfast Buffet However Unable to Find Elevators: Helpful Man is the New General Manager of Hotel; Text Conversation Speaks of Need to Repent but Then Receiving the Mercy of Allah (SWT); Looking for the Direction of the Kaaba Leads to an Interesting Discovery
I reread the August 22, 2025 in its entirety. I spoke glowingly of my relationships with three individuals. None of this three are in my life – a little over a year later. All three, each in their own way betrayed me. One could have done me in totally. I speculate he did himself in – committing suicide by jumping into a KL lake . I will never know, only Allah knows.
The departure of this trio from my life can explained by a saying from Rumi. “You cannot fill a cup that someone refuses to hold. Let them go thirsty until they are ready to receive.”- Rumi. This wisdom was found on Instagram, and definitely ‘spoke to me. My life is, was, and perhaps always will be cluttered by people who take, who do not give – who bring nothing to the table (So to speak).
Bring nothing to the table is most probably an idiom. It is. I am told: “You can use this expression when you want to indicate that a person or a thing does not offer any value or benefit” I was further informed. “Use “bring nothing to the table” when you want to emphasize a complete lack of contribution or value in a particular situation. It’s most effective when highlighting someone’s or something’s ineffectiveness within a group or endeavor.”
Looking back ward (and forward) I would say that, at one point in time, it seemed as if they were going to bring something to the table. But what they did bring was either rotten or spoiled or dribbled away – they were occupying space at my table precluding the inclusion of someone who was bringing something to the table. What does one do?? Interpreting Rumi let them go hungry until they are ready to receive. In plain English:
“Excuse me, there is no room at this table for you any more. To be kinder. “Excuse me there is not room at my table at this time.” You see, to use another idiom – they want a free lunch and when they see it is not on the horizon they will leave and never come back.
Practically speaking – one stops reaching out to the freeloaders, when they are not being fed they do not respond. They sit in my WhatsApp archive file for awhile and then I clean house. There are many other idioms to describe the process. For example, Burn the bridges which means to make a decisive break with the past, stronger and more irreversible than ‘clean house’. Shed your skin: outgrow an old identity and way of living. Another fun expression is cut the deadwood – remove the people commitments or things that no longer contribute anything useful. Prune your life – deliberately remove what has become unnecessary so what matters takes the forefront. Any of these can work for you, they have for me.
Thinking of the aforementioned trio and their fate (or probably fates) I latched upon the concept of drama. I decided to ask Artificial Intelligence if their was anything resembling karma in the wish religion. I knew Hindus believed in Karma and the Islamic faith has a very complex and systematic version of drama. The answer was that the ‘closest ‘ Jews came to Karma was the saying in the Old Testament – measure/measure Two of the trio are Hindus – the other no fixed Faith.
Did some thinking – decided that people who bring nothing to the table are actually parasites. Thought I might of spoke about parasites in a prior blog. I did – many times actually. The one from September 9, 2019 particularly caught my eye. Oh What a Wonderful Day: Personal Driver, What Would I Do Without Him?; Wise Man Gives a Million Gold Stars; Parasite Defined; The Meaning of Life; Alexis With Flowered Cane.
I was mind boggled, stupefied, shocked etc etc. If you link it you will see a photo of me with a flowered cane This was about two weeks after my right knew replacement surgery. I do not recall having a flowered came – no idea where I purchased it. This is eerie beyond belief. I now have a flowered came – purchased at a KL charity in November of 2025. They look alike. I will include a photograph of me with the came of today. Do not know what to think of it. I was impressed when I read the blog. I am SO funny -not quite two weeks post op and joking about bumper stickers. I did continue to thrive, not just survive. Went to physiotherapy diligently. At four weeks I was where most other patients were at twelve. Therefore, I rewarded myself with a trip to London and stayed at the Pestana Chelsea Bridge Hotel. Met a ‘Sultan’ at that hotel, Honest to goodness. First Arab I had ever seen. But come to think of it, he turned into a parasite. Hmmmm. He lives in Dubai now – nobody’s favorite place to live at this moment. Such a strange life I have led.eous wild that prays for me,
Nowadays my life is peaceful, and somewhat ordinary. Just the occasional parasite. Hahaha, Their attrition rate is shorter. At one time in my life I would marry the parasite. Then the time frame was considerably shortened. . At first it was years, then barely a year, then months, now i down to days and just twice overnight. Woke up blocking. Hahaha Progress is being made. Pleas remember this. Allah does not insist on perfection, just progress.
