I am constantly questioned by people:
They: You are so positive! How do you keep that up?
Me: Well, it ain’t easy!
They: Do bad things happen to you?
Me: Yes, all of the time actually.
They: How do you handle it? How do you get over it?
This is my secret of success (should being positive indicate success). When things go wrong I do have in my environment accessible and caring friends who take my mind off the petty individuals and the awful situations that surround me. An example happened on Tuesday evening, returning to Vancouver when I was hassled (unfairly and stupidly) by Immigration Officers. But do not get your hopes up Canadians, I got back in. I calmly stood and exchanged emails with a dear man.
He: dont think i dont check your instagram because i do everyday!
Me: Silly billy get to work my precious! But my blogs? Them too, my precious fan? HITS
He: BIGGEST FAN!
ME: you are not my biggest fan – you are short, hahahahaha
He: I am average height thank you very much!
Me: (Another nameless man) once said to me in a huff: “I am taller than most girls” And everyone thought he had no sense of humour.
He: lol YOU and TALL don’t really go together. YOU and CUTE go together real well and THE SHITS too.
Me: Silly. First and Second Husband TALL. And remember no sex these days so it is HITS
Honest to goodness this email interchange went on and was entitled On the way home. To new time readers the word SHITS describes me. S(sexy) H (humour) I intelligent) T (truthful) S (stubborn). But now just HITS. I had not seen my email buddy in months and when I saw him there were mandatory hugs
He: Wow! You are strong. Hottie is training you well.
Me: Yes. Watch out or I will break a rib.
He: You are so funny!
Me: And strong, apparently,
But standing endlessly in Immigration went by quickly and I was in such a good mood because I was called CUTE, I have a fan of average height and I made him laugh as well. The last Immigration person was very courteous, his name was Mr. Chang. This is an example of the process found in some song: “You have got to Accent the Positive, Eliminate the Negative and Don’t Mess With Mr. In Between”
So it is morning and I am waiting on a telephone call. I just registered for the U of A Semi Annual Brunch at the Royal Yacht Club. I am an alumni of the University of Alberta, that and several other schools. I am over educated, I suppose there are worse things to be, but at the moment I cannot think of any. I used to laugh that my goal in life was to have more degrees than ex husbands. I think I have succeeded. particularly since I have decided that I am a widow as Number #3 recently died. He died apparently without an obituary. I am planning to write an obituary and put it on my blog but I need to get some details straight first.
I just learned something from reading a book about Don Quixote penned by Ilan Stavans. It is a library book recommended by the staff at VPL. I had seen Strauss’ Don Quixote at VSO and wanted to learn more about the guy. Stavans spoke of the ‘same lex literary pair’ Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, clear opposites. “To the degree that they complement each other, the couple —and a rather odd one—might be taken to represent examples of the “soul mate” theory presented by Plato in the Symposium ( ca 385-380 BC), which argues that humans originally had four hands, legs, lungs and a single head made of two faces, but that Zeus split humans in half, tug creating a person’s lifelong longing to find “the other half”. (pg.27)
That is fascinating – the whole concept of the ‘soul mate, is common but its origins way back when is the newbie. Stavans mentions that Trilling thinks it is all about the money but reasons that it is not money but control that is the center of the novel. “They are constantly arguing, which means control is a game played through language: we use word to make the world fit into the view we have of it.’ (pg.28)
Stavans is brilliant as he goes on to cite Don Quixote and Sancho ‘clones’. Holmes and Watson, Ernie and Bert from Sesame Street, Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis, Mr. Pickwick and Sam Weller, Abbot and Constello, Laurel and Hardy, Batman and Robin et.al. And then another WOW, uttered by John Updike: “not only does Don Quixote need Sancho, but Sancho needs Don Quixote. The earthbound need the release and stimulation of the visionaries, high though the cost may be in bruises and embarrassments.”
But here is the question. Which one am I? Don Quixote or Sancho? And where the hell is my soul mate?
But onto lesser matters. Coco informed me that I needed blusher, so being an obedient soul I went to Shopper’s Drug Mart on Senior’s Day and purchased blusher. I shall wear it on my facial cheeks to look hot. The name of the blusher? Honest to goodness, it is Orgasm. It will not be believed so a picture is attached to this blog. Watch out world! I am going to put some orgasm on my cheeks before going to the Equinox gym this morning. Tune in tomorrow to see what happens. I personally cannot wait to see.