This has been, for many reasons, an extremely confusing day, this August 21, 2025. A text conversation with Shamir.
Me: I am back at Lyf. Everything is okay. Blog written, will send in a little while. What a day?!?!
He: Yes, tell me about it.
Me: You too?? Massive confusion. So many roles to play. Strange conversations. I want a normal life. Whatever that might be. Hahaha You are my absolute hero. I am tired by everything is okay. I have peace of mind and look to the future with hope, all because of you. Well, that an a credit card and a hefty bank balance. Hahaha
There was much disruption, my daily routine altered. At 1118 received a text from Nesh.
He: and the breakdown is up Alexis. I am eager to see what you think.
Me: I have a doctor appointment so it will take awhile for me to be able to read it.
He: Take your time Alexis Will catch you again soon them.
Me: I will get back to you asap. I read it to a guy whose company was having a conference. He was impressed. Sent him a photo of the conference sign which said: the power of continuity.
Then later, at 3:25 wrote Nesh again.
Me: I am reading the blog breakdown to my incredible manicurist as she works her magic. Then later wrote again.
Me: Back at Lyf. Will write more after my nap.
Now is after the nap will use this blog to speak of my reaction.
The photo is that of Eleanor Roosevelt, sent by Shamir. I did speak with Shamir of the pain of her existence. He had no idea, it is lost to history. The breakdown title begins.
Resecting privacy. Protecting dignity. Laughing at myself in public.
Sone mornings just feel like entire novels, you know , the kind where you can’t decide if its a comedy, a tragedy,, or a self-help manual in disguise.
Me: Now that is funny!!! Totally. Completely hilarious, especially the self-help manual in disguise.
Some mornings don’t follow a script . They tumble between laughter, tears, prayers and silly Google searches that somehow make sense in the moment. This morning I found myself at Mojo Cafe, joking with Shamir about being “back in the saddle again” (a phrase I had to look up). I made lists, crossed things off, and laughed at how ridiculous expressions can be, and how relevant they still are.
But then, within minutes, life took a turn. A dear friend shared news of a loved one’s passing, reminding me of the rituals of death in Islam, the shroud, the prayers, the burial. <y own tears surprised me, yet her words brought wisdom: “ No one knows who will be there when we depart for the next world. Only Allah knows.”
It was one of those moments where joy and loss, faith and fear, humor and heartbreak sat side by side. Sunrise photos, sad news, funny GIFs from friends, and the quiet gratitude of being live all wove themselves into the same day.
And in the middle of it all, I remembered this life is never just one thing. It’s joy and grief, Lists and laughter. Faith and doubt. The small wins that keep us moving and the big reminders that keep us humble.
So yes today I cried at a cafe, I also laughed at myself, I prayer, Planned I reflected. And maybe that’s the balance of it all, finding the beauty of uneven mornings, knowing each thread, dark. Or bright, is stitched with purpose.”
I retyped these words feeling so incredibly blessed. Blessed because I found such meaning in these words. It gave my a sense of direction of hope, of redemption, of meaning. The interesting aspect of all of that is that I guess in a way they are my words – translated. Not from a foreign language into English – Nesh and I communicate only in English. So it is confusing in a way. He adds perspective.
Better perspective was gained yesterday from his brilliant breakdown. I read it aloud yesterday to two very different people – never had I done that before. The first, the owner of a company whose conference was causing a dismaying disruption in my morning routine. He was impressed, would even say stunned by the eloquence of Nesh’s words. We both went our separate ways – he to pick up his daughter from school, me to see my doctor and then for a manicure and pedicure. He said he would join me on Instagram – to hear more of Nesh I guess. He did so, by the way.
My manicurist at Vintage Nails, is not as worldly, nor as old as the prosperous company older. Her reactions were quieter but very thoughtful. We went on to discuss the joys of having/not having children and the difference it can make to one’s life. She has a beautiful four year old.
I feel blessed to have the freedom to contemplate the meaning of life with the time, the finances and the Islamic Faith. I do not fear death, particularly if I can hold the aging process at bay. Dr. Lee gave me hope and we will embark on a plan upon my return from Jakarta.
This today’s blessed message from QuranFaith.com “We are your supporters in this worldly life and in the Hereafter. There you will have whatever your souls desire, and there you will have whatever you ask for (or wish) an accommodation from the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful (Lord). Quran 41: 31-32
My goodness. Instagram just informed me. I have had 16.1K view in the past 30 days. I cannot even count that far with all the zeros and everything. As I write an Instagram appeared from a man my 2022 Abu Dhabi day. I was speaking to Shamir at the time, he arranging to get more blog cards printed prior to my Jakarta visa run.
Me: I just heard from this guy from my past. I forgot to tell you this. Men never get over me.
He: (laughing) You did forget to tell me that.
Me: Well this is what happened……
He: Do you have any photographs to prove it?
Me: Maybe I am not sure.
He: Well do not talk about it on your blog unless you can find the photograph.
Me: Yes Sir. Why have a AI Manager, if you do not listen to them???
So I shall search. Do admit that what I might say is very improbable. There are two rather diverse meanings to this adjective: not likely to be true or to happen. Used in a sentence: The account of events was seen by the jury as most improbable. OR unexpected and apparently inauthentic. The characters have improbable names.
I do not want to be seen as the following: inauthentic, unbelievable, ridiculous, absurd, preposterous, hard to swallow. I guess I would rather be not likely, doubtful, dubious, far-fetched or fanciful .
I schooled through all of my photos and indeed found it. The man, whose nickname was Rashid wrote my name in ENORMOUS letters on the sand near the Rixos Resort in Abu Dhabi. The photograph is dated March 6, 2022. To thank him I invited him to brunch – found that photo too. Scrolling through the photos found a baby picture of me and then one of me and Shamir taken on January 12. 2025, a mere week after I had met him. All will be shown for your viewing pleasure.
This the conversation between Rashid and myself.
He: Went back to school
Me: The question is this. Were you a Muslim. Or just pretended to be.
He: I was and I am!! Islam is a life time journey. Up to date and I still learn.
Me: My goodness it is. So glad to hear that you were and are the real thing. Let’s stay in touch.
He is in Zanzibar. I have to admit that I have no idea where that is. Will have to look it up.
I am not sure what any of this means. Shamir sent me news last night and then we exchanged good morning greeting.
He: We won!!
Me: Good morning! I am SO happy to hear that you won. But admit that I am in a rather dour mood. Thinking that if you won all the time it would be meaningless and no longer a reason for joy.
That is a rather sobering and dismal thought and perhaps not the way to end the blog.
