Well, here comes the election and Andy found something to joke about and it totally made me laugh. “Plunging her reëlection bid for the United States Senate into uncertainty, Susan Collins announced on Monday that she was unsure whether she would vote for herself. Collins, who had long been expected to back herself in 2020, said that nagging doubts about her record in the Senate had given her pause.” Andy went on to say: Collins shed no light on her soul-searching process other than to say that she would spend the remaining hours until the election wringing her hands. “I will make my decision when I am in the voting booth on Tuesday,” she said. “Or not.” Now, I do admit that I am funny but I can not possibly compete with this man’s humour. Then another featuring Susan Collins: One week after the United States Senate returned to session, Senator Susan Collins, of Maine, said that she would self-quarantine to avoid possible contact with decisions. Collins said that she had hoped to safely distance herself from any decisions while at the Senate but feared that the risk of accidental exposure to a decision was too great. This story went on to say: Collins said that she would self-quarantine until she is confident that the danger of being in the vicinity of a decision had clearly passed.“As much as I hated making this decision, if it leads to me not making more decisions, it was a decision worth making,” she said on a Zoom call with reporters, before muting herself.”
Andy can even make the pandemic funny. “Blocked by the White House from testifying before Congress, Anthony Fauci said on Saturday that he would schedule a Zoom call with the entire country.The esteemed virologist said that the Zoom call would be an opportunity for all three hundred and twenty-eight million Americans to ask him questions about the White House’s response to the pandemic. “It’ll be just like one of the task-force briefings, only I’ll actually be allowed to talk,” he said. Fauci acknowledged that there could be logistical challenges to getting every person in the country on the same Zoom call.“Our faces will probably look pretty small, and they may freeze if there’s not enough bandwidth,” he said. “You might want to tell your kids to get off Fortnite for fifteen minutes.”He said tat it was “unlikely” that Donald Trump would be joining the call. “We’re mainly going to be talking about science, so I don’t think it’s his thing,” Fauci said. Then this one about Pence. Vice-President Mike Pence has started wearing a mask after Anthony Fauci told him that it will protect him from women, Fauci has confirmed.After seeing video of a maskless Pence touring the Mayo Clinic, on Tuesday, Fauci said, “I knew I had to come up with something fast” to get through to Pence.Fauci immediately got on the phone with the Vice-President and informed him that “clinical research” had demonstrated that a mask is “an effective female-repellent.”“I told him that wearing a mask would protect him from 99.99 per cent of all women,” Fauci said. “He seemed very impressed.”
In an official statement, the Vice-President thanked Fauci for his excellent advice and indicate that he would start wearing a mask at all times, including at home.
The day before yesterday was a most eventful day. It began with a blow dry from Kim who is located in Corte Madera. The results are shown in a photo attached to this blog. Kim and I spoke of my growing dissatisfaction with San Francisco. She brilliantly suggested that rather than look for a place in the East Bay I should instead move back to Marin and suggested an apartment complex on Tamal Vista Blvd just down the street. So I jumped into Personal Driver’s car and we sped off down the street. The leasing office was open, staffed by Angel, who was an angel. An hour later it was done. On December 1, 2020 I shall again become a resident of Marin County. I could not be happier. Everything about the apartment is perfect – a walk-in closet, pale grey walls, a washer and dryer, it is on the ground floor. There is a heated pool just outside the door, a gym with the best of equipment. I can finally get my furniture our of storage so I will be able to write from my four poster bed. But one amenity that pleases the most is the nearby top notch grocery store Andy’s. The location is perfect – I can walk three blocks to my Primary Car Physician’s Office , to blocks to my wonderful hair stylist Kim, two blocks to Book Passage. Town Center, with all of its stores, restaurants and my bank is also within walking distance. It seems most strange to be coming ‘hone’ after all of my adventures . I had no desire to return to Marin but the pandemic has made San Francisco living impossible and scores of people are leaving. All of my professionals are in Marin so it makes sense to be near them. I guess if the ‘matchmaker’ finds me a Pakistani husband, he will have to come here or have enough money so that we can live here and there. The pandemic changed so many people’s lives, in so many ways. Unlike the title of the book – perhaps You Can Go Home Again. It will not be to different a life than the one I left in 2014 when to London I went. Then I was living in a small one bedroom apartment on Sir Francis Drake Boulevard. Then I had a car, actually a Mercedes. Now I have a Personal Driver, I was an atheist then, now I am a Muslim – so there have been some changes. I keep thinking of other comparisons. Then I had not gone to bed with a man in ten or fifteen years – now I am back to being chaste and celibate Celibate means having no sexual relations. Its synonyms are single, unwed, spouseless; chaste, virginal, virgin, maidenly, maiden, intact, abstinent, self-denying, unmarried. The Islamic faith allows, in fact encourages, sex between a husband and a wife. But at this moment there is no husband in sight. Something strange happened last evening. A text from an unknown admirer with a Qatar number. Hmmmmmmm, Well spoken, polite, rather funny – we had corresponded before but there was a change of number. I recall we reached agreement on many matters in our previous correspondence but he went away.
Yesterday it was off to Marin to have my teeth cleaned. The good news is that nitrous oxide was provided. A query to the hygienist:
Me: I wonder why they call nitrous oxide laughing gas.
She: I don’t know. I guess because it makes you silly.
Me; I do not detect any change but probably because I am silly most of the time
A photograph of me in headscarf with nitrous mask is provided. Today it is off to Marin again for an appointment with PCP. I do take good care of myself but it is starting to be a full time job. Hahahahah