Do realize that I have become somewhat serious, and therefore, boring of late. It is because of a tendency to over think everything, It is a dreadful trait as most things subject to my overthinking are really, quite simply, none of my business. I will not burden anyone with my major concerns of the day but all are issues that I am absolutely powerless to effect in any way, shape or form. There are injustices in society, that an actual fact – people get into a pickle or a jar of pickles and cannot rescue themselves. I have a tendency to make these people’s problems my problem This is boring, beyond belief, to me – and would be to you if I wrote about it. Therefore I shall spare you and instead entertain you – for at least this one blog.
I shall begin with tested and true Andy Borowitz, another stinging satire. This concerns the USA (as usual) but not politics, (for a change). This is about the entertainment industry: “In his weekly appearance on “Fox News Sunday,Chris Wallace told his viewers that he was “ecstatic” about never having to ride an elevator with Tucker Carlson again. “After eighteen years at Fox, I’m excited about my next chapter,” a visibly giddy Wallace said. “And that’s because I’ll never again share an elevator with that unhinged sociopath Tucker Carlson.”Wallace revealed that for years he “dreaded” stepping into an elevator at Fox for fear of an unwanted encounter with the execrable Carlson.”
I am loath to admit this but I did not know the meaning of execrable, but now I do and so shall you. It is: extremely bad or unpleasant. Does that word have synonyms!! Look at them: appalling, awful, dreadful, terrible, frightful, atrocious, lamentable; disgusting, deplorable, disgraceful, reprehensible, shameful, abominable, abhorrent, loathsome, odious, heinous, hateful, detestable, despicable, foul, vile, scandalous, contemptible, repugnant, repellent, revolting, unspeakable, wretched, abysmal, diabolical, shocking, rotten, woeful, lousy, dire, the pits, godawful, tenth-rate, a load of pants. There are some people that have done me harm over the years, I relish confronting them in the following manner.
Me: You are execrable and all of the synonyms that accompany and explain the word.
He: What does that word mean?
Me: May I suggest that you do look it up yourself?
He: I will not!
Me: Don’t then! I am walking away from you anyway.
Then a shrug of the shoulders and off I trot. Perhaps I shall attempt to come across one, two or three of these individuals. It would be great fun!!
But back to Andy continuing in entertaining fashion: On the occasions when I found myself in the same elevator as that bastard, I’d stare at my shoes and pray he wouldn’t strike up a conversation,” Wallace said. “Those minutes seemed like hours.”“Even Hannity was better,” he added. Stressing that his decision to leave Fox “wasn’t about money,” Wallace said, “At CNN+, I’ll never have to ride an elevator with Tucker Carlson, and you can’t put a price tag on that.”
You can’t put a price tag on never having to be in Tucker Carlson’s elevator.” That is SO funny.
Yet again Andy enters the world of entertainment and gets at Hannity with this. “The Fox News host Sean Hannity sent a series of urgent texts on January 6, 2021, warning Donald J. Trump that the attack on the U.S. Capitol was boosting CNN’s ratings In the texts, released by the House select committee investigating the attack, Hannity described a doomsday scenario in which the insurrection helped lift CNN over Fox in the cable news ratings contest.”a
I do love how Andy ‘expects’ the worse of the people he satirizes. He continues to ridicule Hannity in the following manner. “CNN will get better numbers out of this than we will,” Hannity warned Trump. “A lot of our viewers can’t watch because they’re busy rioting.” The texts showed Hannity pleading with Trump to beseech the rioters to prevent CNN from reaping ratings gold. “You and I are on the same page as far as undermining democracy goes, but we need to think big picture here,” Hannity wrote.
Being on the same page as far as undermining democracy but, please instead, think about the big picture. That is ridiculously funny.
But back to the title, unmitigated means absolute and unqualified. This blog must continue in absolute and unqualified humor without a hint of seriousness. I do have some ideas. I plan to use some of my photographs.
The first photograph is from an Emeritus Castle menu. Grandson and I once ate in those palatial surroundings. There was one item on the menu that caught my eye – needless to say I did not order it – fried sparrow, I cannot imagine it, much less eat it. Not sure that this is funny come to think of it. Sparrows signaled the coming of spring in a wintery climate – I guess they serve a different role in a climate that knows no winter. A photograph of the Emeritus Castle is also attached – an utterly stunning hotel.
The next photograph is my right hand with its temporary three rings. Yesterday morning at breakfast I did something silly, which I found and the staff found most amusing. An extremely handsome Arab man was sitting at a nearby table. I am (sort of and casually) looking for a husband., so it seemed a good idea to catch his eye. But then suddenly realized that the rings on the third finger of my left hand might lead him to believe that I was married and, therefore, not available. I quickly and nimbly switched the two rings to the third finger of my right hand. A little later he left, nothing had happened, so it seemed a good idea to place them back on the left hand. Alas and alack, they were stuck, could to get them off as the third finger of my right hand must be bigger. Almost all of the staff were laughing in delight and glee when I told them the story. My new Nepalese granddaughter took the photo that you see. It should comfort all to know that the application of soap allowed the ring to be removed and placed back on its rightful place. No doing that again – I promise.
But much later remembered that respectful Muslim men are to avert their eyes when seeing a Muslim woman – out of respect. I do not object at all to this prohibition but this will definitely place an impediment into the husband hunt. An impediment is a hindrance or obstruction in doing something. It is an obstacle, barrier, bar, handicap, block, check, curb, brake, restraint, restriction, limitation, encumbrance, deterrent; drawback, setback, difficulty, problem, issue, snag, catch, hitch, stumbling block; fly in the ointment, hiccup, facer; monkey wrench in the works. So it is a fly in the ointment, a hiccup and money wrench in the works that there is a rule that Muslim men must avert their eyes when seeing a Muslim woman. There is a solution practiced by observant Muslims – a family member or friend introduces you to your intended. Oops – I know no family members or friends of eligible men. Back to the drawing board. Back to the drawing board is an idiom indicating that one’s effort has failed, and one must start all over again. The origin of this phrase is believed to come from an American artist named Peter Arno. He wrote a cartoon for the New Yorker in 1941. The cartoon consists of a crashed plane in the background, and there’s a man dressed in a suit walking away from the crash site, saying: “Well, back to the drawing board.”
Andy most recently posted another jewel, it concerns a politician but could be used to satirize anyone. “ As it emerged that Representative Jim Jordan sent a text to Mark Meadows outlining a plan to overturn the 2020 election, millions of Americans were stunned to learn that Jordan is capable of writing a text.“If this is true, then Jim Jordan has command of the English language and the capacity to assemble letters to form words,” Carol Foyler, a resident of St. Louis, said. “I have to admit I’m having trouble processing this.”
How funny, a woman cannot process Mr. Jordan’s ability to write a text. But there is more with Andy deftly involving Dr. Fauci. “Color me skeptical,” Harland Dorrinson, who lives in Akron, Ohio, said, “but, unless I see a video of Jim Jordan actually typing a text with his own thumbs, this so-called news story doesn’t pass the smell test.”Reports that Jordan is capable of writing a text also provoked amazement in a member of the scientific community, Dr. Anthony Fauci. “Much like COVID-19, there’s still so much about Jim Jordan we don’t know,” he said.
I do hope that you found this blog entertaining. The crisis confronted at the beginning of this week has been averted, news of the solution will be found in an upcoming blog. Everything is now falling into place nicely.