I thought, believed, was absolutely certain, I had made the best plans for Ramadan. I have my Ajwa dates, I have my Ensure, I have my electrolytes. I have food for Sohour for three days and can operate my microwave with ease. Decided upon my focus – Fazil’s thesis supplemented by a look backward, examining my prior Ramadan blogs, comparing both my state of mind and the conditions surrounding me at the time.
Set the alarm, allowing time for Fajr prayer, the preparation and consumption of tasty food and then peacefully watch the sun rise on this blessed first day of Ramadan. Woke up with a terrible cough and absolutely no energy. Went through the motions, doing what was mandated. Even the sunrise let me down, no vivid colors, no clouds. Dragged myself off to bed – sleeping for two and a half hours.
I began to write this lament, perhaps it will not rise to a lament. Perhaps I am merely bemoaning, objecting, making a fuss about my thwarted plans. I think of that expression: the best laid plans of mice and men are apt to go astray. (I NEVER know how or why these rather trite expressions come to my mind, but they do constantly) Then I HAVE to look it up, which I am not doing. “The best-laid plans of mice and men oft’ go awry” is a famous line from a poem by Robert Burns—written to a mouse whose house suddenly gets plowed over by a farmer, despite the mouse’s careful planning.” Translated it means that the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.
The writing stopped at this point, everything was awry, I was most discouraged. Went back to sleep, waking two and a half hours later receiving two WhatsApp greetings. The first a Ramadan Mubarak ‘sticker, with the caption Selamat Berpusa. . The second a three minute reel: Sunday morning. A car driving through the scenic Amalfi coast to the song: Its A Beautiful Day. Send back a voice message with thanks saying it was so helpful, focusing me on the beautiful day and not my infection.
I was cheered and happy, almost involuntarily. A perfect combination of messages- supporting my fasting and observance of Ramadan but reminding me to appreciate the beautiful day. The thoughtfulness and empathy of that individual amazed me. It seemed he possessed something I had heard of but never explored; the concept of emotional intelligence. As I gathered some strength during the day marked by sleeping, decided to look into it. You get to share.
Being emotionally intelligent means being in tune with your emotions and the emotions of others — being able to identify, manage and even anticipate how you or someone else may feel. Psychologist Daniel Goleman, PhD, coined the term in his 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.
Furthering my research found an excellent Cleveland Clinic article written by Dr. Grace Tworek, which thoroughly explains, elaborates and enlightens. I quote
“Emotional intelligence can help you stay calm and collected under pressure, manage awkward moments with grace and relate to just about anyone you meet. “Why? Because the higher your emotional intelligence, the better you are at understanding your feelings and the feelings of people around you. This can help you relate to people better, be more empathetic and remain grounded even amid difficult times.“The better we are at understanding and labeling our own emotions and why we may feel a certain way, the better we can gain insight into how other people might feel,” Dr. Tworek says. “It also gives us the insight to ask questions, rather than just assuming that each person might feel the exact same way that we feel.”
There are five components:
Self-awareness: Understanding your own feelings and emotions, including what triggers them.
Self-regulation: Knowing how to manage your emotions and impulses.
Motivation: Feeling inspired to set and achieve goals and to better yourself so you can grow as a person.
Empathy: Being able to understand where other people are coming from, even when their views, experiences and emotions are very different from your own.
Social skills: Engaging and interacting well with others, like in conversations and team settings”
Dr. Tworek than breaks emotional intelligence into four categories – two personal (the internal self), the other relational (relationships with other people)
Self-awareness. The ability to recognize and understand one’s own emotions.
Self-management.The ability to regulate your emotions, not fly off the handle when angry for example
Social awareness.Recognizing and understanding other people’s emotions and conveying emotions to others.
Relationship management. Interacting with empathy allows for resolving conflict, recognizing differences compassionately and working things through.
There is much more should you be interested, including tips on how to increase one’s emotional intelligence can be found at the December 21, 2023 edition of Cleveland Clinic. The link: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/emotional-intelligence-eq
Learning something new further cheered me helping me get through the day. More Ramadan Mubarak messages. Din, my driver, send a Ramadan Mubarak reel, Muslims from almost all of the countries of the world wishing fellow Muslims Ramadan Mubarak. But guess what? Nobody from Canada, no one from Malaysia, no one from Saudi Arabia – not sure what that says. Hahaha. Not planning to go back to Canada, nor to Saudi Arabia so I will not be sending greetings from there next year.
I ‘used’ social media in another way during the day. By coincidence looked at templates finding one with the music Its a Beautiful Day. Feeling inspired I coupled it with a photograph taken the day before while walking on the beach. Posted it on Instagram this morning. The little boy playing in the sand with determination. The caption read: “Yesterday went for a walk on the beach. This little boy with his shovel digging furiously. “What are you doing?I asked,. “Digging for crabs” his response. Earlier in the day the tune was sent to me. Needed the reminder as I woke up sick the first day of Ramadan. Ramadan Marbarek. And it was a beautiful day actually. The link: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DGuX1gKzNG0/?igsh=YzRmMjJmNXAydnJrWas texting with Shamir in traffic at sunset, which made me remember a fascinating sight; Muslims passing out food to those stuck in traffic for those stuck in traffic, otherwise not able to break fast.he reel of it is on Instagram. I must go back and see how many views it got. I did. So surprised. Saw it got 1.2 K views. Impressive! I pinned it so it can be seen at the beginning of my Instagram contributions. Its caption reads: Ramadan in Kohbar,, KSA. Volunteers give food and dates for those breaking their fast but not able to get home by sunset. What an incredible city with the best of traditions. Alhamduilliah
The link: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4qK9U-sNh3/?igsh=N2lic3IzMmd4NTNxIt is amazing how so many things come together but then apart.
Although I was to say on the reel of March 18,2024 that Kohbar and Saudi Arabia were great places I was to leave on April 28, 2024 – never in all probability to return. If I were there I would not be here – in an apartment overlooking the sea not in a hotel room overlooking a giant mall.
I may have something to look forward to at the end of Ramadan. I met the Joanne Kampohpoh during my Lyf days. We have stayed in touch with one another through Instagram. She sent the following message.
She: Hey Alexis I am going to link you up to a comedian in Penang called Garu. He runs comedy nights & also open mike night for people who want to try out a 3 minute spot. Would be good for u to flex you storytelling muscle.
Me: Maybe a good idea. But it is Ramadan my dear. I laugh as I write.
She: After April then .
Quite quickly I got things together. Texting back with this message.
Me: Things looking good, I have a driver and a one man audience who promises to laugh, And is Handsome. He is funny but says he has stage fright. I could get him drunk but who would drive home?????
She: Hahaha
Pious Muslims speak of Ramadan as a means of emerging as a better version of oneself. Not sure they would approve of me becoming a stand up comedian. It is to be remembered that making another Muslim happy makes Allah (SWT) happy. This is a Muslim majority country, there may be many in the audience. Shamir and I were speaking of my March 1, 2025 blog. The one where I laboriously attempted to find reasons for my readership based on where the cities in which they lived. Shamir brilliantly suggested that I should not be examining Where they came from but instead focus on the WHY – why are they rather habitually reading the blog. I laugh about my return to stand up comedy. Perhaps they want to live vicariously – an 81 year old woman living in Penang, Malaysia doing the occasional stand up comedy open mike night. Not something the average sane person would want to do.
Photographs from my beach walk, showing other children at play. Also the restaurant next door to the Kashmir with its Ramadan Mubarak decorations.
