Unbelievable In Every Way; Dump Trump; Exchange Rate Troublesome; A Guide to Dubai Written by a Californian

I am here in Dubai having breakfast in a huge French restaurant. Began with a raspberry smoothie and then scrambled eggs with marrow. Unbelievably good But here is the weirdest part. There are only three of us in this restaurant – two guys and me and we all are from Alberta. Now how likely is that?!! If it was Calgary that would be one thing but this is Dubai. They are here for nine days for a trade show. I have no idea why I am here, none at all. But it is pleasant and having a good time. Quite seriously, everyone in the hotel loves me, they all say they do. Unfortunately the Sultan is not staying here. Hahahahah He now has a new nickname – NSS.

It stands for No Show Sultan because he has been a definite No Show. Oh well – it does make things easier and more simple. I have grown philosophical about the whole situation. That means that I am calm, composed, cool, collected, cool, calm, and collected, self-possessed, serene, tranquil, placid, stoical, impassive, sober, dispassionate, detached, unemotional, phlegmatic, unperturbed, imperturbable, equable, unruffled, patient, forbearing, long-suffering, tolerant, accommodating, indulgent, easy-going, even-tempered, restrained, fatalistic, unexcitable, resigned, rational, logical, realistic, practical; informal unflappable. ANTONYMS emotional, upset. Not sure why or how but I am. I was very emotional and upset a few days ago, but overcame it. The timing is off for one thing – in more than one way – the chief one being that I have to go back to Marin and have left knee replacement surgery.

BB turned on the television in my room, so I have continual BBC news being played with the sound turned off. So I know what is going on in the world outside this bubble. Trump is being Dumped, I laugh. But the unbelievable part is Trump’s defence team choice. The guy from the OJ Simpson trial. I think the theme was if the glove doesn’t fit you must acquit. What will be the theme of the Dump Trump trial? It is too far a reach to impeach? Not bad! I shall continue to work on it.

I have a complaint to make Dubai. You are making this hard for me. The exchange rate is a mathematical nightmare for a person who is mathematically challenged. 3.55 to the American dollar. Could you please just make it 5? Would it be that much trouble? I am laughing – I am leaving on Tuesday so they probably can not get it done by then. Hahahaha

Most of the rest of the blog will consist of an hilarious email from friend Jennifer. I woke up to read it and it put me in the best mood.

Good morning my dear Alexis,

Well, if you kiss camel, does he turn into prince? Haha! OMG, what if you fall in love with the camel after only one kiss? I can just see the whole story and I’m laughing like crazy! Can it travel as a service animal, you know, for emotional support? What does a camel do in SF?

Yes, I read about Dubai’s alcohol restrictions! Alcohol sale and consumption is legal but regulated. Adult non-Muslims are allowed to consume alcohol in licensed venues like hotels, or at home if they get an alcohol license. But I guess it can be gotten on tours also. Have you seen the Dubai Miracle Garden? According to Wikipedia, it’s a 72,000-metre (236,000-foot) flower garden, opened in Dubailand. It is the world’s largest flower garden. The garden has a total of 45 million flowers with re-use of waste water through drip irrigation. During the summer seasons from late May to September when the climate can get extremely hot with an average high of about 40 °C (104 °F), the garden stays closed.” Pretty interesting!

Also of interest for tourists: Dubai Creek Park in Dubai Creek showcases some of the most famous tourist attractings in Dubai such as Dolphinarium, Cable Car, Camel Ride, Horse Carriage and Exotic Birds Shows. Dubai has a wide range of parks like Safa park, Mushrif park, Hamriya park, etc. Each park is uniquely distinct from the other. Mushrif park showcases different houses around the world. A visitor can check out the architectural features of the outside as well as the inside of each house. Some of the most popular beaches in Dubai are Umm Suqeim Beach, Al Mamzar Beach Park, JBR Open Beach, Kite Beach, Black Palace Beach and Royal Island Beach Club. Maybe you should wear that bathing suit to the beach! That concludes our guided tour of Dubai!

Well, have fun with the sand and the camels, and remember….no humping in public!!

Humps of hugs and beaches of love!

My response follows ( it is slightly edited)

Girlfriend!!! I am dying laughing. DYING. It is five in the morning, I have developed the strangest sleeping patterns – particularly in this hotel where it is active 24 hours a day – well actually strangely inactive in the morning. I did not go to kiss a camel after all, thank goodness for that I guess. I was having lunch, met a fascinating woman and decided that our conversation was more intriguing than a thick lipped camel. The repercussions of the camel would have been messy, very messy as you pointed out. I have my computer back – you can imagine my joy!!! It was so much fun picking it up at the airport – I utterly charmed at least ten Arab men. I am totally different than the women here – they live either in Islamic Purdah (like a harem) or are sluts. – I am laughing but it is true. So men are amazed by me – as I am actually sexy – sluts are not sexy – an observation you may have made as well. The Sultan has yet to make an appearance – perhaps he was going to surface in the desert but I did not go there. I do not think he writes his own poetry – he loves animals, little kids, his image, and autistic children. I am none of the above. Hahahaha.

Your Dubai guide was fascinating! I knew of the garden, a woman in my building told me about it andI must go see it – probably today. And the park with the houses shall definitely be on the last. It is so temping must to stay in the hotel where EVERYONE loves me – it is so strange. I came to meet the love of my life who never surfaced and instead am surrounded by all manner of men who adore me. I was escorted to my room in laughter by three rather handsome men dressed in white and a wonderful woman from the Philippines. Thanks to BB I have the television soundless on to BBC news – holy cow what a lot going on. Dump Trump – how rather amazing. His choice of counsel also rather amazing.

Clearly if I married the Crown Prince I would have to give up drinking – there would be no way he would allow a home license and I would be stuck going to hotels all of the time. How bloody inconvenient. It was clearly not meant to be. Hahahaha Perhaps I shall just copy this and make it the blog. Well I meant leave off a few things.

I promise not to hump in public.! Dumps of hugs and Trumps of love. Alexis

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