I woke in a timely manner for Fajr prayer, it is helpful to be awake and alert for Fajr prayer, otherwise one just goes through the motions. This was a well considered, thoughtful, respectful and thankful prayer. I have outlined my tasks for early morning, pre-breakfast.
The first was to read my prior blog, which thankfully was posted and seems almost error free. The second is write this blog which shall be a difficult task as it shall not be positive and in many ways, speaking of this situation makes me heartsick.
Heartsick is a perfect word for the emotion I am feeling when writing this. Heartsick: despondent, typically from grief or loss of love. It is a loss of love, this was a trusted and esteemed person who proved not worthy of my love, who stole from me, who manipulated me who caused me much distress.
Looking at the synonyms it is fascinating to see how many of them begin with the letter d, and how many involve the heart. The d words begin with despondent, dejected, dispirited, disheartened, discouraged, depressed, desolate, downcast, down, disappointed. The ones involving the heart: sick at heart, heavy-hearted, broken-hearted, heartsore. Woebegone has to be my favorite however.
In Islamic though, the heart is considered the core of human beings encompassing not only physical and emotional aspects but also intellectual and societal aspects. It serves as a connection between individuals and the larger, transcendent realms of existence.
The heart, (qulb) is mentioned thirty two times in the Quran. This beautiful quote is found in Wikipedia
The heart is not a center of our being; it is the supreme center, its uniqueness resulting from the metaphysical principle that for any specific realm of manifestation there must exist a principle of unity. The heart is the barzakh or isthmus between this world and the next, between the visible and invisible worlds, between the human realm and the realm of the Spirit, between the horizontal and vertical dimensions of existence – William Chittack, The Essential Seyyed Nasr, 2007.
I shall delve right in to this. “To delve in” means to dig in, whether with a spade into dirt (the original version of the word in 9th century Old English) or whether more abstractly (a more recent meaning), with an inquisitive mind, analyzing something or searching for further information.
This was the text exchange that ended a relationship that spanned over seven months.
Me: I have lost all faith in you. You seem to be doing your very best to destabilize me. I have tried I suppose for the sake of your esteemed mother to put this aside, to not realize this. I fear you are, in Arabic, a Mukhtal Eagliana. As you can see I have studied the problem extensively. I am now trusting that Allah (SWT) will guide me. No more jokes. Just pity I guess. My anger and my humor are not a solution to my existence in this foreign land. Like Blanche DuBois I shall rely on the kindness of strangers.
Mukhtal Eagliana is a the Arabic word for psychopath. It was very revealing to find that such a word exists in the Arabic language.
This message, on a very stressful day, was sent at 6:39 am. The stress had been caused by the malignant individual’s failure to follow through, making necessary reservations although there would be no reason why it would take so long, Deliberate destabilization leads to dependency, dependency leads to losing one’s power., turning one into a compliant victim.
Then at 7:17 I sent him a reel posted on Instagram with the following caption. I rose above your abuse of me. Alhamduillah!
The Instagram post was one I made from the Ritz
He finally responded at 10;52
He: What is going on?
But I had finally learned, finally listened to Allah (SWT). Several times a day all Muslims repeat as a part of their opening prayer.
“You alone we worship. You alone we ask for help Guide us to the straight path, the path of those you have blessed, not those who have earned Your wrath or those you have gone astray.”
Knowing the importance of staying away from the noxious individual with his charms, being either funny or angry with him which diffused the emotions and made me vulnerable, I merely replied:
Me: Ask Allah (SWT)
I have not heard from him since. Subsequent reflection has brought a measure of relief. I had much affection for his ‘esteemed mother’ but now am convinced that she is an enabler. I hoped and prayed that she should die before learning of her son’s true nature. Now I think that she knows and enables him to manipulate, use and exploit others such as me.
I find comfort from a tiny book which she be pictured called The Fortress of Tawhid. For some reason I have it with me at the moment, although most of my books are in limbo.
I randomly opened it and came upon this page.
“21 And (he Shaytan) swore by Allah to them both saying Verily I am one of the one of the sincere well-wishers for you).
So, Beware of him and his followers among slanderers. Thus, how many of their false oaths, betrayal, treacherous covenants and luring words for seducing and deceiving human. May Allah protect me and all of you and all of the Muslims from the evil of Shaytan and the afflictions of deceivers, and the aberration of deviated, and the confection of Allah’s enemy, those who intent to put out the light of Allah with their mouths, and intent to confuse the people in the religion, but Allah will bring His light to perfection and He is The Helper of religion even though Allah’s enemy amongst Shaytan and his followers from unbelievers and atheists hates it.”
Returning to my encounter with Ibraham, my discovery of his psychopathology and the questions made at the time. What is my responsibility as a Muslim when I uncover such evil. In this instance I am unsure at this time as it is part and parcel of a much greater evil. As I said to another travel guide:
Me: The tourism business in Saudi Arabia is corrupt to its core.
At the moment, however, I am busy landing on my feet and getting on with my life, Going to the best that Saudi Arabia has to offer.
There shall now be an attempt at humor. The other day, after the Hisham’s rescue and retrieval of the AirPod from the watery deep of the Jacuzzi, I took a photo of his name tag so that I could extend my gratitude to his boss,
Me: What is your job? What are your responsibilities?
He kindly turned his back to me. His shirt said Lifeguard. I laughingly took a photograph which shall be featured.
I am now writing after breakfasting on mashed potatoes, my favorite food. And a flat white coffee. A couple more chores to complete and then it is off – my first visit to Ithra. This travel information comes to you from the Internet. . .
“When the King Abdulaziz Center for World Culture, known as “Ithra” (“enrichment” in Arabic), opened in 2018, it became an instant icon. This is partly because of its award-winning design, the result of a competition won by the renowned international architectural firm Snøhetta; the building’s organic forms represent a group of mutually supporting stones (“petroleum” literally means “rock oil” in Latin) wrapped in 360km of steel pipe. Yet Ithra is no less striking for its scale and ambitious vision as Saudi Arabia’s first all-cultural destination, and having earned Gold LEED status for both its green construction and operations, Ithra is an icon of sustainability. It was named by TIME Magazine in 2018 as one of “the world’s greatest 100 places to visit”; it’s a structure that must be seen to be believed. Within Ithra’s 80,000 square meters of space, visitors will find a five-gallery museum, theater, library, cinema, a great hall, the Idea Lab and the Ithra Tower – all connected by an extensive plaza. Because of its scale, numerous art installations and unique architecture, it can easily take you a full day to appreciate what Ithra has to offer.”
I cannot imagine a more perfect place for me to be. Read about it next. I shall end this blog with a measure of hope for all. Good always prevails over evil. It may take some time, and cost you some money but it the end there is satisfaction. I consider the money I spent on the noxious man’s ‘outings’ as charity and the price of investigative journalism. I have seen from the inside what really goes on. Let us put it this way: It is not pretty.
