Well Andy did it again, Andy Borowitz that is. Always such a pleasure to awaken to his humour, always so timely and usually most subtle. This offering is entitled Coronavirus Thanks Ron Desanti for Making It Feel So Welcome At Spring Break. “MIAMI BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—In an exuberant endorsement of a 2024 Republican Presidential hopeful, the coronavirus thanked Florida’s governor, Ron DeSantis, for “making me feel so welcome at spring break.”
“It’s been a tough couple of months for me, since Biden came in and started boosting vaccinations and mask-wearing,” the virus said. “I really needed this vacation.” The piece continues: The coronavirus’s praise of DeSantis as “a fantastic host” stood in sharp contrast to its harsh criticism of the Miami Beach mayor, Dan Gelber, whom the pathogen called “a total buzzkill.”“Dan Gelber has not made me feel welcome at all, which I find divisive and hurtful,” it said.The coronavirus also predicted that it would not be alone in supporting DeSantis’s expected White House bid. “Every variant I talk to is excited about it,” the virus indicated.” He ends, most often with a ‘punch line’ – this one: Every variant I talk to is excited about it” brings a chuckle, rather like icing on a cake.
Although things are ‘opening up’ to a great extent many functions are performed by telephone. So when the trusty old computer broke down, there was a long conversation with apple.com, not a friendly chat at the nearby Apple Store. The extremely helpful woman not only restored my faith and my computer but we also had a long conversation about her experience with the coronavirus. Thank goodness its tendrils did not grace my fine body nor any body that I know, so it was an enlightening conversation – both enlightening and ironic. She had experienced a number of different careers in her lifetime – by far her most creative endeavour had been her foray into a culinary career. She was not sure where she contracted the pathogen, took her about three weeks to return to ‘near norma;’. Lasting effects? She lost her sense of taste which for her is critical. Not so much me these days as cooking is no longer my forte, So we shook our heads in disbelief – that, of all things to loose, was this critical ability. Just to be clear, I shook my head in disbelief, could not see hers. To make matters worse she has taken to highly salt her food which causes further problems with her high blood pressure. But then a confirmation of the Alexis McBride their of coronavirus contamination. Dogs, She had a dog and had to take her dog on his daily walk despite her illness and required isolation. “I wore a mask and tried to stay away from people” she said rather defensively. It has long been my theory that dogs are responsible for the spread of the virus but neither politicians nor nor public health officials want to earn it ire of millions of dog owners. The only people seen on the streets of San Francisco were people walking their dogs. I would look down from my apartment’s third floor window during the shut down which lasted from March to December of 2020. The move to Marin on December 1 saw dog trotting as well but there is more space and hence distancing and the number of dogs per household and households with dogs seem smaller.
Now onto something else. I have subscribed to the NEW YORKER both printed and Digital recently, hence receiving the magazine in my trusty mail box. The magazine allows for more serious and concentrated reading – post probably because that was the format I grew up on. Computers were no where to be found when I learned to read, attend undergraduate University or even law school. Come to think of it. So concentrated reading is ideal with the written word, a pen used underline. Do remember this conversation with PDIHS upon receipt of of the Qur’an and and my first book on the Islamic faith. But back to the NEW YORKER. The March 22, edition features Jane Meyer’s Trump In the Crosshairs which discusses whether Cyrus Vance Jr. willl indicted on criminal charges for financial crimes. The writing, the presentation, the material is nothing short of remarkable. For example, this paragraph summaries Trump’s remarkable record of being able to get away with ‘everything his whole life.” “Vance’s office could be the only operable brake on Trump’s remarkable record of impunity. He has survived two impeachments, the investigation by the special counsel Robert Mueller , half a dozen bankruptcies, twenty-six accusations of sexual misconduct and an estimated four thousand lawsuits.” This does send the reader reeling – I did know that Trump was a bad guy but was not aware of his monstrosities Monstrosity does indeed define Trump: mutant, mutation, freak, freak of nature, monster, abortion, malformation; abnormality, miscreation. It would be great fun to walk up to Trump and say:
Me: You are nothing but a miscreation!!!
He: What is that???? I hate big words!!!!
Me: Best you not know – I do not want to be invaded by some mob that you incite.
As is my want, read my previous blog today, discovering something had been left out, the response to a question posed by my cousin.
She: Do you know why you are so tired?
Me: I think there are too many bewildering things in my weird life, It is exhausting all of these surprising events. All these people coming and going, coming and going. Thanks for asking.
More conversation to day with cousin. Me: Your celebration tea sounds great. I am having another one of those bed and pyjama days. She: I have never had those kind of days…could not stay in bed all day. Me: Try it, you might like it. Hahaha She: I’ve tried…do not like it. Me: To each his own, could not do this before, it is a new talent. But I have upped my Doctor’s appointment from April 22 to April 1. (April Fool’s Day, how appropriate. He sent a funny emoji and said “No jokes,” The conversation went on. Me: Now you have me laughing out loud. She: Glad I was able to make you laugh out loud. Me: Me too, I needed that!
It does not take a genius to see that I am depressed. Many people, who shall go unnamed, never think of how their actions (or inactions) might affect me, relying on my good humour to keep them amused and joyous. When I do not perform, they disappear from my existence. Then, without their callowness, and inconsideration, I cheer up. But there is one problem – sometimes I let those folks back ‘in’ and the behaviour of callowness and inconsideration continues. But I am improving, catching the intruders early on and locking the door. Have discovered that it is best not to loose my temper. But believe me, that is sometimes very difficult to do as I am very good at rage. What is callow? Synonyms are: naive, green, as green as grass, born yesterday, raw, unseasoned, untrained, untried; juvenile, adolescent, jejune; innocent, guileless, artless, unworldly, unsophisticated; wet behind the ears.
My menagerie is is pictured – it seems to grow and grow. From the left there is Baby Piglet, Delhi Llama, Horney, Rubber Duckie (for bath) , PUN (Pink Ugly Nose, formerly Fazza the First) and Sparkley, (the other duck). Missing is PhD – Precious Horney Darling (who was in my bed) and the Unicorn lost by Personal Driver who was given to me by the Royal Family of Qatar. Oh yes, lost also was a bear whose name was Joo Kim. Joo Kim (the bear was also a neck rest for the airplane (when you do not travel business or first class). Last week it was to Rite Aid to pick up some medication, escorted by PDIHS. The shelves contained a stuffed sheep and a cute duck. Gleefully, jumped in the car.
Me: There are the cutest stuffed animals in there, a sheep and a duck.
PDIHS: Alexis, if you get any more animals there will be no room left for you in your apartment.
Me: Ok but if it the animals go on sale for 90% off, I must take them home. I do have a double bed and do sleep alone.
I do cheer myself in the end. Thinking of names is constantly challenging. The sheep could be WISC – Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing. I am prepared.
Oh, by the way….menagerie is: 1)a collection of wild animals kept in captivity for exhibition.or 2) a strange or diverse collection of people or things. You choose!
