Car Boot Sale

You cannot believe how much I love the car boot sale. I think I love the car boot sale more than life itself. It has brought me so much joy and also so much junk, But I have a plan and soon you will learn about it. The car boot sale for those uninitiated is called the Capital Car Boot Sale and it is held every Sunday from 11:30 to 2:30 at the Pimlico Academy on Lupas Street. People from London who have any sense of direction will correctly gather that this is just across the street from Dolphin Square. Car boot sale is a weirdly named thing. But in the USA one calls them flea markets, which is not better, arguably worse.
I arrive at Dolphin Square on that fateful day in June with hardly anything but the clothes (both on my back and on hangars) and books. I came to London as a student and lived in a room on Northdown Street and later in a furnished flat on Coptic Street. (You will hear about both of those places in the revenge portion of the blog.) Therefore, I had no pots, pans, cutlery, plates, cushions, mirrors, trays, candle holders or other things too numerous to mention. All of these things I glance about the flat and see. So I went on spending sprees, on a weekly basis. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Love is a word that comes to mind. I suppose the biggest bargain I almost struck was a man. i was thinking I needed a man for immigration purposes. (marriage). So this one bloke offered himself up and the bargaining began. It started at forty pounds and in the end I had him down to five pounds and ten cigarettes. He was rather corpulent, causing Jessica to quip that I was getting a lot for my money. But somehow the deal fell apart. I do have his photograph but I have not yet figured out how to post images, so you will just have to use your imagination. Jessica did not buy much and sooner or later she stopped coming with me. But when she did she wrote this poem for me. It is appropriately enough titled Car Boot Sale.

Car Boot Sale (for Alexis)

China, flowers, books, and things
Alexis likes, her presence brings
Rejoicing, fun, a world that sings –

Because we love the car boot sale,
Of junk and treasures to be found,
Or purchased with a smile, the tale
Turns to a delight; around –

Such mortals as Alexis charms,
As I stay close in blissful awe,
Light seems to shine, her wit disarms
Each one, we live and dream for more.

Jessica Phibbs
26th September 2016

I do wonder parenthetically if there is an Oscar Award ceremony for blogs. Best incorporation of poetry into prose being an award. I think I have got it. So the car boot sale did indeed bring forth my wit and I loved joking around with people.
Another funny time not directly involving the car boot sale but took place there was in October of 2016. Funny man and I were contemplating taking our relationship somewhere but he had the rather irritating habit of not showing up at the right time and the right place. He had promised to call me in the morning to arrange a time and place for an assignation. Finally at 12:16 he called. I screamed at the top of my lungs: Who the (swear word) taught you how to tell time?” He would respond to such outbursts by saying: β€œI love it when you talk dirty!” I am usually sort of a pacifist. He did bring out the worst (and sometimes best) in me. But did not turn out. By that I mean not only did we not get married, have six kids, three of which went to Harvard but we did nothing at all.
But back to the Car Boot Sale. Fast forward: I am leaving, going to Canada. What to do with the stuff? Sell it back obviously. I had jokingly thought about it, became content to remain here but the idea at least been fermenting. I am a woman of my word and a woman of action. I have a space, for this coming Sunday, inside if it rains. Beatrice (who sold me a watch that is not working) told me to ask Faye, the coordinator, if I could have a table next to her. Faye said yes and I paid my money and it is ON. I am preparing. D-Day was launched with less precision than this. I have stickers to price of the items. I have huge plastic bags to cart the stuff across the street. I have ordered a table and a place to hang clothes because I am getting rid of some of my surplus clothes. I have a time to go and set up. I have hangers to hang the clothe on and have arranged to get change. I am a natural. I speak with Faye and tell her that I am not going to bargain. A price is a price. She laughs and says she is calling in extra security and sending them down to monitor my activity. I am going to love this. Too bad you can’t sell off men at this events. Some inappropriate guy was chasing after me and I bought a cushion that says: No Entry. I will take a picture of it and post it when I learn how. So if you are in London do come by. Come through the door and Beatrice and I will be just to your left. Bring money.


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