I am in a joyous mood I feel happier than at this moment then I have ever been, which is more than a little unusual considering surgery is coming my way in three days. This is a text conversation between AAA and myself.
Me: Do you have some time on Tuesday morning?? My surgery is at 1, think I probably have to get to the hospital at 11 but will get a definite time on Monday morning.
AAA: Hi Yes, I have some time around then.
Me: Absolutely Fantastic. I will text you on Monday norming when I have a definite admission time.
AAA: Okay, perfect.
Me: I am actually getting excited about it. Now that is weird. Hahaha
This has not exactly been a leisurely week. So many appointments, so many pre-surgery clearances to achieve, drugs to pick up, a huge checklist of things to do.
Monday’s appointment was with the dentist. Had a conversation with the Uber driver.
Me: Yes I am going to the dentist to get a clearance for my surgery and have my teeth cleaned, but do not feel sorry for me. I am going to get nitrous oxide also known as laughing gas.
He: You do not seem to be a person who needs laughing gas.
Me: That is what all the guys say. Hahahaha
Then sheer fortuity struck. The dental hygienist placed the nitrous oxide mask on my face and asked me what I wanted to watch on Netflix. Of course I chose Schitt’s Creek. So there I am inhaling laughing gas and watching the funniest program in the whole world, I am addicted to it. It was definitely necessary to share that moment so I did an Instagram reel. Much to my wonder and amazement it received 5K views. That is impressive!
The dentist, who is the son of the man who appears in the fabled story Mind the Gap (look on the search engine) examined the X-rays, saw no underlying infections and signed the clearance.
He: This is such a pleasure. Many times I am unable to provide this clearance because of infection and the surgery is delayed. But these people are not like you – I have not seen them in three years.
Me: Well I take good care of myself. Clean teeth feel so good and the nitrous makes the process even better. I wish I could come every day – get some nitrous, watch Schitt’s Creek and get thousands of Instagram views.
Then to my Primary Care Physician for a medical clearance. Faithful readers will know my PCP has been my PCP for about forty-three years. Very recently there was a family emergency, he was not in the office for weeks, he hired a woman physician who will continue partnering with him. She and I formed a very good relationship, we hit it off (so to speak). This was PCP’s first day back, his beloved wife died. His partner saw me, cleared me for surgery but he and I had the following conversation.
Me: I know you are back at work and that is good. I know that most of your patients will want to continue with you as they are resistant to change and have an intense loyalty to you. But I am thinking that your partner can become my doctor. She and I respect one another, and I am most comfortable with a woman doctor. As well, the Islamic faith would prefer that I have a woman doctor.
He: Alexis, thank you! I am afraid you are correct about some of my patients.
Me: So your feelings are not hurt or anything?
He: Of course not! I will be here checking on you.
Me: I know that, You has better be.
Then I gave him a great big hug. They both promised to come and see me during my hospital stay.
Then an appointment with my new financial planner and, finally lunch at my favorite restaurant, the Left Bank. AAA and I had a great time. In the good old days I loved their delicious French Onion Soup and a rare hamburger, but those days are gone because of the dietary restraints of the Islamic faith. I was talking to Eddie (one of the fabulous maintenance men here).
Me: Yes I love rare hamburgers. It was not possible to get them in London nor in Vancouver, so I looked forward to being in California and indulging myself.
He: So, Alexis. You like your hamburgers rare?
Me: Yes! I like my hamburgers and my men rare.
He: Alexis! You make me laugh.
So along came the next day which required a trip to the lab for blood work. I misjudged distances – thought it would be an easy walk from the lab to Left Bank. Mistake!! But I made it, enjoyed the Salade Nicoise on the second visit. It was absolutely delicious, by the way, I got the tuna rare. The staff at the restaurant treated my like a queen, well do not forget that my Muslim name is Ayla (which means Queen)
But the fun and games were not over. Yesterday it was off to physical therapy. This is such a good idea. The patient learns their exercise routine before the surgery so they know what to expect. The physical therapy office is across the street from where I live. Very impressive staff. My exercise plan includes a huge inflatable ball which I dutifully carried home. I looked ridiculous, clutching this big red ball. I got home and the following conversation took place between Freddie (the senior fabulous maintenance man and Alexis McBride)
He: Why did you buy the ball? There are balls in the fitness center.
Me: But I want my own ball! Hahahaha
He: Oh Alexis.
So every time he sees me – he mumbles in my direction, shaking his head.
He: I want my own ball. I want my own ball.
Hopefully a photograph of me and the ball will accompany the blog.
Monday will entail a visit to the hospital for a Covid test. Then an appointment with Holly for a mani and a pedi. As said earlier, D-Day was launched with less precision.
