Yesterday was, in every way, a strange day. I stayed in my pyjamas all day, even posing a picture of me on Instagram which is appended to this blog. The top of my pyjamas is a t-shirt that says: Positive Mind, Positive Vibes, Positive Dreams. The bottoms are Davies Hospital pants given to me by a kind nurse. It is not exactly Sex in the City garb. It was a day of intensity, accomplishing many things. The upcoming surgery requires many appointments, the follow up of my hospitalization requires many appointments. There were bills to be paid and paper work to be organized. No time for mundane matters such as blog writing. But an intensely meaningful day. A long list was prepared and I am happy to report that almost everything was crossed out as completed. Only one bill to be paid and that can be done this morning.
One of my first accomplishments was to call Kim in Vancouver and order multiple copies of my book on the Tate. I have totally run out of them as they were given to many as mementos when I left Vancouver. The book was flawed (yet again) and so was given to friends and acquaintances. What is a memento? It is a keepsake, reminder, remembrance, token, memorial; testimonial, trophy, relic, vestige. It was not exactly a memorial or a vestige as its focus is a museum in London but CPI edited the imperfect book and she is a Vancouver person. The book served to reawaken our friendship, which is a blessing – the proof will be in the pudding. The proof is in the pudding – what is that? An idiom, usually stated the proof is in the pudding means that the end result is the mark of the success or failure of one’s efforts or planning. In this situation, the end result is the book and with CPI’s help it is practically unflawed and, in the main, grammatically correct. The plan is to do a book launch on the roof garden of my apartment in early October – selling the perfect copies. I should be recovered from the knee surgery by then, and the weather in San Francisco is usually warmer at that time of year. It seems a culmination of many year’s work – it is because it is the pinnacle, peak, high point, highest point, height, high water mark, top, summit, crest, zenith, crowning moment, apotheosis; apex, apogee, vertex; finale, denouement; consummation, completion, finish, conclusion, close, termination; informal high noon. ANTONYMS nadir.. My favourite of all those words is apotheosis but the antonym nadir catches my eye as well.
All of the appointment-making went well except the appointment for the stress test for my heart – a most stressful time with incompetent people. The woman hung up on me when I expressed utter frustration. I may just phone my doctor and tell him it is too stressful for me to make the appointment for a stress test. Apparently this place is notorious for poor schedulers.
But at one point during the day I jumped on Instagram and found the most telling and inspirational message. Awakening is not changing who you are but discarding who are not. Deepak Chopra . It was brought to us by a man called Warrenzinger., and he is a purveyor of wise sayings. Discard such an important thing – probably the antithesis of hoarding. Discard: dispose of, throw away, throw out, get rid of, toss out; reject, jettison, scrap, dispense with, cast aside/off, repudiate, abandon, relinquish, drop, have done with, shed, slough off, shrug off, throw on the scrapheap; (informal) chuck (away/out), fling away, dump, ditch, axe, bin, junk, get shut of; North American informal trash Also forsake. ANTONYMS keep; acquire.
So sometimes it is necessary to chuck out, to dump, to ditch and forsake. Bin people, places and things. It does feel so good, so natural, so pure. Order is restored and peace descends.
Phew!!! What about hoard – as a verb it means: store up, stock up on, stockpile, put aside, put by, put away, lay by, lay in, lay up, set aside, stow away, buy up, cache, amass, heap up, pile up, stack up; collect, save, gather, garner, accumulate, husband, squirrel away, put to one side, put away for a rainy day; informal stash away, salt away. ANTONYMS squander.
It is my observation that most people put away, lay by, lay in and amass people, places and things. Cling onto relationships and things that have long since lost their purpose thinking that an old friend is better than a new friend, for example. That families are important because they are forever. However, I hasten to inform you, if it is a toxic family forever is a VERY long time. When one discards there is room for a vital new relationship (or piece of furniture).
I suppose the most meaningful thing done was the continuation of a story, the title of which is A Kits Tale of Woe. Kits is short for Kitsalino, a rather beautiful area (not really a neighbourhood) in Vancouver. It is almost completely unknown but I once lived in Kits when I was about 30, living there for about five months. Uprooted myself from San Francisco seeking reconciliation with Husband #1 but when it turned to utter failure – than back to San Francisco. An EXTREMELY painful time in my life. CPI, around at the time, brilliantly and with great sensitivity, wrote:
She: Take care. Remembering does not have to mean reliving.
Me: I am not reliving. It is cathartic. I blocked that out of my life and it needs to be revisited.
The story was sent to CPI but was written to (and for) a man who lives in Kits. Upon reading the first instalment he wrote, succinctly:
He: Life’s tribulations!
Me: You made me giggle! It is the PERFECT response. I am taking it less seriously, now You are such a good influence on me.
The photo is me in my pjs = the one posted on Instagram.