Woke up yesterday morning, facing a difficult day with no companion to accompany me. Decided that what I needed was an emissary, but realized I had no idea what that was. Therefore, looked it up on the Internet because this is not an Ithra Day. I must say at the outset that it has been a rather disillusioning morning – reviewing Al Jazeera discovering that no progress has been made resolving the Gaza genocide – not only that dismal news but several Opinion articles discussing the abandonment of Palestine on the part of almost all of the Arab countries World events look utterly hopeless – utterly and completely.
If I an to go forth in the troubled world I shall need some help. An emissary just may be the solution to the problem. The definition sounds promising: a person sent on a special mission, usually as a diplomatic representative. There are many synonyms: envoy, ambassador, diplomat, delegate, attaché, legate, consul, plenipotentiary, minister; liaison, messenger, courier, herald, go-between. In the Roman Catholic Church is is called a nuncio. At that I laugh as I am a nun these days with the enforced celibacy and all. Wikipedia’s description of emissary referred me to Apostle (Islam), Islamic prophet or messenger. Then another link to this: “Prophets in Islam (Arabic: الأنبياء في الإسلام, romanized: al-ʾAnbiyāʾ fī al-ʾIslām) are individuals in Islam who are believed to spread God’s message on Earth and to serve as models of ideal human behaviour. Some prophets are categorized as messengers (Arabic: رسل, romanized: rusul, sing. رسول, rasūl), those who transmit divine revelation, most of them through the interaction of an angel. Muslims believe that many prophets existed, including many not mentioned in the Quran. The Quran states: “And for every community there is a messenger.”[1][2] Belief in the Islamic prophets is one of the six articles of the Islamic faith.:
There is much more, please feel free to follow the link. Then there is a discussion of Angels.
“In the Quran and tafsir, the term rasūl is also used for messengers from among the angels. The term is used in Quran 81:19, Quran 11:69–11, and Quran 51:26–11, and is also used for the servants of the Angel of Death. Exegetes usually distinguish the messenger angels (rasūl), who carry out divine decrees between heaven and earth, from the angels in heaven. In other (Alexis) words, interpreters say there are two job descriptions for angels – those who flit been heaven and earth and those that stay in heaven.”
There was an interesting quote that caught my eye: “And for every community there is a Messenger. “` Quran 10:47^ “Qur’an: The Word of God | Religious Literacy Project”. Harvard Divinity School. Archived from the original on 6 October 2018. That does expand the usage of the word Messenger, beyond what some strict Muslim traditionalists believe. They believe the last Messenger is the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH0. This certainly expands the manner in which Allah’s words may address current world events. I shall ponder this thought and expand my research at a later time.
The next dilemma more close to home – more correctly, more close to me and my identity.
A Case of Mistaken Identity; What is My Real Muslim Name;
Mistaken identity is : a situation in which someone or something is mistakenly thought to be someone or something else. Mistaken identity is a theme used by William Shakespeare in both his tragedies and comedies. Examples include Portia in “The Merchant of Venice”, who disguises herself as Balthazar the lawyer, and fools everyone she encounters, including her fiancé Bassanio; Rosalind in As You Like It, who disguises herself as Ganymede so as to teach Orlando how to love; and Julia in The Two Gentlemen of Verona, who disguises .herself as Sebastian, before she travels to Milan to investigate what has happened to her beloved Proteus.
Obviously, my case of mistaken identity is none of these, and bears to resemblance to the problem at hand.
This is my dilemma – seem to have more than one Muslim name, but initially found this to be most upsetting, I guess because of all the changes in my recent life – multiple, unexpected, consequential. All of those words describe my life of late. One would think that using the wrong Muslim name would be of minor consequence. But it was rather earth shattering in the beginning. For various complicated reasons Fatimah is not me – Alaa is. Well, Alexis remains me (to be perfectly clear) because to change my name officially is a monumental task. I have enough problems, being a refugee and dealing with the Canadian banking system, thank you very much.
I became of the Islamic Faith, (a Muslim) on October 20, 2020. It was not solemnized in any form. I was alone, in my San Francisco apartment. Repeated the five pillars in English from a book. . At that time I received a Muslim name by a woman of the Faith. I understood it to be Alya and that its meaning was Queen. But later found that the meaning was not Queen but rather high born, or exulted. I do not recall the manner in which I received the name as the woman who bestowed it upon me was in far away Qatar, but seems it was verbal.
Despite that, I was told Alya was not a Muslim name and I was given, instead, the name of Fatimah. This pronouncement occurred at the Zhayed Center in Abu Dhabi sometime during my residency in the UAE – from October, 2021 to May of 2022. It was there I first, led by a wonderful woman, repeated the Arabic words. It took probably half an hour because she kept correcting my Arabic. Mispronunciations. At the end we were both laughing and crying, with joyous emotion and chagrin. (Chagrin is distress or embarrassment at having failed or been humiliated.)
