I am home from the hospital, was released about two or three hours ago. There are some questions and concerns about the nature of my diagnosis, therefore, I will wait until there are more definitive answers before revealing all. It is potentially not good or potentially OK. It is a lot to sort out – second opinions need to be garnered before a definite answer can be provided. What is definitive? The following explains the difference between definitive and definite.
“Definitive is often used, rather imprecisely, when definite is actually intended, to mean simply ‘clearly decided’. Although definitive and definite have a clear overlap in meaning, definitive has the additional sense of ‘having an authoritative basis’. Thus, a definitive decision is one which is not only conclusive but also carries the stamp of authority or is a benchmark for the future, while a definite decision is simply one which has been made clearly and is without doubt”
I used definitive correctly, by the way.
There have been posts on Instagram which will illustrate some of the trials and tribulations I have been through. A gorgeous picture of my arm with a catheter stuck in it, for example.
A photograph of the monitor showing my great numbers with this caption.
Me: The monitor in my hospital room. My nurse says my numbers are great. I am not sure what that might mean. Another one, taken today, showing me in hospital gear all hooked up to a monitor.
Me: Still here at hospital but feeling frisky
Esteemed Nurse: I do not think that manageable is a word that applies to you.
My Roomie: On Any Day.
Me: (not said but should have been said) Thanks guys, how perceptive of you.
Then there is my parting shot, just posted. It is a video with this:
Me: My doctor said; “It was a pleasure taking care of you during your hospitalization.” I got it in writing but it was only a two day stay. . He might change his mind if if it were here longer. I write this from home.
I will provide greater detail about my hospital stay on subsequent blogs. But the staff, the facility and the equipment was stellar – the difference between this hospital and the Canadian hospital ( I am familiar with) is the difference between black and white, they are polar opposites, a study in contrasts. Canadian medical care woefully inadequate with more data to support that to follow.
But I am feeling so loved, not related to the hospital experience itself, but by the outpouring of affection and support received from my friends. Some were informed of my hospitalization by email. , one or two by text, and others informed on Instagram. I feel absolutely cosseted, it being a 16th century word meaning: care for and protect in an overindulgent way (All her life she’d been cosseted by her family).
I am going to share a special gift with you. David, from London, learning of my hospitalization promised to send some jokes to cheer me up. Well, he did and Roomie and I just about died from laughing when I read them to her. I know that you will enjoy these hokes nd you will stop feeling sorry for me and just laugh. Roomie and I had nurses come into the room and read some of those. Everyone was laughing their arse off. Arse is a British phrase and since David is British it is therefore proper to use. (By the way Rommie is the woman who shared my room with me. We were a perfect match, we laughed constantly, keeping each other awake the first night.)
YOU DO NOT NEED FURTHER PROOF – THE HUMAN RACE IS DOOMED THROUGH STUPIDITY,
SOME ACTUAL LABEL INSTRUCTIONS
On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap — “Directions: Use like regular soap.”
On some Swanson frozen dinners — “Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) — “Do not turn upside down.”
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding — “Product will be hot after heating.”
On packaging for a Rowenta iron — “Do not iron clothes on body.”
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine — “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
On Nytol Sleep Aid — “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
On most brands of Christmas lights — “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
On a Japanese food processor — “Not to be used for the other use.”
On Sainsbury’s peanuts — “Warning: contains nuts.”
On an American Airlines packet of nuts — “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
On a child’s Superman costume — “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”.
That is all for today as I am tired although I actually got nine hours sleep last night – even in the hospital where it was impossible to sleep. I was absolutely exhausted, awoke this morning feeling fit as a fiddle. It was a huge factor in getting released. I was cleared by an occupational therapist and a physical therapist. In Canada, they throw you out on the streets at 3 am and do not even help you get a taxi. It happened to me twice at St. Paul’s Hospital in Vancouver. There are no taxis to be had because taxis avoid calls as there is a fear of druggies who will not pay the fare. It is the truth because I always tell the truth except sometimes I exaggerate but not in this instance.
