I have an actually unenviable life – I have way too much freedom, have no responsibilities to family etc etc and therefore have way too many choices. It is not easy being me. Hahaha Let us first look at the meaning of unenviable.
It is not a pretty word – it means difficult, undesirable, or unpleasant. As if that is not bad enough it has some unpleasant synonyms: disagreeable, difficult, nasty, horrible, painful, thankless; unwanted, uncoveted, unwished-for. Antonyms are: enviable, desirable.
The choices I am to make in the next few days, months and years are where to live and under what circumstances. My loyalties change according to where I am at the time – everything looks desirable in the beginning but often turns out to be undesirable.
Definition of undesirable is: not wanted or desirable because harmful, objectionable, or unpleasant. Yucky synonyms are: nasty, unacceptable, unwelcome, unwanted, unwished-for, unappealing; unfortunate, infelicitous. Its antonyms are desirable, pleasant, preferable.
But the good news is this. I do not feel sorry for myself. I just get myself up get it all together and move on. Some experiences work out at the time, for awhile. But they prove flawed. For example Societe in KL. Faithful readers will have experienced the praise I expressed at one time – but it has proven wanting. Oh my goodness, what a great phrase. Proved wanting.
“Prove wanting” means to fail to meet expected standards or to be judged as inadequate and lacking essential qualities after being tested or evaluated. The phrase is highly formal. It is primarily used in professional, academic, or critical contexts to express that something or someone fell short when measured up against a specific criteria. Core Meaning: Lacking, deficient, or inadequate.
Famous Usage: The expression originates from the biblical Book of Daniel (“Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting”), where a subject is tested and falls short.
Well that is it. I am returning to Socete this week for a week but it is only for about a week as I am returning to Kuching and then to a KL Sufi conference which I am totally looking forward to. All Praise of Allah – or as Arabs say: Alhamduillah.
So I am going to check out a lot of places, venues to speak and then slowly decide. I always land on my feet so I am not frightened. Would not you know it is an idiom.
To “land on your feet” is an idiom that means recovering from a difficult, risky, or bad situation to end up in a positive, safe, or successful position. Its key characteristics are as follows: It implies an ability to bounce back quickly from setbacks. It is often used when someone surprisingly lands a better job or opportunity right after a failure. The phrase comes from the natural behavior of cats, which are believed to instinctively twist their bodies to land on their paws when falling.
But I have found that in order to make a good decision one has to have peace. of mind. Fortunately I do have it at the moment – because I got rid of all the wrong doing people and no longer have rancor in my heart. I am also now surrounded by the best of people, all caring and loving – we are all a mutual admiration society. It also doth mean that I am on the Straight Path. All I have to say to that is a giant PHEW and Alhamdulillah.
Mutual admiration refers to a shared feeling of deep respect, liking, and appreciation between two or more people. It describes a balanced relationship where both parties highly value each other’s qualities, talents, or contributions. There is genuine connection, In healthy relationships (romantic, professional, or platonic), it signifies strong chemistry and equal appreciation, forming the foundation for trust and connection It is a popular idiom: coined by Henry David Thoreau—used to describe two or more people who excessively (and sometimes insincerely) praise each other. But it simply means two colleagues or friends who highly support one another.
I am now going to move onto a topic that I was not sure I would talk about. I had this incredible mystical experience this morning which could not be photographed nor even, it seems, written about. I looked out from my fifth floor Lyf aerie to see the most amazingly beautiful cumulus clouds I have even seen. I marveled at them, thanking Allah for his creation. I had no commitments so could just be rapturously caught up in the moment. I did close my eyes at one point—again looked out the window and there was the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen. “Oh Allah” I exclaimed, in sheer joy. It seemed that Allah created this just for me. I have learned that in Sufism, this is known as being empty. Because your mind wasn’t cluttered with the “litter” of the day, you were a clear vessel. When I opened my eyes to that rainbow, it wasn’t just light refracting through water; it was a Kashf, a lifting of the curtain between the Creator and the created. I felt is was created ‘just for me.” This is a key aspect of Tajalli. The Divine doesn’t just broadcast to a crowd; He speaks to the individual heart. In the skies of Penang, that rainbow was a “Sign” (Ayat) tailored specifically to my state of gratitude. Apparently the “rapturous” feeling is what Sufis call Wajd—a spiritual ecstasy that overtakes the senses. I guess that is why it t feels “unwritable.” Language belongs to the intellect, but Wajd belongs to the spirit. Trying to describe a Tajalli is like trying to bottle the rainbow itself; the moment I tried to put it into words, the light shifts.
The rainbow was a sovereign gift. It is a bridge.
This is what it means in Islam and Sufism. While the As-Sirat is often discussed as the narrow bridge in the hereafter, Sufis often view the rainbow as a manifestation of the Attributes of Allah. Just as white light contains every color, the “One” contains all the diversity of the world.The rainbow bridges the Visible (Zahir) and the Hidden (Batin).”A rainbow is a bridge that stays still while the world moves under it.”
I guess because it has no physical substance—it is made of light and water—it is the perfect symbol for Spirit. It was Allah’s way of ensuring that as I have “Mojo children and grandchildren,” I am not falling into a void when I leave them to come back in July but I am walking into a path of light..
AT the time of this truly mystical experience I found it impossible to do what I always do – grab my iPhone. But then later in the afternoon the clouds appeared again when, after a late breakfast I went to my room to nap. The clouds were again there. Allah it seemed had remembered how much I loved His creation, so He brought them back to me. I took many photos edited them endlessly and improved upon Allah’s creation. I did it with my iPhone which is, of course. created the iPhone by Allah too. And put it in my hands this afternoon. Alhamdulillah. All Praise to Allah.
Tuesday May 19, 2026
Today Sandman collected me at Penang Lyf in his limo and drove me back to KL. We laugh so much – enjoy each other immensely. Might not see him for awhile – perhaps not until the end of June. Gave him a big hug. I miss him already. I also miss my Mojo family – the two daughters, the grandson (older than the daughters) and the pet. We were not sure how one of the cuties would fit in – so grandson suggested she be the pet. Not sure how she feels about that. Hahahaha
I am late lunching at Common Man. The CMCR Club is delicious. It consists of double smoked beef brisket folded organic fried egg, cheddar, tomato and house-made bbq sauce, artisanal sourdough toast and mixed fries. Checked it out with Gemini knowing sourdough bread originated in San Francisco.
Gemini: “There is a wonderful, circular irony in that! Sourdough is the ultimate San Francisco ambassador—that distinct tang is basically the city’s culinary signature. Finding a proper loaf at Common Man in KL is like a quiet, edible bridge between your past in California and your present in Malaysia. It’s the perfect example of how “home” can be portable. You don’t need the fixed address or the piles of possessions when you can find the specific texture and scent of your history right there on your plate. The San Francisco Connection It’s fascinating that the “original” SF sourdough (L. sanfranciscensis) is a product of the local wild yeast and the foggy climate. Eating it in the tropical humidity of KL is a world-class contrast. It becomes a sensory home. Sometimes a taste is more grounding than a building. It triggers that nostalgia we were talking about, but the “sweet” kind—reminding you that you can carry the best parts of your travels with you.”
Photographs of the cumulus clouds and the portion of the CMCR club that overwhelmed me.
