December 8, 2025
Today is my one week anniversary. I have been living in KL for one whole week. My major accomplishment? Learning how to make toast without a toaster or even figuring out how the induction stove top works. There is blessedly a ‘fully’ equipped kitchen in my studio unit. Strangely fully equipped. I have a pot, a rice cooker, a frying pan. That is well and good but I have never used a rice cooker ever, in my 82 years of living on this earth and I still cannot figure out how to turn on the induction stove. I shall today. That is my mission after I get the blog off. There is also a washer and dryer. Would have preferred a dishwasher – but oh well. Or a regular oven. Oh well. Maybe I will get instructions on how to operate the washer/dryer at the same time as I learn about the stove top. Stay tuned. Hahaha
Faithful readers will know that the words to a song come to my mind. I cannot be free of them. This has to be the weirdest one. I am going to sit right down and write myself a letter. I shall now provide you with the lyrics, I know that is just what you want. Hahaha
I’m gonna sit right down and write myself a letter
And make believe it came from you
I’m gonna write words, oh so sweet
They’re gonna knock me off my feet
A lotta kisses on the bottom
I’ll be glad I got ’em
I’m gonna smile and say, “I hope you’re feeling better”
And close with “Love,” the way you do
I’m gonna sit right down and write myself a letter
And make believe that it came from you
I’ll be glad I got ’em
I’m gonna smile and say, “I hope you’re feeling better”
And then I’ll close with “Love,” the way you do
I’m gonna sit down, write myself a letter
And make believe it came
Though I know it’s not the same
I’ll make believe it came from you
Does this make any sense? NO. Does anything make any sense in this world of ours? NO
Who writes letters this days? Nobody. So why this song.? Perhaps I have not heard from a certain person. Perhaps I should change the words of the song to: I am going sit write down and write myself a WhatsApp and make believe if came from you. I am not going to do it. What a phenomenal waste of time. I converse only with people who are in my life, or gonna be in my life soon. And responsive ones. I do enjoy archiving people and then after awhile, with Shamir’s help, eliminate them. Maybe the song came to mind to remind me of my power.
I received great news yesterday which I immediately conveyed to Shamir.
Me: Guess what??? An Apple Store only 14 km away.
He: Just a stone throw away
Me: Or a GRAB ride. Hahaha. And I know a guy who works there, apparently
So all of this is good news from the home front as they used to say. Googled it and AI poppers up with this.
“News from the home front” refers to updates on the civilian side of a nation during wartime, focusing on daily life, sacrifices (like rationing, Victory Gardens, scrap drives), social changes (women in factories, African Americans’ “double victory”), and how ordinary people manage amid conflict, often depicted in media like the BBC’s “Home Front” drama or novels about WWII experiences.
Well this is not WWII – not quite yet WWIII. But no use dwelling on the bad news.
I am about to introduce the Oyster Farm Saga, written in large part by Artificial Intelligence. Not remembering the history, I went to the search engine of my blog, typing in oyster.farm and the first blog that popped up up was August 10, 2025. I am copying and pasting this paragraph.
“Shamir asked the following question of AI: What was Alexis McBride, the lawyer famous for? Which case brought her renown? The answer? I was famous for shutting down an oyster farm. Shamir find this hilariously funny, teasing me all the time about it. I threaten him – saying I will will take him to West Marin to see what is going on there these days. Waiting for that day and perhaps instead, we just decided to put something on YouTube. Therefore the rehearsal, pre oyster reel. But no sense doing it all again, the oysters are dead. I will include a photo of them, although those guys came from Australia not Tomales Bay. Please use your imagination.”
I have been, as they say, living that down, for months and months. There is a video of Shamir and I discussing this on a video on my YouTube. It has risen to such fame. (Hahaha)
Faithful readers will know that my excessive use of Artificial Intelligence began with this query by Shamir. For some unknown and unknowable reason I decided to ask Artificial Intelligence to re examine the entire issue. It was done and now you shall have the opportunity to read, and digest, the result.
THE LEGEND OF THE WOMAN WHO SHUT DOWN THE OYSTER FARM
A tale for Shamir, retold with proper flair
Once upon a time in Marin County — where wealthy environmentalists sip lattes while arguing about compost — there lived a formidable woman named Alexis McBride, an attorney working for the Environmental Health Department.
She wasn’t just any lawyer.
She was the kind who actually read aerial photographs.
And one day, on one such photo, she noticed something alarming:
A mysterious stain creeping toward the oyster beds.
Not algae.
Not mud.
But raw sewage.
That’s right — a septic system on a local oyster farm was leaking human waste directly into the waters where unsuspecting oysters floated peacefully, dreaming of lemon wedges and cocktail sauce.
But Alexis did not sit behind a desk writing memos.
Oh no.
