Two or three days before I left Vancouver on this voyage I had my palm read. It was an amazing experience. I was lunching in one of my favourite restaurants and I could overhear what was going on at a neighbouring table. Three young girls were laughing and enjoying themselves, one of them was reading her sister’s palm. So I went over to their table and asked the girl if she would read my palm. She laughed and was so happy to comply. She began by tracing the longest line telling me that I was going to be long lived and that I was on an upward swing, things would just get better and better for me. She then said that there were road blocks in my life but I always overcame them and was able to learn and grow from the experience. She said that I had a life that had been unbalanced but there were no scars. I told her that I was seventy-five, she said that neither my face, by body or my hand showed my age. It was amazing that she was right about almost everything, except one thing. My body is riddled with scars, subtle ones but evidence of the horrible abuse I suffered. I once asked my precious doctor to X-ray my body to find evidence of all of the broken bones that were never treated.
He; Alexis, I cannot do that.
He was, of course, right. It would serve no purpose and just haunt me. How could people do that to a little girl? I guess because they could, there was no one to stop them. I have the best philosophy – living well is the best revenge. Goodness knows, I live well. The people that harmed me do not, neither do their children nor their children’s children.
My marvellous experience at the NYC Sotheby’s Art institute campus was enhanced by reading material as u picked up two copies of a magazine, The Brooklyn Rail. There is an interesting story which rings true, What’s Good About The End written by Naomi Feigelson Chase and this is how it goes.
“Zack called me and canceled our date for tonight. Then he cackled our affair.
‘So who are you sleeping with‘ I asked.
‘I’m not sleeping with her yet. We should just be friends.’
“You and me?” I asked. “Or you and her? Don’t bother answering, I’m hanging up.”
So how do I feel? I ask myself.
Angry, I answer.
It’s true that I’m relieved. I’m glad to have myself back. I was such an insistent giver. He was such a dedicated taker. It was such a typical affair.
Cheer up, I tell myself. You can’t lose something you never had. But you can. You can lose hope, you can lose fantasy.’
My Gad Naomi, I think i may have written that – my experience and my feelings exactly. Do you not love men who say, as Zack did, ‘We should just be friends.’? For goodness sakes, friendship takes work, it takes commitment, it takes time. Going to bed with someone does not. It should not be work, it does not require commitment, it does not even have to take time. When some guy say that he wants to be my friend I do not say anything. But inside I think:”You must be kidding! I would never have you for a friend!’ Then I walk away but I do loose hope and I do loose fantasy. But sometimes the grass is greener on the other side. With hesitation I told a North American new man in my life that I was going to London for two years so I would be a little inconvenient to be with me. He was so wonderfully kind and supportive!
He; Babe, that is great! You are following your dream!
Me; Thank you so much for saying that. I thought you might be upset.
He: I will come and visit and spend a week with you.
That is so unbelievably precious! I get to follow my dreams and get my needs met. So it is a win/win situation for me and it is a win/win situation for him as well. We will have fun together and he is not stuck with the burden of entertaining me, supporting me. We can play together, like little kids. Well, not exactly like little kids, I suppose.
I write this from the lobby of the Watergate. It is such fun! A handsome man with short hair from Kansas City stoped to talk with me as do many staff members. There was a serious business meeting going on across the room. I spoke to the man and the woman learning that they worked for UNICEF. I am so impressed, such meaningful work! They were prioritizing their year. It does make sense that they would be meeting here as it is so close to the UN. Darn, I should have asked them if I could come and see their offices. But I have to finish this blog and then go to the Social Security Office which is around the corner, apparently. Perhaps go and buy a cheap pair of black flats and a resistance band. Perhaps later talk on the phone to the new guy later in the day. I told the UNICEF couple that I was 75.
She: I do not believe it! I thought you were about 50.
Me: Thank you so much! Here is my driving licence. I love showing it to people because it is such a cute picture of me.
She: It is! I have a confession to make. I am a Canadian as well.
She is from Eastern Canada not Vancouver, which is a different ball of wax.
I have good news to report straight from The Wall Street Journal The article announces that Cancer Deaths Decline Steeply. Deaths from cancer dropped 27% over a quarter century, meaning an estimated 2.6 million fewer people died of that disease during that period, according to a new report from researchers at the American Cancer Society, Why? Long-running efforts to reduce smoking as well as advances in detection and treatment of cancer at earlier stages, where prognosis for recovery is generally better. Some bad news, however, as cancer rates amongst the obese are large and getting ever larger. Just as tobacco use drove cancer death rates earlier obesity could influence future projections. Thank goodness there are no fat, smoking men in my life. Hahahaha And since I do not find such men attractive, there is probably not going to be any. The new guy lost a lot of weight and is most fit. He exercises regularly, with more in store for him.
This trip is not exactly turning out as planned but I am fine with it, more than fine. I got a present yesterday from someone dear to me. It is pictured. it is precious.