A close and dear friend emailed asking an essential question.
She: Why did you start blogging again?
Me: As usual, dear friend, you inspire me. I am not entirely sure that I did start blogging again. I go through the motions but neither my heart nor my soul is n into it. In olden days the blog would just flow and my morning would not be complete until the divine moment when the blog of the day was sent off to the UK. Once I start writing these days the words flow but I prefer to communicate with you (and a few select others) rather than cast my bread upon the waters. I wrote to Chris that I found it highly unusual; I have built a vast readership and now essentially seem to want to repudiate them all, . I have no desire whatsoever to entertain, to amuse. Whereas, in earlier times, that was my overriding ambition.
I suppose repudiate shall be the word of the day.verb:he repudiated his Catholic faith: reject, renounce, abandon, give up, turn one’s back on, disown, cast off, lay aside; formal forswear, abjure; literary forsake. ANTONYMS embrace.
Thursday marked the first concert of the Tea and Trumpets season at the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra. It is such an excellent program, far superior to the Dress Rehearsal Program of the San Francisco Symphony – a program that I attended for years. It began with Christopher Haze’s utterly charming British accent informing the audience to stand for the National Anthem. I did but as the band played on and the audience sang I began to weep silently and convulsively while mouthing the words (well, most of them). In a wonderful gesture of humanity the woman sitting to my right patted my arm, expressing sympathy for what I was experiencing. I whispered my gratitude and told her I would explain later. At the conclusion of the concert I explained my extreme emotion.
“I returned to this country after an absence of fifty years. Here at the Orpheum, for the first time in years the words and tune O Canada rang out. I wept in joy, I was so glad to be “home”. But now, about a year later, I do not feel that way at all. The Canada I left in 1967 no longer exists and I am not at all fond of this new Canada. I plan, at some point in the future, to return to the USA to live out my days.”
But what was so intensely gratifying and uplifting and surprising was that the woman agreed with me. She went even further talking about the ‘new words’ interjected for the sake of political correctness, Trudeau was blamed. The conversation left a feeling of being heard, being validated. It did cheer. Striding down to the gift store in an ebullient mood, spotting a gorgeous necklace, purchasing same – on sale, a 10% discount with proceeds to the VSO. I strode down the street to Dunn’s to show it off to everyone. It did not change my point of view but do see this return to Canada as a necessary step. I do not, in any way, regret it. My life, within its confines of VSO, VAG, VP is ideal and I do love the interior of my apartment. But it is impossible to grow old (er.in the country. But as luck would have it – a new person has emerged, who lives in Vancouver (of all places). This may take some creative planning but there has to be a solution.
Who should emerge as I walked by the stage door of the Orpheum? None other than conductor William Rowson, who immediately recognized me and called me by name.
Me: You do clean up well. You looked most handsome there at the podium.
He: Did you enjoy the concert?
Me: I definitely did! The Pomp and Circumstance encore was the perfect icing on the cake.
I do have to admit this. Michael Tilson Thomas did not know me from Adam No matter what I can always return to Vancouver for concerts at VSO, have Amy do my nails and Vicky cut and blow dry my hair. I will stay at the Hotel Soleil and go to water aerobics next door at my YWCA. No matter what, I shall be fine. The photographs that grace this blog picture the Orpheum prior to the commencement of the concert and the ticket that got me in.
Plans for the day entail a visit to Suki’s for a blow dry and a visit to the completed new construction at the VPL and then, a very interesting evening involving nibbles and fixing.