She pulled on rubber boots
(the kind that say: This is going to get messy.)
She walked the land. She smelled the air.
She saw trailers full of undocumented workers, forced to live in appalling conditions with an overflowing septic system — the source of the vile effluent oozing into the bay.
And Alexis did what noble lawyers do:
She sued the bastards.
Not for money.
Not for drama.
But for injunctive relief — the legal equivalent of saying:
Stop this filth IMMEDIATELY.
And she won.
The oyster farm was shut down.
Oysters rejoiced.
They lived to filter another day.
The bay sighed in relief.
But the people?
Oh, the people were NOT happy.
Because nothing enrages certain Californians like someone protecting the environment in a way that inconveniences them personally.
Yet Alexis stood firm.
Boots muddy.
Case closed.
Justice served.
And now, 25 years later, Shamir discovers this mighty tale through the archives of the internet and exclaims (in true Shamir fashion):
“Madam Alexis is FAMOUS!”
And he is right.
Not because you sought fame —
but because you did your job with integrity,
protected the bay,
and saved a community from contaminated oysters and exploitation.
A final line just for you to tell him:
“Shamir, remember: oysters may have pearls, but I had rubber boots and injunctions. That’s why they still talk about me.”
THE LEGEND OF ALEXIS & THE GREAT OYSTER FARM TAKEDOWN
(A cheeky, fully armed, rubber-booted retelling)
Once upon a time in Marin County — a place full of Teslas, tofu, and very earnest environmentalists — there worked a certain brilliant, terrifyingly effective, stylish-even-in-rubber-boots lawyer named Alexis McBride.
She was minding her own business at the Environmental Health Department when…
ACT I — The Suspicious Aerial Photo
An aerial inspection revealed something horrendous:
Sewage. In. The. Oyster. Beds.
Raw filth oozing toward innocent oysters who had done NOTHING to deserve such indignity.
Alexis squinted at the photo and said the line that will echo through history:
“Not on my watch.”
Meanwhile, the oyster-farm owner was running a side operation, complete with illegal workers living in dodgy trailers and — you guessed it — an overflowing septic system that had given up on life.
ACT II — The Boots
Most people would write a memo.
But Alexis?
No, no, she put on rubber boots.
Rubber boots that would one day become legend.
Marching through muck like the avenging angel of clean water, she inspected the disaster herself. No clipboard warriors here — just one determined woman squelching through filth, gathering evidence.
ACT III — The Injunction Heard Around the Bay
Armed with the truth (and possibly still smelling like a swamp), she sued for injunctive relief.
And she won.
Operations shut down.
The illegal set-ups dismantled.
The septic system defeated.
The oysters saved.
Nature restored.
Villagers rejoiced.
Owner… less so.
For a brief moment, Marin County trembled —
because they realized that if someone crossed clean water, environmental law, or basic dignity…
Alexis McBride WOULD PUT ON THE BOOTS AGAIN.
EPILOGUE — The Oyster Whisperer
Years later, the tale still circulates.
Shamir sends GIFs.
Strangers say, “You shut down WHAT?”
And oysters — all along the Northern California coast — tell their children about the day a heroic woman saved them from becoming toilet-flavoured.
And thus was born your unlikely claim to fame on Google.
Here is a super short version written specially for Shamir.
THE SCANDALOUS SHAMIR VERSION
“Once upon a time in Marin County, a certain glow-worm lawyer discovered that an oyster farm was basically marinating its oysters in raw human sewage. The owner had undocumented workers living in dodgy trailers, the septic tank was overflowing like a bad Bollywood drama, and everyone was pretending nothing smelled funny.
So what did Alexis do?
She put on rubber boots, marched into the muck like an avenging angel, found the evidence, sued the whole operation, and shut the place DOWN so fast the oysters applauded.
Locals said she was ruthless.
But the oysters?
They called her Mother Teresa with litigation skills.”
“I’m the 82-year-old Muslim woman who once shut down an entire California oyster farm for leaking shit into the bay — and I did it in rubber boots.”
Short. Cheeky. Scandalous.
Shamir will HOWL.
Well I am not sure if her will or not but he is posting this blog on the Internet.
I am now at breakfast. This was my good morning greeting. “Good morning. My breakfast obviously not cooked by me. The absolutely delicious Turkish breakfast from Common Man, right next door, more on my blog.”
Received a response from friend Elina.
She: Interesting. I’m in Putrajaya Mosque. Learning to speak to Japanese visitors,
Me. Impressive!!! I never could do that. Toured my way through Japan alone without learning a word of Japanese. And lives to tell about it. Hahaha
I shall close on that high note. You shall see photos of yummy Common Man breakfasts. More to come. Also to follow a GIF sent by Shamir commenting on the oyster farm being featured again.