I was most comfortable with being Fatimah. Laughingly referred to myself as Sheikha Fatimah, and searched everywhere for my Ali – thinking that I would meet my Ali in Jannah.
However, it was suggested that I might have misunderstood my ‘original’ name and it actually could have been Ala – which has a different meaning from Fatimah. “Ala or Alaa (Arabic: علاء ‘alā’) is an Arabic male given name meaning “elevation, exaltedness, highness, loftiness, sublimity” or “honor and glory, might, power, dignity” or “prestige, greatness, noble, high in rank” or “eminence, glorious, grandeur” or “high in position and status”. However, the name could be used as a female given name. Other definitions include: Elevation; Exaltedness; Power; Greatness; Goddess of fertility, Goddess of creativity.
That should be good news but at first it was absolutely not. It became a form to identity crisis.
What is an identity crisis? An identity crisis is defined as a period of uncertainty or confusion in a person’s life. This crisis occurs when a person’s sense of identity becomes insecure and unstable. An identity crisis usually occurs when there’s a change in a person’s life.Goodness knows I have been undergoing changes in my life – multiple, unexpected, consequential – all of those words. This ‘event’ , one would think would be minor., it was not. It was agonizing.
At first I tried to solve the dilemma using my legal skills. Deciding that my ‘Muslim name’ of Fatimah was given under false pretenses which is a deceptive act or false appearance. . I could make a case for that, the legal remedy would be the ability to shed the name of Fatimah. I could explain why it was false pretenses but it would be lengthly, most negative and unnecessary. Simply put (with a modicum of anger) the Zayhed Center is like everything in the UAE – deceptive, motivated by greed and the ‘profit motive’, everything for money to be deposited in the country’s banks owned by royalty.
Modicum is a little bit, speck, crumb, grain, morsel, taste, shred, mite, dash, , tinge, dab, snippet, sliver, smattering, scintilla, smidgen. .
Such a convoluted approach was not necessary. Met a Kuwaiti couple at breakfast, two mornings in a row. Told them of my dilemma, a solution suggested and reached with elation. If I had not used Fatimah on any official documents I was free to change my name at will. No one, other than me (and of course Allah (SWT) had any say in the matter. .
The Kuwaiti man and his wife were also helpful in the following manner. I was, in my usual modus operands mispronouncing words. Allah and Alaa were sounding the same – I certainly did not want to be confused with THE GOD, which is the meaning of ALLAH. I was to pronounce AL (the) strongly but the Al in my Muslim name softly.
Now I am most happy. My November !, 2023 blog was a lengthily explanation of the meaning of Fatimah and Alexis. I am not happy with the meaning of Alexis – the Defender of Men. But joyous to be considered the Goddess of Creativity. As I keep saying – nothing is perfect. Look at it this way if everything was perfect there would be no scope for improvement. Improvement is the most essential aspect of human survival and existence. Do remember that Allah does not expect perfection, only progress
Or in the words of Lizzo ”I am imperfect, but I am perfectly imperfect.” Then as Wolfgang Riebe said: ”No one is perfect, that’s why pencils have erasers.”
Being Alaa is freeing. Alaa is a Goddess of Creativity, The Highness, and the Loftiness making up for my short stature. Moreover, I do not need to be looking for a man called Ali for the purpose of marriage either in this dunya nor in Jannah, where the date selection would be better. Problem solved. I am happy.
This portion of the blog is being written at the Ritz Carlton is Bahrain, a short drive from Khobar. It is complicated but I came back to the Ritz to pick up my luggage which was not here when I left. (I told you it was complicated, and not worth explanation). I am happy to report that I am reunited with some of my worldly goods. I am even happier to report that I was upgraded to a Junior Suite – even without asking. It is huge with a balcony overlooking the sea. It is WOW. This morning when going for breakfast I put on my chef’s hat (a gift from the Ritz during my past stay). Took a photo, sending it to WhatsApp friends. The breakfast chefs did not require any assistance, but, just in case, I was prepared.
I received a Royal Welcome – everyone saying Welcome Back. I was able to tell everyone that I could visit often as it is only s short ride and easy border crossing between the two countries. I was able to get a much needed manicure accompanied by a leg and foot massage. I am truly blessed. Now off to enjoy the many luxuries of the Ritz, perhaps take a photo of the pink flamingos.
Photograph of me in the Chef’s hat and one or two of the framed pictures on the walls of this luxurious Junior Suite.
