The incredible wise, learned, brilliant Muslim cleric Zakir Naik spoke of important acts to be done during Ramadan. He said it was so important to be cheerful and happy. Well, goodness gracious, great balls of fire, that is me. It is particularly true and easy to do when one rids themselves of dysfunctional and, often evil, people taking up space in one’s life. It is most pleasurable to have done that – believe me.
Today is day one of Ramadan – probably the most difficult day but we shall see. It is off to the dentist for me later in the day. I jokingly said to a friend that nitrous oxide is not banned during Ramadan as it was not around 1400 years ago. My PCP said it was safe for me to fast during Ramadan suggesting I drink Gatorade for blood sugar etc. Now strict Muslims might disagree but Allah is quite flexible and forgiving. I am, after all, following my doctor’s orders.
Here is something most bizarre but true. It is the juxtaposition that makes it most unusual. I was talking to My Prince on the telephone and he was explaining the VERY complicated lineage of his family.
Me: Please stop for a minute so I can get a book and make a diagram. Wikipedia has it all wrong.
So I ran to my bookcase and got out a red notebook, and found a blank page. It is too complicated and rather unnecessary to explain but the most enlightening aspect is that the abdicated Emir is the man with all of the wives, not the current Emir. My Prince is the cousin of the reigning Emir of Qatar. The third wife that I met in London is the third wife of the Emir that abdicated in 2013 in favor of his son. So now I have things somewhat straight and there is a Crown Prince of Qatar who I met over WhatsApp on day last week.
This is strange enough but here is the very strange thing. The notebook is one I kept for years and years and years. The last entry is dated. 8/21/1985. This is what is written.
After an arduous siege of seven and a half years I swear that:
I will never live with a man who is not married to me.
I will never be involved with a man who does not meet my sexual needs.
I will never be involved with a man in a relationship in which alcohol is the ‘backbone’ of the relationship and the man.
I will never live with or be in a relationship with a man whom it is not safe to be angry
Now that is very noble of me but clearly this resolve got lost in the shuffle. . How do I know?
Husband #2 and Husband #3 did not meet the criteria – well except for the marriage part, . It was most sobering to read! I do recall the man that I had just left – was not married to him so a divorce was unnecessary but we had bought a condo together – there was a contract which I had drafted allowing for reimbursement upon the eventuality of our break up. But he did not honor it – so I sued him and won. A summary judgment ruled in my favor. He paid up – offering a smaller sum which seemed a better idea. I bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. That idiom was, of course googles and this the result: Its current form first appears in John Ray’s Hand-book of Proverbs (1670): ‘A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. ‘ There is a similar proverb in the Czech language: ‘A sparrow in the fist is better than a pigeon on the roof. So I got the cash in my hand faster” . Or in simpler language: meaning that having something, even if it is a lesser quantity, is better than taking the chance of losing it in order to attain something else that seems more desirable.
Opposing counsel, Don’s attorney y was Gary Ragghianti who may still be in practice here in Marin. Gary and I were rivals in many cases., joking with one another. He was the attorney for San Rafael at one point and I saw him on the street.
He: What are you doing in my town?.
I guess I always was funny and quite fast on my feet. At another time he publicly accused our office as being a sea of mediocrity. I called and said:
Me: Hello, it is Alexis. A wave on the sea of mediocrity. .
The irony continues. Apparently Gary neglected to file a quit claim deed – so the records on the property indicated that I still had an ownership interest and upon Don McCarthy’s death there were serious problems with probate. I was living in Vancouver at the time, was emailed by the Probate attorney who requested my signature on the necessary paperwork Walked to the American Consulate – a short walk from the Trump International Hotel and Tower where I lived for for four months as their first long tern guest and executed a quit claim deed.
But the strangeness continue. The probate attorney said that the daughter wanted to be in touch with me – she lived with Don and I, she was having problems with her mother and I suggested that she come and live with us. So there I was working full time, going to law school at night and mothering a teenager. I told the attorney that I would be happy to be in touch with her. Her first email brought tears to my eyes.
She: You do not know this Alexis but you made an incredible difference in my life.
We met twice, she lives/lived in New York. She came to California, visiting in my hotel of the moment and then I travelled to New York to see her. The plan was to go back to London to live, knew I would not be coming back to North America for a couple of years – so made a special trip to see her and her husband. But she lazily lost touch with me. I was such a great of a role model after all, said while laughing.
But another juxtaposition – My Princess was fourteen when I met her in London. We are very close to one another. Herr mother is not at all threatened by my presence in her daughter’s life and the mother did invite me to come and live with her and the family in a grand Doha palace. I am not altogether stupid – plan to at least visit first and the proximity of my PCP, Holly and Kim, Wise Man and my Vietnamese family would mean that I would not want to live there full time.
By the way juxtaposition is the fact of two things being seen or placed close together with contrasting effect. Its synonyms are: comparison, contrast; proximity, nearness, closeness.
This blog is not be written on day two of Ramadan – clearly I survived day one. It was rather difficult as utter exhaustion set in and I was hungry, complicated by the fact that I did not wake up before dawn so no breakfast for Alexis. The grand event of the day was a visit to my dentist of thirty-five years to have my teeth cleaned. It was my fourth try, as for various reasons nitrous oxide was not available. This time I scored! I now have clean teeth. AAA gave me a ride going to purchase flowers at nearby Safeway while I opened my mouth and inhaled the laughing gas. So today shall be flower arranging day.
Her is another strange proximity or juxtaposition. The abdicated Emir of Qatar (as I call him) has a space between his front teeth, a gap. I do love my gap, getting it back voluntarily after an absence of some years. The story was told some years ago – and is very funny. Type Mind the Gap into the search engine of this blog and the serialized version of the story will pop up. It was written as a class assignment during my Dominican University Master of Humanities Days. I may pen a sequel to Mind the Gap. Another errand of mercy performed by AAA and Alexis was to retrieve the revived Apple computer to give to AAA’s brother, Prince Andrew. He was most grateful.
The jacuzzi has been opened again – such joy!! It is a rather amusing story which shall be told in tomorrow’s blog. The plan of the day 1) finish this blog, 2) jump in the jacuzzi in my new bathing suit 3) visit Holly for a mani and pedi. This is commonly known as a Wonderful. Blessed life – not always like this, but is now.
Photographs are me and nitrous and my humble candelabra, lit up by Target candles. I am back on Instagram and did a video with my Alexis shirt and clean teeth. My Instagram name is Alexis McTwit – why I shall never know.