But now onto something more important than my rather, at times, mundane life
(Mundane very ordinary and therefore not interesting. Used in an interesting sentence or two: However, many narrators wrote only reluctantly, suspecting that their life stories were too mundane to be of any interest to anybody.: So far, people’s mundane, ‘ this world ‘, and secularist perspectives on life after death have been highlighted, perhaps to excess).
It is now back to the Islamic faith.
A saying resonates wit me. There is a famous saying that says that the ink of scholars outweighs the blood of martyrs, It is not an authentic hadith but it echoes authentic teachings about beneficial knowledge. There Is an authentic Hadith that says “When a human dies all of his deeds come to an end except beneficial knowledge, ongoing charity and a righteous child who prays for him. “ As I did not have children, I must rely upon beneficial knowledge and ongoing charity.
Beneficial knowledge also plays an important concept to me because of three meaningful Invocations.
“O Allah! Let me benefit from what you have taught me, and teach me what benefits me, and increase me in knowledge”
“O Allah! I ask you for beneficial knowledge, good sustenance and acceptable deeds.” .
“Oh Allah, Grant me understanding of the religion.”.
I did in the past write about charity. This from my March 6, 2026 blog.
There are two main categories of in Islam. “Charity” isn’t just one thing. It is split into two distinctive ‘versions’: Zakat (The Obligatory) which is one of the Five Pillars.. It is a mandatory “purification” of wealth (usually 2.5% of surplus wealth held for a year). It isn’t seen as a “gift” from the rich, but as a right of the poor. It is a divine tax, in a way.
Then there is Sadaqah (the voluntary) .This is what most people mean by “charity.” It is given out of the goodness of one’s heart to seek God’s pleasure. There is no limit or fixed percentage.
Charity is not only about money The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) famously said:“Every good deed is a charity.” (Sahih Muslim) According to the Hadith it could include
- Removing a harmful object (like a stone or branch) from the road.
- Helping someone with their luggage.
- Smiling at your brother. (Yes, a smile is officially charity in Islam!)
- Speaking a kind word.
- Guiding someone who is lost.
Then there is a specific type of “Everlasting Charity” called Sadaqah Jariyah (The Gift that Keeps Giving)“ It refers to an investment in something that continues to benefit people after you are gone. Some examples are:
- Digging a well.
- Building a school or hospital.
- Planting a tree that provides shade or fruit.
- Passing on beneficial knowledge (which is sort of what I am doing by researching this and then ‘publishing’ it. .
In Islam, charity isn’t just a suggestion; it’s a system. We have Zakat (the right of the poor over our wealth) and Sadaqah (the voluntary expression of faith). More importantly, the Prophet (PBUH) taught that charity isn’t just about Ringgits—it’s about character. Even a smile or a kind word counts. Regarding the verses that many mentioned, when looked at in context (Tafsir), they actually encourage the ‘hand that gives’ over the ‘hand that takes,’ reinforcing the importance of being charitable whenever possible. This is an important discussion to have at this time of year when charity is being so ‘promoted’ Remembering that the Prophet said that charity is a smile and during Ramadan we should be smiling and not just giving money to some online specious so-called charity. And hey when one is fasting – a smile can be SO important. I have “Ramadan fatigue” it sets in when my inbox and social feed are flooded with polished ads for massive, faceless charities. While big NGOs do important work, it often feels transactional—like you’re just clicking a button to “clear” your religious obligation. The Prophet’s (PBUH) definition of a smile is a perfect counter-argument to “specious” online campaigns.”
It is beginning to seem like I have spoken about EVERYTHING in the past. Oh well. Photos will be of the healthy breakfasts I have been eating. As you shall read in a subsequent blog, I am on a ‘health kick’. I need to live longer to enhance my beneficial knowledge and ongoing charities.
