Sometimes it is completely unnecessary to have a husband, most of the time actually. Yesterday was a case in point. Klaus arrived with a DVD player and set it up for me and then he replaced the ink cartridge in my printer. Those are husband jobs, Klaus and I are not married and they are done. Then the most wonderful thing happened. He popped in Hamlet borrowed from Vancouver Public Library and what a production it was! The best I have ever seen with Kenneth Branagh in the starring role but hordes of incredible actors and actresses. Unlikely ones like Robin Williams and Billy Crystal. Likely ones like Kate Winslet and Derek Jacobi and Julie Christie. It was a feast – the set stunning Blenheim Castle no less. I do miss London theatre but I definitely could make do here in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Then the wonderful player is going to allow me to get Netflix. Who needs a husband? Who needs a man? Not me. This is good because JRM seems to have disappeared again. He said he was in meetings which did not allow him to have his phone with him, but I did get rather impatient.
Me; No government meeting lasts until 7:30 p.m.
He: (No response).
I was attempting to get the lowdown on JRM and I was required to become a member of Linked I. I used my Alexis McTwit identity and when asked for a photograph I rather accidentally included the ‘cartoon’ of me in the bath tub that was drawn at the Tenant Appreciation Day last July. I was having such fun ‘reaching’ out to people with my legitimate new image. So Linked In is a little limited, asking what your last job was. I have been retired for ages but I said Deputy County Counsel. Anyway, more than one person is going to be shocked to see the bath tub cartoon appear on their screens. I cannot imagine the expression on their faces or, as I said in one text.
Me: I hope he is wearing brown trousers.
But, back on the home front, Sir Richard and I are deep into contract negotiations. My printer was not working at the time so I brought the contract on a drive for him. He was eager for the details. So I provided a few but he was asking a lot of pesky questions.
Hottie: What are my hours going to be?
Me: I cannot remember at the moment. Oh yes, 8 am until 7 pm.
He: That is onerous
Me: You said that you planned to amend my terms. Come back with an offer.
The word of the day is going to be onerous, which is an adjective with the following meaning.
(of a task, duty, or responsibility) involving an amount of effort and difficulty that is oppressively burdensome: he found his duties increasingly onerous
It was an indoor day yesterday at the Equinox. I rushed about the gym telling all of my departure. Everyone was darling.
BTIC: When is your last day?
Me: July 31, 2018
He: It will be a sad day.
Me: Yes. Everyone will be required to wear black.
He: But we already do – our T-shirts are black and so are our pants.
Me: Then it will be really easy to comply
It is painful to report but the funniest line of the day came from Sir Richard.
Me: You are steaming up my glasses with all of this exercise.
He: That is my speciality, steaming up glasses.
Me: I hate it when you are funnier than I am.
He: I know.
Me: But I will put it in the blog and give you credit.
He: Thank you very much.
Me: You are welcome.
Not only at the gym but elsewhere people flatter me. I went to Staples to order more blog cards because I keep giving them all out. They were so helpful.
Me: I need more because people ask and I keep giving them all out.
He: That is because you are loved.
Me: I cannot believe you said that., I am so touched. Thank you!
He: You are welcome.
I am taking a course at VPL on ebooks. The information very helpful but it was very hot in the library, there was a crying baby echoing throughout the building. The information was dense and required concentration. It was to go on for an hour and a half, but I left before the end. I whispered to staff that learning theory has established that people can pay attention, at the most, for an hour without a break. I was diligently taking notes and asking questions. The majority of the people there just stared vacantly. I guess I do not understand people very well. The streets are crowed with folks with vacant and somewhat haunted faces. It is the economic situation I think and it is going to get worse, according to my sources. There is nothing I can do about it – just remain cheerful. It is so gratifying to hear people say:
They: You made my day!
Me:Thank you! You made mine by saying that.
But misery is contagious as well. But as Sir Richard constantly admonishes.
He: Alexis. That is not your job, cheering up the whole world.
Me: Thank you. I am slowly learning that a lot of things are not my job and not my responsibility. You are teaching me that and I am slowly learning.
He: You are. Occasionally you amaze me.
Me: Only occasionally?
I do admit that I am rather good at drawing up contracts. I should be as I did it for a living at one point in time. This from the contract between Hottie and me.
Job Title and Description
3 The initial job title of the Employee will be the following: Cabana Boy. The initial job duties the Employee will be expected to perform will be the following:
1. Personal training to be conducted both in and out of doors
2, Teach Alexis McBride to be rational
3. Perform math skills upon request.
4. Joke around with Alexis McBride, being sensitive of her feelings 5. Other duties to be determined at a later time.
Then there are additional terms. For example; that the contract be signed in blood and that the employee may travel of foreign lands with employer but he must behave and not expect to travel first class but he will get his very own bedroom.