This conversation actually took place on the morning of May 15, 2017. Alexis calls cousin Gail
Gail: Well you had a great Mother’s Day.
Me: How do you know? Can you read my mind?
Gail: No, I read your blog.
Me: Oh my goodness. I did not know that it had already been posted.
So to say the least it is sometimes strange to be writing a blog and having one’s excesses exposed to the world. My celebration of Mother’s Day was excessive in comparison with that of my cousins’ more sedate practices. One of Gail’s daughter was working, her other daughter and grand daughter came over, they made lunch and went for a walk in a nearby park. My other cousin Carol-Ann had this to say: “Mothers Day was quiet. We were raised to believe if we can’t be nice to our mom everyday one commercial one won’t make up for it. I passed along that philosophy and Mother’s Day isn’t anything extra special.” And these women are mothers There I was running around hugging. There was a request for a kiss but I stood my ground: “That is not motherly, you only get a hug.”
My writing practices have changed. I write from the lobby of the Trump International Hotel rather than from my bed on the 19th floor of said building. Triple C is back at work and I am keeping my eye on him as he is, as you recall, on probation. If he answers three questions correctly he will be returned to his status of “full time employment with Ms. McBride.” Bonnie did note that Triple C. arrived at work a bit surly but my presence has caused him to smile. It is Triple C.”s personal goal to get off probation by nine. A bell man just asked;”Ms. McBride would you like some water?” “Yes please, how sweet of you!” This is working!
So as you can tell, at this moment, I lead a charmed life here at the Trump International Hotel. But my existence at the neighboring Trump Residences is not at all charmed. It is marred by misogyny. The practice of misogyny has been explored on this blog in the past. Please see the March 8, 2017 post. I am relying again on the wisdom of the same man. He is the Friend Who Is Full of Wisdom which got shortened to (FWIFOW) and eventually to F guy.
First a primer on misogyny, provided in large measure by F. Guy. I put several questions to him some months back. Some of his reflections are found in the earlier posts but all of his thinking has not been previously revealed. He began with some generalities.
“I do see some similarities with the treatment of minority groups, including gay men and lesbians and racial and ethnic minority groups. There are stereotypes that we all grow up with and expectations based on cultural roles that we come to incorporate in our view of the world as we grow up. We come to expect certain roles and behaviors because that is just the way things are. Some widely acceptable behaviors in various societies or parts of societies are simply discriminatory, but are the norm within that society or part of society.These roles and expectations are often reinforced through various cultural institutions such as religions and social groups or organizations or governments. When members of these various groups don’t fit the stereotypes there may be free rein to put these people in their place”
I must admit that I cannot think of any examples of what F.guy is talking about, but I do know that what he says is true. He goes on to talk about something that is readily understandable.
“I think that there may be something innate in humans that scans people for differences from one’s self or one’s group, possibly some kind of primitive protective mechanism aimed at identifying outsiders (enemies). There also appears to be something innate in humans that makes it okay to have hierarchies in society, e.g., slaves, rich, poor, servants, those with access to health care, those with no access to health care, etc. Thus for women, cultural and religious factors made it right for women to be servants of men. “
I do so agree that there are two factors to be recognized. It is innate to look for differences and that it is a protective mechanism. I remember hearing on a pod cast that people are less threatened if a “foreigner” speaks in their own tongue but when they speak the language of their adopted country with an accent – it is threatening. The other part that rings true is the tolerance of hierarchies in societies. There has ALWAYS been slavery, terribly sad but terribly true. Actually Romans did a good job of slavery, they made them citizens after awhile – it broadened the power base and brought greater diversity.
But back to F. guy’s profound thinking. “The battle for equality still goes on and is complicated because we all grew up in societies that more or less incorporated the value or virtue of the inequality. So members of undervalued groups have to overcome the incorporated systemic devaluation of self-worth. That is something I think most members of widely undervalued groups (e.g., gays and lesbians, ethnic minorities in the USA, women) share. The battle for equality not only has to be fought with the dominant society, but within the ranks of undervalued groups too.”
Yes, yes, yes! I am steadily seeing that often women are worse misogynists than men. They become jealous of women who seem to have the things they covet. But rather than learn from the behaviors of the “entitled” they ignore, undermine, and gossip about those that have what these jealous woman want. I get this a great deal. I think: “Listen! You live the first seventeen years of my life, and then you can be jealous of me.” I do admit that these sort of women anger me immensely. But then I see the essential truth. They only make me look better. Their misery and pettiness is a marked contrast to how I ascribe to live my life. Besides that – they are miserable and try their best to bring misery to all those that surround them. I no longer need the approval of women like that. All one can do when confronted with misogyny is walk away and let them stew in their own juices. These are words of wisdom.
I have not finished with this topic. But will explore, for example, the cause of differences between Trump International Hotel and Trump Residences but some of you guys want to be amused and I will get back at it.
It is interesting that the telephone conversation with cousin Gail ended with me saying that I had to get back to writing about misogyny. Gail said she was getting back to doing laundry. I tell you – I would prefer laundry as this is dirty work but somebody has to do it!
So much has happened in this lobby since the beginning of this writing. Triple C. is off probation in advance of his personal goal. His final act of contrition was looking up the spelling of misogyny for me, writing it down on a yellow sticky to place on my computer. Such a guy!
Yesterday I ambitiously decided to walk to the library. But I got way laid and ended up going to Nordstrom’s, discovering that they were having a sale of shoes and then buying two pair. Then I had to come back “home” and show them off. I found a ridiculous hat that cost $901 (Canadian)
I took a selfie with it on. As you can see it says: REBEL. I don’t think, offhand, that I need the hat.