Ever helpful David has provided us with more humour. This one-liners are from the Edinburgh Festival (which of course is in Scotland).
Edinburgh Fringe – Top 10 jokes
1. “Working at the JobCentre has to be a tense job – knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day” – Adam Rowe
2. “I had a job drilling holes for water – it was well boring” – Leo Kearse
3. “I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don’t pay it back, I’m going to get repossessed” – Olaf Falafel
4. “In my last relationship, I hated being treated like a piece of meat. She was a vegan and refused to touch me” – Daniel Audritt
5. “What do colour blind people do when they are told to eat their greens?” – Flo and Joan
6. “I’ve got a new job collecting all the jumpers left in the park at the weekends, but it’s not easy. They keep moving the goalposts” – Darren Walsh
7. “Trump said he’d build a wall but he hasn’t even picked up a brick. He’s just another middle-aged man failing on a DIY project” – Justin Moorhouse
8 “I lost a friend after we had an argument about the Tardis. I thought it was a little thing, but it seemed much bigger once we got into it” – Adele Cliff
9 “Why are they calling it Brexit and not The Great British Break Off?” – Alex Edelman
10. “I think love is like central heating. You turn it on before guests arrive and pretend it’s like this all the time” – Laura Lexx
The day before yesterday I spent two hours in the presence of a wise man. No details fo follow. But our time together ended with him saying: “Alexis, I am proud of you!” I conveyed this information to guru Chris Jackson by email.
Me: His praise was like getting a gold star.
Chris: I’m proud of you too.
Me: Thank you Liv! It means a great deal to me that you are proud of me. It does bring tears to my eyes. I shall try and not spill them on my computer.
Later I spoke on the telephone to friend Jennifer telling her that two men were proud of me.
She: Alexis, I think that everyone who knows you is proud of you.
Me: Thank you, thank you! But now I am crying. At least the computer is not nearby.
But now onto more serious matters. Readers will note that I am feeling increasingly alienated from the country of my birth – good old Canada. CPI made the astute observation that the Canada I left in 1967 no longer exists. So the word of the day shall be astute with its many synonyms
an astute investor: shrewd, sharp, acute, adroit, quick, clever, crafty, intelligent, bright, smart, canny, intuitive, perceptive, insightful, incisive, sagacious, wise; informal on the ball, quick on the uptake, savvy; heads-up. ANTONYMS stupid.
CPI also sent the link to a Tom Rachman interview where he discussed the problems of being an expat. He captures my feelings. “Writers thrive as outsiders. Or maybe it’s that outsiders long to put their thoughts into written words. Anyway, expat life is by nature detached. You’ll never belong to the foreign land where you reside. Nor, in time, do you fit in your home country. So you become a rootless observer – a most fruitful perspective for authors (and for artists too).:
I feel like a rootless observer – now visiting in the United States seeing old friends and my professionals. Emails this morning from two Canadian friends, from Wonder Alice in Australia and my Friday lunch date. How extremely international!!
For various reasons I had a make over yesterday. Dollhouse Beauty is located next door to the San Anselmo Inn and a wonderful woman beautified me. The picture is attached. I am not wearing glasses – Tracey called it my naked look. Wonder Alice and i in an email exchange. I had sent the picture to her.
She:: OMG ALEXIS !! God damn ! FEUGO
Me: It is funny to look at the picture – what I notice most is the results of the motorcycle accident. – my left eye is rather droopy. The glasses hide it. It was fun to do – I got the make over just before lunch and portfolio review.”
Today is a duller day. It is a dentist appointment but then an appointment with another brilliant man – the administrator of the retirement program.